Hi i was wondering what people felt the first time they went out dressed. I havent been out yet but am really wanting too soon. i say i havent been out in fact i just did, but only 200 yards down the road to the post box. A couple of cars went past but that was all. I am a little nervous about going out properly. Though i think i pass as female reasonably well, i am worried about someone clocking me and saying something.

Quote from: Shannon1979 on February 07, 2013, 02:50:10 PM
Hi i was wondering what people felt the first time they went out dressed. I havent been out yet but am really wanting too soon. i say i havent been out in fact i just did, but only 200 yards down the road to the post box. A couple of cars went past but that was all. I am a little nervous about going out properly. Though i think i pass as female reasonably well, i am worried about someone clocking me and saying something.

Two days after my gender epiphany I came out to my wife and explained that the casual outfit I bought was for me, not for her. Then I got dressed and drove to the grocery store en femme. Now, it was the first time I had dressed in gender appropriate (womens) clothing since I was 15, and it felt so good to finally be myself that tears of joy and relief just poured down my cheeks. I was a liitle nervous, since I had no makeup, no accessories, no chest padding, close cropped hair that was mostly bald on top. But I felt completely female and radiated something. I got a few curious looks from men in the grocery store, but nothing i could say as unfriendly. The one person I talked with, a female checker, was wonderful. She ma'amed me and asked me how I was doing, and when I said that I was a little nervous but just so happy to be alive, she reached out, held my hand, and said that I looked beautiful and to stay strong. She said her mother went through the same thing, and I asked how is she now and she said fully recovered.
As I left the store, still glowing and tears once again in my eyes, I realized that when she saw a heavy, flat chested, mostly bald woman she assumed I was a cancer survivor.
It was a minor miracle, and not far from the truth, as my unresolved gender dysphoria had nearly killed ne, but I was a survivor and fighting to win my health.

Thanks for the reply. Thats a great story, i think i will just do it. And if i get any looks it doesnt matter as long as i am happy being me.

Good for you shannon. I can't get round the thought of going out at the moment in female clothes. i stick to underwear and none exposed items. And only try clothes on in my bedroom when nobody is around. I hope one day though I'll have the confidence to do the same.I'm very shy you see, something that isn't helping starting to transition easier.
But I've been ordering clothes recently so at least I will move up to wearing them around the house eventually, just that I'm stuck living with my parents cause of the lack of a decent payed job where I live

But oh well, good luck to you. When something feels right for you, it doesn't matter what other people think.

Thanks jason. I dont know what clothes you have but i only recently ordered some things as well. One thing i did order was some decent make up and a good wig. i wore it for the first time today. It made all the difference to me when i got dressed put on makeup and the wig i was surprised at how feminine i could look. i think its just a matter of finding the right style. and getting clothes that flatter your figure whatever it is. i made a few mistakes but i think i have some idea now.

I felt great, really comfortable. I didn't care what other people thought and honestly I'm not sure they even were paying attention.

Hi Girls,

Remember going out is perfectly OK. You are allowed to be you! Ignore people. Don't look at people as in 'I wonder if they clock me?'. It is none of their business. Unless you live in a country that has a law saying people cannot walk the street wearing female clothing, then you are perfectly OK doing so.

A few ideas that may be worthwhile.   

DON'T go to a lonely isolated dark area to go out in the belief that no one will see you.  Because you have a very good chance of being seen by the predators who hide in the dark waiting for victims.

DO be confident, it is the BIG secret.

Have a bit of a plan, shopping malls are good, even though there are a lot of people, but in many ways that is a big positive, as you are hidden by the crowd.

Wear shoes you can walk in! Nice heels are great, I love them, but try walking for a few hours, and hour, half an hour in heels and the foot gets pretty sore!

Wear clothes appropriate for where you are. Not many woman wear the LBD at the grocery store.

Finally ENJOY!!

The first time I went out I went down to a very busy gay bar with some friends and had an absolute ball. No one even gave me a second glance all night which really surprised me. There were a few hurdles to get over, like walking a long distance from my car past a packed sidewalk bar where everyone could get a look at me. As I walked by I did not see any heads turn and I gave a sigh of relief.

After we had been at the bar for about 30 minutes I had to give myself a little mental shake and remember that I was presenting en femme. It felt so natural that i had completely forgotten what i was doing. I was just a girl out on the town for the evening.

I was surprised that my safety was my primary concern. I had never felt as exposed as I did that night, and I came away with a new appreciation of the dangers that women face daily. Normally i never give it a second thought.

My feet killed me the next day from walking all night in 4" heels LOL.....

Hi Shannon;
Cindy is right confidence is the key. When you are out dressed, keep you head up, look people in the eyes (dont look down) act as if you own the space you are in. I love going to the Shopping malls, but as Cindy said make sure you  wear comfortable shoes.

Dont but cheap shoes. My favourites are Diania Ferari as they do wider C fittings (available on line or at outlets in Australia).

One thing is you can do to help build your confidence is find a trans friendly beautician (beauty therapist) and get your nails and toenails filed, and a nice colour polished, get your eyebrows shaped and eyelashes and eyebrows tinted and get one of the beauticians to give you a makeover.

I have a monthly session with my therapist and Doctor and I go to the beautician in the morning for my nails and toenaiils  and makeup session (then once every two months  I also get my eyebrows and eyelashes done,  as well as periodically getting my legs and bikini line waxed, as well as my arms and underams done as well (you know their is nothing worse than seeing a woman with hairy armpits) ,After my session with the beauty therapist its off to my favorite dress shops in the mall , a glass of wine and some salmon or oysters at the oyster bar at lunch and then the trip to Doctor & Therapist. Along the way I browse all the fashion places. I also make sure I have a Womens magazine to read on the tram

This"therapy and pampering"  is an amazing confidence booster and sets me up for the whole week.

Although I love high heels, realistically they are only  for evenings.

But I do wear open toe wedge sandals or kitten heels, always with open toe pantie hose. In Australia Vodoo do a great line of 8 denier.

Remember Head up, be safe and own your personal space.

Hugs

JudithLynn

Thanks for all the support. Judith though i am fairly confident with make up, the nails thing is a great idea. thats a particular area of concern for me due to having huge hands. i will def look into that.

I probably will go out to a mall as this would be good for confidence building for me.

   MadelineB

Apologies, I skipped past your post twice, meaning to come back to it. I have just done so and wish I'd read it before.

It was good. How you felt leaving the store. I felt as I read it.

Quote from: spacial on February 08, 2013, 06:59:12 AM
   MadelineB

Apologies, I skipped past your post twice, meaning to come back to it. I have just done so and wish I'd read it before.

It was good. How you felt leaving the store. I felt as I read it.

Thanks sweetie. )

I remember being scared as hell the first time I went out.  I was going to go to a trans friendly bar but chickened out.  But then I didn't want to go home either (and go back to being a guy).  Just ended up driving around for hours...All dressed up and no place to go.  It got easier after that.

That is a great story Madeline.