I wonder if anyone with bad dysphoria have had trouble keeping a grip on reality sometimes.

http://www.anxietysecrets.com/depersonalization-and-derealization.html

This is something I do when I need to get out of the dysphoria but becomes its own problem when I need to interact, get things done etc. and do or say things I don't mean to or just not being able to respond. Starting it is easier than stopping and sometimes I don't even notice when it starts. It's still better than the dysphoria though.

Interesting article. I have had feelings like that before. Today, especially was really bad for me. For the first time ever since starting my transition about 18 months ago, I totally and completely lost control. Nothing made sense to me. I started questioning myself, my motives and why I am walking this unknown path. Today, I did not walk this path. I felt as though if I was blundering down a road into the great big unknown. Reality seemed all twisted and unreal.

Maybe it was a panic attack due to stress. I honestly don't know. Maybe it was a case of depersonalization/derealization. I don't know.

Reading the article again made me think though. I'd love to hear someone else's perspective on this.

Huggs

Maegan

What is described in the article, is most likely something that I experienced at the age of twenty, when I realized, that I should have been born as a complete woman and that the body is incorrect. Not knowing anything about ->-bleeped-<- or not even realizing that gender and sexuality are two different thing, the realization led me to a really bad place.

Unfortunately the symptoms described in the article are also very close to psychosis (and schizophrenia) diagnoses, which was suspected the reason for my extreme anxiety, which wasn't relieved even with doses of tranquilizers that incapacitated me to such an end that I couldn't even raise my hand. Unfortunately no amount of drugs really ends brain functioning or stops your thoughts or the feeling itself.