I'm already sick of training people and there is still one more to go, a slow learner from the looks of it. And none of them will be as perfect as I am, sooo disappointing.

Dreamt that I was getting ready for someone's wedding.  All the guys were getting ready in one house, all the girls were getting ready in another and I had nowhere to be.
I never got upset by dreams prior to HRT but now, they can really trow me off for the whole day.

People keep trolling my trans group. These are people I know who claim to be allies. They're going to ruin it. They've already ruined it for me as well as ruined my hopes of finding acceptance in the LGB community. I don't know if there is anything I can do because then they'll make even more drama.

My boss

I finally pinned down the dates I had my shots....turns out I was supposed to have the third one last week. whoops D= totally my bad...but I fear waiting times and possibly my funding not being approved (I was told they were looking in to it when I had my last shot) - will make that one week turn in to several =/

So... I was supposed to have the doctor's appointment today and I had prepared for it by not taking lunch to work because I would've had to leave during lunch break and not being able to make it back to work.
Well, it just so happened that they called me two hours before the appointment that it's been cancelled. Yeah, very nice. Now I had to work through the whole day without a lunch because I didn't have any money to buy anything from the cafeteria nearby.

It's just pretty damn fair that if I have to cancel an appointment there, I have to do it two days earlier or else I'll get over 30€ fine while they can cancel appointments the same day they're supposed to be on.
Pfft, whatever. Didn't think I would've benefitted anything from the doctor when the psychologist I'm seeing there is a total flop already.

I'm reading an INTJ forum. Although there is a healthy amount of debate on various topics, it's like a bunch of mini-mes all got computers and are now arguing with each other.

Grr, got to sleep early, only to wake up 4ish hours later. Can't get back to sleep. Bah.

Fmph, more or less no sleep, now up early to go and pee into a machine (what lives we lead...)

I've had a lot of head injuries. Stitches and concussions and lumps and things I don't remember. I almost never recognize faces and I can't remember large parts of my life, and I don't want to be treated like a child so I never tell anybody but I think everyone on earth has had some interface with the fact that pretending to be fine doesn't always work for all problems.

Thinking about this stuff.

My mother came home early from work today....when I have an online therapy appointment in 20 minutes

I have been at Stanford hospital since Saturday...My mother is in rejection from her heart transplant, and the doctors prognosis is not positive. I hate this, I cant do anything but sit here in the waiting room and go look through the window to her once every hour or two.
I dont think I can continue down my path without her physically at my side.

Quote from: Gen88 on February 06, 2013, 11:22:30 AM
I have been at Stanford hospital since Saturday...My mother is in rejection from her heart transplant, and the doctors prognosis is not positive. I hate this, I cant do anything but sit here in the waiting room and go look through the window to her once every hour or two.
I dont think I can continue down my path without her physically at my side.

I'm sorry Gen, be thinking of you hon!

Thanks Shantel...

Quote from: Gen88 on February 06, 2013, 11:22:30 AM
I have been at Stanford hospital since Saturday...My mother is in rejection from her heart transplant, and the doctors prognosis is not positive. I hate this, I cant do anything but sit here in the waiting room and go look through the window to her once every hour or two.
I dont think I can continue down my path without her physically at my side.

I'm so sorry. 

Quote from: Gen88 on February 06, 2013, 11:22:30 AM
I have been at Stanford hospital since Saturday...My mother is in rejection from her heart transplant, and the doctors prognosis is not positive. I hate this, I cant do anything but sit here in the waiting room and go look through the window to her once every hour or two.
I dont think I can continue down my path without her physically at my side.

I had a friend die in heart surgery when she was in her twenties. That's really scary. I don't have good words for how to say I hope it's alright, but I hope it's alright.

You and your mother are in our thoughts Gen

We are here for you

{{{HUGS}}}

Well,  my bank account made me sad,  but that seems small fish reading this.  Love and loved ones are the only really important things.  Hugs Gen88.

I had a job interview today; didn't get the job. Though I knew that during the interview because they were too busy not listening to my answers and playing on their cell-phones or stifling yawns. I feel like a total idiot for wasting my whole day, waiting for this thing - hoping, wanting - and then to get such a rude response.

Gen, I'm so sorry. Sending lots of happy thoughts your way that it works out.

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 19, and I know what it's like to be standing around the hospital waiting and feeling helpless. PM me if you need someone to talk to.