Hi just wanted to introduce myself. Im Shannon 33.
Just a little background. I have had gender identity issues since i was about 4 years old, But have been to afraid to do anything about it untill now. This was partly due to an incident at Playschool/Kindergarten where i was playing dress up and put on a pink ballerina outfit. this didnt go down to well and although i cant remember exactly what was said, it was made clear that boys didnt wear these clothes.
After that although the issue was still there i didnt really have any concept of what it was. So it was largely ignored by me untill i was around 13-14 years old. However i have realised that alot of things that happened at school during this time where due to me over compensating. trying to act overly male.
After the age of 13 i started to think about it more and more, trying on my mums clothes when she was out. this really didnt work out too well as i was already taller than her (mum is very tiny). since then the thoughts and dreams would always be there. Sometimes they would feel overwhelming, and sometimes i could push them away and get on with things. trouble a school became so bad that i ran away from home at one point.
At 22 i decided to attend university and moved into a student house. there where 4 of us living there one girl who was gay one boy who was gay and one other boy who was straight. During this time i experimented with my sexuality thinking it may be that i was gay myself and that this was why i was feeling these things. however i soon figured out that this wasnt the case and became depressed. this led to an overdose a year of therapy and bankrupsy from developing a gambling problem.
Even during the therapy i didnt talk about the gender issue. However when i reached the age of 31 i decided that i needed more therapy to resole issues from my past. i enroled in a 5 day a week theraputic community. i finally brought it into the group after nearly 10 months. I was physically shaking when i did as i had never told anybody about this before. I was supprised at the reaction i got yes there was some shock and bemusement. but everybody was very accepting of it.
This has finally given me the confidence to experiment i recently ordered some clothes over the web and a wig and makeup. Though i am still waiting for some things to arrive, i sit here typing this wearing skinny ladies jeans a tunic top and other things (you get the idea). and i feel comfortable. although i dont want to rush into anything as i have to be sure of this before i do anything permenant, i feel like i want to go out. i think i will once i am confident that my makeup skills are a little better and i can pass as a woman.
Anyway if you managed to get through all that thanks. i know i went on a bit sorry about that. i felt i needed to get it out.
