So I'm FTM and I know that once you start T, after a while you become infertile. I want to start T as soon as possible but this kind of confuses and upsets me. I know I want kids. I want a kid to call me Daddy. I want to be there for my kids and provide them with the best life possible. Heck, I'm talking about kids that I don't even have yet. I want kids, but in a paternal way, not a maternal way. I don't want to be pregnant. I want a child that is mine, my own flesh and blood. It won't even be possible when I start T. Sure there's adoption, and I'd love them like they were my own flesh and blood, but when they're old enough to find their real parents they may want to and love me less. I wish this was easier. I'm still young, I don't want kids yet, but I want to when I'm older. When people say to me, 'well you won't be able to have kids' I always turn round and say there's adoption, when really, inside, it's ripping me apart that I'll never have a kid of my own. I just want to be a dad. I'm not being big headed but I think I'd be a damn good dad. I'd love my kid more than anything in the world. I'd protect them, I'd be there for them, I'd play games with them, I'd let them make choices for themselves. What if this is all a mistake like everyone seems to tell me? What if I become infertile and then there's no going back. I know I'm a guy, I know that.

Joey

Joey, I'm pretty sure adopted kids don't love their parents less after meeting their biological parents. And the world has lots of infertile men in it. They do fine. Hugs, Devlyn

I am not sure how long it takes to become infertile, but one of the transguys I've met has been on T for some years (not sure how many) and he's thinking of getting his eggs removed and frozen. He'll have to go on E for a bit to get them ready to be removed, but it's possible to still have your own biological kids with a surrogate mother.

Thanks Devlyn.

Quote from: LearnedHand on February 12, 2013, 07:40:21 PM
I am not sure how long it takes to become infertile, but one of the transguys I've met has been on T for some years (not sure how many) and he's thinking of getting his eggs removed and frozen. He'll have to go on E for a bit to get them ready to be removed, but it's possible to still have your own biological kids with a surrogate mother.

I was thinking about this. But it would still require somebody else's sperm so it wouldn't be me and my partner's baby (unless I end up with a guy). I'm probably just moaning, but I'm just scared of this. I don't even know what I'm exactly afraid of.

Joey

Well, how many kids do you want? If in vitro works out well, your partner can be the surrogate with your eggs, and then have a sperm donor, then the next kid can be with her egg and a donor? But, you're young, be happy and carefree! The medical industry spends a ton of money every year figuring out new ways to make babies, it'll be more advanced and maybe even cheaper by the time you're ready to have kids.

I'd like at least 2, ideally 3. That's not a bad idea actually. That's true, I have years before I even need to think about kids, plus I need to find a partner first! Haha. I'm just getting ahead of myself, I just need to live in the moment.

Joey

I don't think it's moaning. You sound like you have a very real and reasonable concern. In the worst case scenario, you become infertile and decide you want kids. I'm sure the perfect one would be out there, waiting for you to adopt them. My aunt is infertile, and though her two sons may not have her DNA, they're most certainly hers. Any kid would be luck to have you as a dad.

And hey, it's not certain that you'll be infertile if you decide after you've already started T. If anything, think it over for a bit and come back to the decision when you're ready to. There's no big hurry for either, and you do have the option of having your eggs frozen for later use. Don't get overly worked up, though; you need a clear mind free of anxiety for big decisions.

Thanks man. That message made a lot of sense and gave me reassurance. I'm too young to be stressing over this. I'll give it a couple of years and come back to the idea.

Joey

Quote from: Joey4 on February 12, 2013, 08:58:12 PM
Thanks man. That message made a lot of sense and gave me reassurance. I'm too young to be stressing over this. I'll give it a couple of years and come back to the idea.

Joey

Hey, no problem. You're a wise kid and I have full faith that you'll make whatever choices are right for you. Keep your head up, brother.

I don't think you have anything to worry about at all. I've had this type of discussion with my girlfriend before so I thought I could help you out with some of the things I've found.

There's a lot of research being done with creating sperm and egg cells from the stem cells found in bone marrow. From what I understand, scientists are able take the stem cells from your bone marrow then artificially grow them into sperm and/or egg cells. Gender and infertility don't seem to be an issue either since the sperm and egg cells are artificially grown.

So far, scientists have experimented with this on mice and it's been successful. They've also been able to successfully create human cells so the next step is just implanting them and giving birth. Here's a short article about it: http://docinthemachine.com/allfemalebaby-2/ The article mentions that the experiment was already successful with male stem cells and scientists are currently working with female stem cells.

This means that sometime in the near future, you'll be able to have your own sperm cells artificially created then implanted into your partner so you can have your own biological children regardless of gender or infertility.

Quote from: Contravene on February 12, 2013, 09:51:33 PM
I don't think you have anything to worry about at all. I've had this type of discussion with my girlfriend before so I thought I could help you out with some of the things I've found.

There's a lot of research being done with creating sperm and egg cells from the stem cells found in bone marrow. From what I understand, scientists are able take the stem cells from your bone marrow then artificially grow them into sperm and/or egg cells. Gender and infertility don't seem to be an issue either since the sperm and egg cells are artificially grown.

So far, scientists have experimented with this on mice and it's been successful. They've also been able to successfully create human cells so the next step is just implanting them and giving birth. Here's a short article about it: http://docinthemachine.com/allfemalebaby-2/ The article mentions that the experiment was already successful with male stem cells and scientists are currently working with female stem cells.

This means that sometime in the near future, you'll be able to have your own sperm cells artificially created then implanted into your partner so you can have your own biological children regardless of gender or infertility.

