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when to go full time?

Started by Stephanie G, February 12, 2013, 01:21:22 AM

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Stephanie G

Ok I know this question has probably been asked soooo many times but I honestly dont know the answer. Lik3 I was kinda hoping I would have the money to align with my progression on hormones as to get the few facial surguries and laser done before going full time. Though I dont have the money yet being on hormones its getting to the point that it is obvious.

Like here is a picture of me as of like 3 weeks ago


Anyways I just dont know what to do because I cant get the money and I dont want to feel like a guy in a dress. Like I know im not I just want to see me when I look in the mirror not a feminine guy. It kinda sucks that money is the only thing standing between me and my self comfort. Any advice would be greatly appreciated cause tbh im lost.
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anya921

Must say you look cute in the picture. But only will know when you will be ready to go full time.

As for me. I waited till I was sooo convince  that I looked like a girl enough. I think if I wanted I could have gone full time earlier  but I was scared I could not pass as a girl even though all my friends were assured me I can pass without any trouble. I stayed till the moment that I could not present my self in male mode. In the later days people thought I was a girl who like to wear guys cloths lol. HRT didn't changed my breasts nor it didn't do much of a fat redistribution during first year.  But I always had kind of a girly face and a frame. So HRT helped me to improve in that department to a point that made  people to think I am a Girl in boys cloths.

So in my case, I waited till the moment I was no longer being able to pass in male mode.  But the decision is all up to you dear.
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Stephanie G

Thanks for the input I was kinda thinking the same thing I just know that when it starts getting warmer I wont be able to hide it anymore. Wont be able to wear a jacket anymore but as it stands I actually dress pretty feminine so idk.
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kelly_aus

Just do it..

Seriously, many of the things we worry about when it comes to 'passing' are things only other trans people are going to notice. The only comments I've heard from other people in the last 6 months or so were from a trans woman - who seemed to take great delight in trying to point out my 'faults' and to publicly humiliate me.. Too bad it backfired on her, she looked like a bad drag queen and my lesbian sisters  took great delight in pointing that out and tearing her down.
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Stephanie G

The thing is I kibda always wanted to be comfortable In my own skin before I went full time as of right now im not :(  though it seems like im on a timeline that regardless if I am or not I will need to do it
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Alainaluvsu

I just waited until it got to the point where I was being gendered more as a female than as a male even in the most masculine clothing. It DID get to that point. It just kinda got hard to go out in male at that point. I got fired and that marked the start of full time for me :)
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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anya921

Quote from: Stephanie G on February 12, 2013, 02:00:03 AM
The thing is I kibda always wanted to be comfortable In my own skin before I went full time as of right now im not :(  though it seems like im on a timeline that regardless if I am or not I will need to do it

I know the feeling well. This is what made to wait to go full time in the first place. But the risk of waiting too much time is, people will start to question your appearance and the way you dress all over again.  . Same way as  if you go too early.

One thing I can tell for sure is you will never feel 100% comfortable till you go full time, specially if you are someone like me.

During the first few months after I went full time, whenever someone looked at me the first thing that came to my mind was, "did they found  out" and it made me pretty nervous. No one ever guessed what I used to be and I was never outed, but it took several months to get over that feeling and getting comfortable in my own skin without crawling under whenever someone looked at me. 
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suzifrommd

I can't bear the idea of waiting until I pass perfectly before going full time.

Especially since that might be forever. I've got large ears and a big bald area at the top of my head. Does that doom me forever to living as a man.

No. I'm going full time after this school year is over, because I'm tired of living a double life. I'd rather people see me just as a woman, but having them see me as a Trans woman is infinitely preferable to having them see me as a man.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: agfrommd on February 12, 2013, 08:49:01 AM
I can't bear the idea of waiting until I pass perfectly before going full time.

Especially since that might be forever. I've got large ears and a big bald area at the top of my head. Does that doom me forever to living as a man.

No. I'm going full time after this school year is over, because I'm tired of living a double life. I'd rather people see me just as a woman, but having them see me as a Trans woman is infinitely preferable to having them see me as a man.

I have big ears :P
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Tristan

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on February 12, 2013, 02:13:05 AM
I just waited until it got to the point where I was being gendered more as a female than as a male even in the most masculine clothing. It DID get to that point. It just kinda got hard to go out in male at that point. I got fired and that marked the start of full time for me :)
this is a good rule of thumb. its when i went full time too
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MaidofOrleans

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on February 12, 2013, 02:13:05 AM
I just waited until it got to the point where I was being gendered more as a female than as a male even in the most masculine clothing. It DID get to that point. It just kinda got hard to go out in male at that point. I got fired and that marked the start of full time for me :)

This is my plan...except the getting fired part  :P
"For transpeople, using the right pronoun is NOT simply a 'political correctness' issue. It's core to the entire struggle transpeople go through. Using the wrong pronoun means 'I don't recognize you as who you are.' It means 'I think you're confused, delusional, or mentally I'll.'. It means 'you're not important enough for me to acknowledge your struggle.'"
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Emily Aster

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on February 12, 2013, 02:13:05 AM
I just waited until it got to the point where I was being gendered more as a female than as a male even in the most masculine clothing. It DID get to that point. It just kinda got hard to go out in male at that point. I got fired and that marked the start of full time for me :)

That's kind of what I'm thinking, without getting fired. I'll probably do a part-time before that happens though and just not speak.
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BunnyBee

Waiting till you get gendered female most of the time is a good plan, unless that never happens.  Heck, I could stuff my hair inna hat and pass as a guy right now if I wanted.  Being mega tall is the main reason for that, but still.
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Nero

Quote from: Jen on February 12, 2013, 06:56:09 PMHeck, I could stuff my hair inna hat and pass as a guy right now if I wanted.

I seriously doubt that, hon.  :laugh:
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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BunnyBee

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anya921

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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: anya on February 13, 2013, 01:10:50 AM
I  don't think so  :P

I do. I don't pass well with my hair up or gone either =/
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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AusBelle

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on February 13, 2013, 02:51:29 AM
I do. I don't pass well with my hair up or gone either =/

I used to think that to (about me, not you  :) ), but then it dawned on me that I always wore my hair up in a pony tail, so there wasn't a big difference. 

But as for going full time, I can't even remember when I did.  Define full time?

I got my name changed on my drivers license and all the docs I could really early on, and then sort of lived an andro lifestyle, but always used my new name.

More often than not got gendered female.  Then about a year later started a legal secretary course.  Naturally wearing business clothes and wearing makeup every day.  Then about 6 months later got a full time job.  I'm still in that role now, over 17 years later.

But at the end of the day you'll go whatever you define as full time, when you are ready for it.  I'm sure you'll know when that is. 
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Stephanie G

I hope so i guess eventually it will just be the natural path I take when the time comes thanks for all the input :)
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