Curious, I'm just beginning HRT (Yes, under a doctors care) and I am a bit on the scared side. Not of what it will do to me, but that I will love it too much. Has anyone gone on HRT with the idea of controlling GID, only to find they really really loved the changes – more than they thought?

I had my first female orgasm after a couple days on low dose E. Totally took me by surprise. An amazing feeling. You could definitely say that's a change I love, maybe a bit too much.

Oh my God, YES!!!

The very first day that I was on estrogen was seriously the best day of my entire life. I don't know what it did to the pleasure-receptors in my head, but for some reason I just got an absolute explosion of pleasure from EVERYTHING that I did that day. Food tasted better, music practically made me cry out in sheer delight because suddenly it was so beautiful, and every touch and every sensation just felt like the BEST thing ever! It felt like half of the pleasure-receptors in my brain had been shut off for my entire life, and were just now waking up for the first time.

That feeling only lasted a couple of days, but I still have gained something that I just never had before as a guy... mental clarity. It's a feeling that the thoughts in my head are finally right, and that I can finally, for the first time in my entire life, feel real joy, and real pleasure, and real sadness, and real pain. As a guy, I just felt emotionally brain-dead, like my mind just wasn't working. I felt pain, but never enough to cry. I felt joy, but it always felt muted. Whereas on estrogen, suddenly it is just working! It's like my mind, and the feelings that I get, finally belong to me for the first time in my entire life, and aren't filtered through the muting of testosterone.

I was not expecting these unbelievable mental changes. I was only really expecting the physical changes, slow and pretty much unnoticeable. But it did NOT happen that way. My mind just COMPLETELY changed when I started HRT. I had never felt like this before. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to feel like this. And that was the instant that I finally, for 100% sure, and not just based on theories and narratives and what-ifs, knew that I really was transgender. Because when I finally started taking estrogen, for the first time in my entire life, I finally felt like my mind was working right, and that my true self was finally allowed to be unleashed, freed from the mental prison that she'd been locked up in for 14 years before that.

So yeah... it really is an unbelievable experience. I'm not saying that you'll necessarily experience the same extreme highs that I have felt, but the possibility is definitely there. It's life-changing stuff. It's reached the point where I can't even imagine going back to the way my life was before.

Oh ya...

From what i've read, if you are right for it, Estrogen is amazing. I have even heard debate that it has addictive qualities. I can't wait. Even the little scared part of me is kinda getting excited.

Lets just say there is no going back for me because I don't think I could ever live without E.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on February 18, 2013, 09:34:25 PM
I really don't understand how people feel so many things when they take E maybe I'm weird but... it just changes your hormone levels a little... it is not magic.

Lol speak for yourself 

I don't really notice the Estrogen.  The Spiro I noticed emotionally.  But the changes E is bringing are very much a non event because it feels like a guessing game over is anything happening.  I spent like two weeks trying to figure out if I was beginning to develop or if I was just cold.  Happy news, I was beginning to develop.

There's relief, that's for sure.  I was out to eat on Sunday and I was looking at the girl sitting next to me and it struck me that my skin texture looked more like her's than different.  That was agreeable.  I like that I can be moved emotionally more easily.  Watching movies is a whole new experience!  That's pretty cool.

But "Do I like HRT more than I thought I would?"--  what I like is getting rid of the T.  The E was a big deal to get on and is very important to me.  Now that I have it, well I wouldn't give it up.  I'm thankful to be on it, but I guess I don't "like it" per se because I don't want to get my hopes up.  You know?  I mean, I'm a woman, I'm inundated by images of impossible beauty that I'm "supposed" to aspire to.  I don't even want to dream about what E might do for me, I just want to be thankful for what it does do.  So yeah, I'm more thankful for it than I thought I would be.

I am just as excited to see what the world looks like with out T blocking my view.

Absolutely yes! I don't know how made it through life before E. For the first time in my life everything feels right.

I have been on HRT for almost 5 years now, and the best way to describe it is ...

Before:
Male Me


running on "T"


After Orchie:


running on "E"

Quote from: Ms. OBrien VT on February 18, 2013, 09:47:00 PM
I have been on HRT for almost 5 years now, and the best way to describe it is ...

Before:
Male Me


running on "T"


After Orchie:


running on "E"

HA! I just have to say, that is absolutely AWESOME!!! Thanks for the laugh. And yeah, I really agree. Too true.

.

Cheetaking243
I have had exactly the same experience.  I can't imagine not taking E.  Even on a low dose life is much richer.   Physical changes have been welcome but the mental changes have been a real gift and blessing.  Strangely my dysphoria and my constant preoccupation with transitioning have just disappeared.  E has taken me to a good place that feels absolutely right for me - calm,sensate, empathetic and just happier.   I feel like I have come home and am now truly at peace.

I didn't start on it to just control my gid, I started on it to transition. It did what I expected for the most part with the bonus of almost completely eliminating headaches that I got regularly before I started. I pretty much only get a headache now if my e level is really low.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on February 18, 2013, 09:34:25 PM
I really don't understand how people feel so many things when they take E maybe I'm weird but... it just changes your hormone levels a little... it is not magic.

I was only able to be on low dose E for about six months before I had an unrelated medical problem, which caused HRT to be suspended.

But in those 6 months I changed.  Physically somewhat, but emotionally, a great deal.  Sometimes I describe it as learning how to "feel" again.  And it coincided with becoming a member here, and learning more about myself.

So it was not "magic," but it was therapeutic.

Yup oh' so much!

I was instantly calmer, more level headed and that feeling of pure relief - like finally its happening.
I was grumpy and dark as a boy, now I'm happy and smile lots

I can still remember when I first started take E. it wasnt an incredibly high dosage, but here is my account of how it was for me, My head was always a jumbled mess so many inadequicies(sp) and just pretty much a mess, 1-3 days in I noticed a overwelming calmness, and it jusst felt like my body/brain was given something it desperately needed, at 7-10 days my thoughts were no-longer a jumbled mess and I could very much explain my thoughts and feelings better. Everything became clear, and made me totally aware of who I was and what I needed to do, than at about 4 eeks my mom medled in my personal business and got the dr to take me off E and not prescribe it to me, I lost it and everything went way bad and my mom realised that was a bad idea,tried to get the dr to give it to me again, he wouldnt and at that point I decided I could never transistion where I was safely, and I ran away. and well here I am.

So yes it madee a very strong impact on me.

Quote from: girl you look fierce on February 18, 2013, 09:34:25 PM
I really don't understand how people feel so many things when they take E maybe I'm weird but... it just changes your hormone levels a little... it is not magic.

yeah um yes ?? ?

if i don't take pills for like a week i get cranky and dysthymic and have low energy but that's only because i don't have natural production of hormones anymore?
before srs i had pretty much no change if i forgot my pills.

After a week on Estrogen and testron blockers I got way more zen. Everything was cool and easy. I was totally expecting to be crazy and moody so the "one with the universe" thing was a unexpected surprise.

This got reinforced after I lost my job and I couldn't afford to go get blood work so I could re up on my prescriptions. I was off my pills for about a month and life was not fun at all! I was angry and annoyed at everything.  Then I got back on the pills and I was way better more happy, zen, etc.

So yes I did like it more then I thought I would.

Cant say I like it more than I thought I would.. But I do like it..