So I was talking with my mum about my forthcoming endo appointment, and what the problems are and what the treatment will involve.  I steered the conversation towards areas she understands and is comfortable with, which means physical symptoms and their possible physiological causes.  I'd need to see the endo even if I wasn't trans and looking more like the real me will be a happy byproduct of not feeling like crap all the time and stopping my internal organs from trying to kill me.  We had a good laugh about the heart attack my partner's going to have when I grow a beard. 

Mum talked about a woman she saw on TV whose symptoms "are the same as mine" (they're not).  She's convinced herself I have ovarian cysts, which is possible though I don't think it's necessarily true.  She talked some more about the TV show in question, and then proceeded to come out with a bunch of woo about vitamin C and a sh*t-load of (expensive) "herbal" snake-oil pills that the TV presenter says will fix the whole problem.  D'oh!  And I thought we were making such good progress.  Ah well, I also thought she'd gotten over her pseudo-science phase.

I suspect the real issue here is grandkids.  She's never mentioned grandkids (she doesn't actually like kids), but I think she's unwilling to accept the fact that she won't have any.  Poor mum seems to be clinging to the hope that my infertility could be reversed.  I do sympathize, but it ain't going to happen.  Even if I wanted kids it wouldn't happen, since getting pregnant requires eggs.

Quote from: Mosaic dude on February 12, 2013, 07:07:55 PM

Mum talked about a woman she saw on TV whose symptoms "are the same as mine" (they're not).  She's convinced herself I have ovarian cysts, which is possible though I don't think it's necessarily true.  She talked some more about the TV show in question, and then proceeded to come out with a bunch of woo about vitamin C and a sh*t-load of (expensive) "herbal" snake-oil pills that the TV presenter says will fix the whole problem.  D'oh!  And I thought we were making such good progress.  Ah well, I also thought she'd gotten over her pseudo-science phase.

Hey Mosaic, is she trying to say that's a cause for trans feelings or your physical symptoms? Either way, tell her ovarian cysts happen to both cis and trans people.

Devlyn:

Awww, that's the cutest facepalm ever.


Not-So-Fat Admin:

Short answer: both.  She was talking about physical symptoms.  However, she also thought that treating those symptoms would remove the need to get hormone therapy.  The subtext here was that, because ovarian cysts are treatable (with treatments that make me extremely sick as she knows perfectly well), I could get them treated and have a functional female reproductive tract.  This is not going to happen, but in all fairness she doesn't know that because I've never told her how my anatomy differs from the standard issue model.  I should, but I'd like to get the endo's opinion and probably a karyotype test first, because it'll be much easier if I can tell her what exactly is going on in there.  I have a horrible feeling I may literally need to draw a diagram.

I must confess I was slow on the uptake here because it simply never ocurred to me that anyone with any choice in the matter would want a functioning female reproductive tract, but she has a similar inability to understand why anyone would want to get a hysto. 

My mom has known for about 12 years that I don't want kids and will never have any, but it never struck her how true that was until I came out to her.  I think it's something that's getting in the way of true acceptance because she wants grandkids and now I definitely won't be having any for her.

I think some parents say they don't want grandkids, but they really do.  It's not something I grasp, but I don't care for kids.

Edit:  And pseudo-science.... Makes it fun to deal with parents.

QuoteMy mom has known for about 12 years that I don't want kids and will never have any, but it never struck her how true that was until I came out to her.  I think it's something that's getting in the way of true acceptance because she wants grandkids and now I definitely won't be having any for her.

Yup.  That's how it is for me.  I don't have any siblings, so there really won't be any grandkids at all, and I think that's hard for my folks.  I do understand that.  My parents are more than happy to have a default son most of the time, but they also want those grandkids.  I need to be able to explain that even if I was a woman and wanted children there wouldn't be any grandkids (though of course it's more complicated than that).

Quote from: Mosaic dude on February 13, 2013, 04:34:20 PM
Yup.  That's how it is for me.  I don't have any siblings, so there really won't be any grandkids at all, and I think that's hard for my folks.  I do understand that.  My parents are more than happy to have a default son most of the time, but they also want those grandkids.  I need to be able to explain that even if I was a woman and wanted children there wouldn't be any grandkids (though of course it's more complicated than that).

Good luck!  My parents...well, I don't think they'd listen to me even if I had a medical reason behind not having kids.  I do have a sibling, but my mom would still like kids from me.  [Not happening. Ever.  There won't even be adoption in the future.]  Some parents are just really stubborn, though.

QuoteSome parents are just really stubborn, though.

That they are.