a person who i started to talk to on you tube wants to end it all, I need to know some additional things I can say to her or some numbers to call to try and get her to a good place. I have been talking with her now for a while, she will only respond via youtube and well also she still makes videos but she is ready to end her life.

Help for her please.

Shawn, suggest the suicide hotlines. They are trained to help. Hugs, Devlyn

i sent them as many numbers and helpful thoughts as I could, they simply said they were not interested in fighting anymore, and they are in such a financial mess on top of it all, that unless they get some money soon, they are just going to give up.

I won't go into details but I have money problems that are just as bad, but I haven't had quite the other problems lately that they have had, they told me there is nothing I or anyone else can say to change their mind, that they are going to just do it sometime this year, my heart is broken that there seems to be nothing i can do.

Shawn, is this person transgendered?

You might also suggest debt counseling, which will eventually include bankruptcy protection.

I can sympathize with anyone who has been devastated financially over the past four years.  And it may get worse.  All the more reason for people to address those issues sooner, rather than later.

Quote from: Pleasingly Plump Jamie D on February 08, 2013, 01:25:52 PM
Shawn, is this person transgendered?

You might also suggest debt counseling, which will eventually include bankruptcy protection.

I can sympathize with anyone who has been devastated financially over the past four years.  And it may get worse.  All the more reason for people to address those issues sooner, rather than later.

yes and they have transitioned already (well mostly)

careful with those hotlines. they will call the police to the persons house. and if they really want to end their life not much you can do.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on February 08, 2013, 01:42:33 PM
yes and they have transitioned already (well mostly)

I think, Shawn, you should your friend to join you here.  Some new faces and fresh ideas might do here good.

yes i extended the invitation. so far she does not want to come here, or talk about it at all anymore

Quote from: Tristan on February 08, 2013, 11:01:49 PM
careful with those hotlines. they will call the police to the persons house. and if they really want to end their life not much you can do.

That's not always such a bad thing. Someone calling the police on me from 500miles away saved my life and gave me the wake up call I needed. When we're like that it's something we'll be angry about and hate, but it can just save someone and get them through the night and clear their head long enough to fight again.

Speaking of someone who have tried to commit suicide and who knows people who tried suicide I will be there for speaking if you need someone. just send me a pm or whatever..
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to give some more general advice

First I will say, you really can't do much ells than try your best, whatever people take there lifes or not isnt always by our hands, im not really agenst the concept of "chosen death" like if people are extremly sick and in pain everyday and then choose to end there life with painkillers rather than keep the pain for half and year more.
those situations where its not to get better and the people just want to end there suffering in a faster way.
but many suicide attemts arn't like that, for many people who try or think of suicide there is posibilatys for it to get better, but people cant see it cause there stucked in the moment of suffering, or had been for a long time.

the best thing to do I belive is to just talk, and try to understand. being there for the people.
(now it sounds like theres more than 1 person? so im a bit confussed?) you can also try to get into what the problems is, to see how they could be helped.
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for the second, as I already mention your not god over this, and you cant be blamed and shoundnt.
I once had a friend of mine who tried to kill herself. during that period I felt blamed for all her suffering and almost guilty as I had been tried to murder her, cause I wasnt "good enough" or cause I had did things who had just made it all worse.

I also know another person who tried to take her life, and she had blamed the people who tried to help her alot.
If they didnt react they would had got into jail maybe for just looking. I dont know about the rules but here the rules say if someone is to die and you just ignore it, your a part of the blame + they didnt want to see there friends getting killed. But she dont think that and wont see them again..

I think this blame is common for many people when its about suicide,
but as I said again your trying to help so your not being blamed, I just think this is important to remember in caise she actually would do something bad.

Quote from: AlexanderC on February 10, 2013, 11:23:33 AM
That's not always such a bad thing. Someone calling the police on me from 500miles away saved my life and gave me the wake up call I needed. When we're like that it's something we'll be angry about and hate, but it can just save someone and get them through the night and clear their head long enough to fight again.

i know they can end up saving your life. im just sayin....

It'll sound horrible, but if you're able to, you should try not to worry about it too much. Make a few comments or suggestions or something, then stop spending energy on it. Personally, I'm still working on my ability not to care about things, but if you're able not to care, you might be better off not caring.

I've had two suicide situations over the Internet, and both times, not only did I feel completely useless, but I spent a huge amount of energy and my mood suffered from it a lot. Don't spend hours trying to convince them not to late at night. I think I've come to realize that suicidal people don't need reasoning, but help. Most of the time, their decision to die is reasoned, and no matter how flawed their reasoning is, they won't be convinced otherwise by you, because they either have already, or will as soon as you say them, dismissed all of your arguments.

So, yeah. Tell them what they should do, and if you're in a bind and they want to die very soon, you can always try calling 911, and the police should be able to track the person down, even if Interpol was to be used. If danger is imminent, you can try to gain time by speaking with them. In the first of those two situations, the guy had a knife on his throat and was doing his final goodbyes via MSN (a sign that he was mostly calling for help, I guess, because if you really want to die, you usually don't give 30 people in a row a chance to keep you from it). My own call to the 911 was useless, because the police here seems to be awful with IT, but his girlfriend (over the Internet I think) from another European country apparently called, and early in the morning, Interpol was knocking at that guy's door to bring him to help. So I heard from him.

So it's possible to help from a distance. Especially as these 2-3 last years, with incidents reported in the media of dead teenagers who had announced their intention on Facebook or YouTube a few days before, the police has been taking this more seriously. But keep in mind that it takes a lot of emotional strength and energy to take on a big challenge like this, which is why I won't do it anymore. (Or so I say, but it's hard to resist the urge to help.) As my psychologist told me, don't try to be a therapist. You'll tire yourself out, and might be useless or even make it worse.

If you're in a chat with them and they refuse to call a hotline, you can always call a hotline yourself so they tell you what to do. That might even be smarter, actually, than 911. They'll tell you the right thing you should do, and perhaps call the police appropriately.