This.

I've read up on that in the past but wouldn't the person only be able to have female babies? 


If you have a male relative then perhaps you could use their sperm to impregnate a partner?  That way, your genes will still be in there.

I agree with those who suggested harvesting your eggs before doing anything irreversible. But you've got plenty of time to think about this. I'm considering doing the same thing myself, even though mine are shrivelled-up, 41-year-old eggs and I've already had two kids. But I'd like to keep my options open.

It's also vital to me that my kids should be mine biologically so I understand where you're coming from there. Just please don't make the same mistake I did: I knew at age 19 that I wanted to transition but I put it off so that I could try marriage & kids to see if they'd help me feel like a 'woman' (obviously that didn't work). I don't regret getting married or having children, but I could've made more appropriate choices & still achieved my goals without having to remain female-bodied.

A bit loathe to bring him up, but wasn't Thomas Beattie on T for many years before popping out 3 babies?

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on February 13, 2013, 06:37:01 AM
A bit loathe to bring him up, but wasn't Thomas Beattie on T for many years before popping out 3 babies?

You're right; I seem to remember that too. If my memory serves, he started T in his 20s, then fell pregnant for the first time at around age 33.

Dunno whether that was typical or exceptional though, so it's probably best to discuss this with a doctor.

This has been an issue for me as well. I'm okay with adopting but I'd like to have a kid that's biologically mine. As I like men that means me and my partner could both have a biological child together. I considerd getting my eggs frozen, which I discussed with the doctors at the gender clinic, but I was informed eggs can't be preserved for that long. I think she said they can only be frozen 2-3 years, unlike sperm. I don't want kids for at least 10 years so I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. 

not to sound like a dick, but I think you should be happy that you got the posibilaty to adopt and have kids.
in my country its pretty much a choice whatever you want to have kids or get your gendermarked changed, and almost imposible to do both.
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You need a permission to be registered male and there very sceptical to do so.
*if you get pregnant theres a low risk to get this permission as they is sceptical of you using your female organs"
* in order to get permission you has to be sterilized which also will eliminate the posibilaty of getting pregnant 100% also they will destroy if your having eggs hidded somewhere in a bank.
* and beside that transexuals is list as a mental illness, which make adoption pretty rough, as people generally dont want "mental ill people" to adopt.

usunally those people who got permission have got children biologically in there past before they transitioned and then used alot of years to get permission, being castrated and all this..
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I think your worryes of adoption isnt that relevant. I had a couple of friends who has been adopted, or who have lost a parrent and found them years later. yes there curious and all this of there parrents, but they still love theres raised parrents as much as before. My own brother is also raised by my dad, and not by his biological father, he might be curious if he once saw his father but he dont have any bond to him as he havent raised him or spend time with him, this thing is more important than being biological or not.
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also I havent mention but if you have a girlfriend who wanted kids you could use sperm donation to get her pregnant, or you could be a stepdad for a famely your into or take care of other kids.

actually I might be a parrent this way as I am dating a guy with kids, and if we come together then I will tecnically be a stepdad.. abit wierd for me since im not even 20 O_O

Natkat, your government's policies suck in so many ways when it comes to trans people.

I'd like to put on my armchair anthropologist's hat to say that men have a tendency to prefer raising children who in some way resemble us. It's a deep, primitive instinct going back to ancient times and it's tied in to the fact that it's always been easier to prove who gave birth to a child than who provided the sperm. This instinct exists because humans spend an unusually long time and a lot of resources raising our young, so it's beneficial to make sure that any children you raise are actually your offspring and not some other guy's.

Some of us who have a strong, instinctive urge to have our own biological children might be responding to this instinct. Not everyone will be affected by it, of course. But I certainly am. It's always been important to me that I can see some of my features in my children so I know they're mine (even though I gave birth to them). YMMV.

Oh, and I have three biological brothers and an adopted sister.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on February 13, 2013, 08:51:13 AM
Natkat, your government's policies suck in so many ways when it comes to trans people.

I know and that's also why I'm probably sound like an a* for speaking, but the realety is some people can get kids biologically and some people can't, and somethimes you have to take some hard desions cause you can't get everything in the way you want it to be. I always think of it as, if you have an issue think of what you can do who could be posible, if your able to do something about it and thats best then do it, but if your not or you choose not to then you have to move on for that try to find a way to live with it.

we get that all the time. one of my mtf friend had cried over me cause she never going to get pregnant, she knows that, and she so much wish she could do it, but she has also accept the fact that even when thats not going to happent then she can get kids if she want by having a girlfriend who is pregnant. its posible for her, and even when she would die for a pregnacy she knows thats not to happent but if she got a kid she would be happy trying to focus on whats posible rather than whats imposible.

its not fair situations always,
but somethimes we cant change it so we just have to base our desions on what we got now, and what we can do.

Quote from: Natkat on February 13, 2013, 10:01:40 AM
its not fair situations always, but somethimes we cant change it so we just have to base our desions on what we got now, and what we can do.

So true. But I believe it's very important that governments keep their noses out of our private affairs. It's one thing to make such a decision for personal reasons, or to have it taken away from us due to medical misfortune... but it's unnecessary and cruel for a government to force such decisions on people.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on February 13, 2013, 10:33:29 AM
So true. But I believe it's very important that governments keep their noses out of our private affairs. It's one thing to make such a decision for personal reasons, or to have it taken away from us due to medical misfortune... but it's unnecessary and cruel for a government to force such decisions on people.

I agree with you on that, but its not always so simple or posible to just change the goverments view and laws, it something who takes time.