I read a lot about people on the transition road experiencing effects of HRT (I think I am getting that correct) and how they notice the changes emotionally.

I am not on any sort of regimen yet of course, and not expecting it either (sadly). But, I find myself often reading the comments and thinking, heck I am already there and I am not even taking anything.

So of course it occurs to me, how much more could it impact me if I was (taking the HRT route).

I find myself crying at random for reasons I never manage to understand. I find myself musing about things entirely out of the norm for how I have been in the past before I made the mental evolution to accept I have mistaken myself for a long time. I've noticed I have become resistant to tolerating foul language, I dislike violence in film, I dislike aggressive confrontation in just about anything I have become unable to cope with so much of the cliche masculine of my past.

I am unsure how much of that would be affected by chemical modifications in my body, but then, all of the stuff they have elected to try on me over the years for depression has been generally chemical and for mental purposes.

So it makes me wonder, how much of an impact, might any of that actually have on my personality.

I'm very similar to you. I haven't started hrt but I plan to at some point. In regards to the sudden outbursts of tears, I've been doing that a lot since I began accepting myself. No reason what so ever I would just begin to cry or laugh or whatever just happens to pop up.

I've always been very squeemish. (i almost faint most of the time) it can be very stressful. Literally, I went for an x-ray a couple of months ago cause I fell off my bike. I actually did faint just by looking at my own x-ray. Which I have no explanation for.

So like you I would like to know just how much starting hrt could affect the way I am now.

I have a feeling that those of us with unstable moods might be counciled rather more throughly before starting and sort of HRT.

It may seem like another hurdle, but if I'm completely honest, I couldn't handle my depressions getting any worse.

I am over a year on hormones, and have noticed a difference. I am quicker to cry, more emotional, less physical and dislike confrontations. Whereas before, those things were abhorrent to me - I didn't cry nor shy away from anything.

Take this with a massive pinch of salt - no scientific evidence, only anecdotal :p. But personally speaking, I think most has to do with the shift in the psyche rather than a chemical change.

As "guys", we're conditioned to bottle-up our emotions, to enjoy confrontation. But transitioning can act as an outlet for some of those pent-up feelings.

But overall, my personality hasn't changed. I still like the same things, and hate the same things, as before. But, I'm happier now than I ever was before!
x

My moods have been overall more stable since being on hrt and the headaches I got really bad before went away almost completely. I've never taken high doses though.

Quote from: Bexi on February 09, 2013, 07:52:01 PM
As "guys", we're conditioned to bottle-up our emotions, to enjoy confrontation. But transitioning can act as an outlet for some of those pent-up feelings.

But overall, my personality hasn't changed. I still like the same things, and hate the same things, as before. But, I'm happier now than I ever was before!
x

Quote from: crazy at the coast on February 09, 2013, 10:22:55 PM
My moods have been overall more stable since being on hrt and the headaches I got really bad before went away almost completely. I've never taken high doses though.

These are both interesting. The latter especially points out that things can improve once the stress is removed.

Perhaps I was wrong? Sorry Lesley.

Stress removal. Oh I sure would like some stress removal

I feel like a spring that has been wound too tight for too long.

I go through plenty of days too incapable of just doing anything because I'm simply holding on too tight unwilling to 'feel' just about anything as almost anything seems to come with too much of a price.

In assessing my own pre and post HRT crying I have to say much of the pre was due to the 30-40 years of living in a constant low level depressed state. That became easy to recognize after seeing what life feels like again. Due in part to starting HRT.

Sure, if I had a log recording and doing an analysis of the emotional swings before and after they are certainly more plentyfull now. I see this as a good thing. My life before vascillated between half dead or completely dead. I only cried over sad things.

Now I am mostly alive. My moods can swing through a range of happy/joyous to sad/depressed. I cry over both. I can feel and experience a range of emotions formerly totally unknown or long long forgotten during a very dedicated 30-40 years of burying being trans. It can be a bit overwhelming at times. But I'd rather feel I am totally alive vs some form of dead.

Low dose HRT is pretty widely accepted as a treatment option. I have been on/off HRT several times throughout my life. My equivalent of the PC 3 finger salute to reboot my brain. It worked pretty well to restore me back to my "normal"; partially screwed up as opposed to totally. I could face faking being a guy with a few crutches for a few more years or even a decade.

It wasn't untill now when I moved from low to transitional levels did the big emotional changes come. Or I should say were allowed to be built upon a foundation made by a lot of self work, introspection, and learning new or better ways of doing things in my life. IMHO not even a Chicken & Egg situation. I feel it was the hard emotional work that led to even further positive emotional outcomes.

Loosing the shame and the guilt accumulated over a lifetime of ineffectively dealing with being trans works far better than a bottle of pills. HRT is a tool. You still need to do much of the hard work.

Quote from: spacial on February 09, 2013, 07:31:49 PM
I have a feeling that those of us with unstable moods might be counciled rather more throughly before starting and sort of HRT.

It may seem like another hurdle, but if I'm completely honest, I couldn't handle my depressions getting any worse.

Dude, I was so psychologically unstable pre-transtion I can't even. Dysphoria does bad things.

My gender therapist's response to my previous diagnosis of borderline personality disorder? "Ya, that's pretty common."

Quote from: Sarah7 on February 10, 2013, 09:52:23 AM
Dude, I was so psychologically unstable pre-transtion I can't even. Dysphoria does bad things.

My gender therapist's response to my previous diagnosis of borderline personality disorder? "Ya, that's pretty common."

I should have figured that as well. Thanks,

I suppose that only leaves ensuring that the stress is actually caused by the transgender and not another issue.

(And as charming and W Coast US it undoubtedly is, I'm not actually a dude. But I take your point!).

Quote from: spacial on February 10, 2013, 11:49:01 AM
I should have figured that as well. Thanks,

I suppose that only leaves ensuring that the stress is actually caused by the transgender and not another issue.

(And as charming and W Coast US it undoubtedly is, I'm not actually a dude. But I take your point!).

Yep, I did a psych eval to make sure it wasn't being caused by anything else. Over last three years, the issues that led to the BPD diagnosis have ceased. So for some of us anyway, HRT and/or transition can be really stabilizing.

(Sorry, I know you are a woman. It's not a gender thing, more like a verbal tick for emphasis? I try to avoid doing it on here cause some people get bothered by it, but sometimes it slips out. Sorry about that.)