Long hair feminizes a masculine mandible. I pass fine with a pony tail as long as it drops below the mandible. But a good layering can go a long way. It may be that you're just getting looks because it's not in style. Over directed layering and point cutting are totally in right now.

This may seem a bit of a silly comment, but I think a very true one.

Don't worry about waiting until you are 'fully' passing or fully whatever before going full time - it won't happen.

You are setting your self up for failure.

Why won't it happen?

Because you keep bringing up the same doubt that stops it from happening: you don't accept yourself as being female and that means others will not.

I don't mean that rudely but it is the truth.

You will also face and suffer the problems of being misgendered. It happens. So what. If it worries you, it sets you back, if it doesn't it, doesn't matter.

You will also suffer the 'delusion' of being misgendered. That is, a casual comment will be interpreted by your worried psyche as being something it isn't.

I had one tonight, I could of sworn that the shop assistant said to me 'are all these yours sir?' as she served me. I didn't blink she didn't blink, the woman next to her didn't blink and I realised that I has heard something that wasn't said. There was no way anyone would call me sir in such a shop in Australia, and there are also bugger all Australian's who call anyone sir, and they aren't shop assistants.

I think that is what triggered this post; IMO your fears are stopping you and your fears are irrational, although seem real at this time.

Oh BTW why do I think I wasn't misgendered?  Well one I don't care. But secondly I had gone to the shop straight from a gym session, I was wearing a sport bra top, skin tight leggings (any inappropriate bulges would be very obvious). So anyone gendering me as male would be trying really hard to be stupid and if they are that stupid they are of no concern anyway.

So take heart. Go for it when you wish and don't put obstacles in front of you.

There are enough challenges without creating more!

Hugs Sisters

Cindy

Quote from: girl you look fierce on February 14, 2013, 04:27:17 AM
I don't really believe the confidence = passing thing tbh and I am kind of puzzled by why everyone says that.  I am so self-conscious every time I go out, I've stormed in high-end clothing boutiques, looked at 1 item, realized how self conscious I was after a brief "are you finding everything alright?" and had a panic attack and went right back out flustered and waving bye to the confused but kind sales people.  I've spent evenings out to dinner as a complete neurotic mess, terrified that even a single strand of my hair is out of place and everybody will know, gone shopping and been in my head the entire time, checking everybody's eyes for stares, completely obsessed with every little move I made, I've acted reserved and uncomfortable talking to someone one-on-one, and not once have I been misgendered...

Not that confidence wouldn't help someone, just personally passing for me is mostly in getting my makeup, hair and outfit right before I leave the house.  I just wanted to say it's not like people should worry that everyone's gonna know just because they're anxious or shy. 

Haven't you just answered your own question?

Quote from: girl you look fierce on February 14, 2013, 04:27:17 AM
I don't really believe the confidence = passing thing tbh and I am kind of puzzled by why everyone says that.  I am so self-conscious every time I go out, I've stormed in high-end clothing boutiques, looked at 1 item, realized how self conscious I was after a brief "are you finding everything alright?" and had a panic attack and went right back out flustered and waving bye to the confused but kind sales people.  I've spent evenings out to dinner as a complete neurotic mess, terrified that even a single strand of my hair is out of place and everybody will know, gone shopping and been in my head the entire time, checking everybody's eyes for stares, completely obsessed with every little move I made, I've acted reserved and uncomfortable talking to someone one-on-one, and not once have I been misgendered...

Not that confidence wouldn't help someone, just personally passing for me is mostly in getting my makeup, hair and outfit right before I leave the house.  I just wanted to say it's not like people should worry that everyone's gonna know just because they're anxious or shy. 

If you are dressed right, act right, talk right etc then physical looks become a much smaller part of the 'passing' equation.

Confidence is a big help, but I found that having 110% self acceptance of who and what you are to be just as important. I'm a woman - not a MTF, not a trans woman, just a woman.

Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on February 14, 2013, 05:03:36 AM

Confidence is a big help, but I found that having 110% self acceptance of who and what you are to be just as important. I'm a woman - not a MTF, not a trans woman, just a woman.

That is so true. I never had trouble passing but I was always on the edge and so scared people will notice anything out of the ordinary, till I started believe my self I was just a woman. It took almost a year after I went full time to believe I am nothing more or less than any other woman.