Ok, so I've been needing to get my hair cut recently. I usually go to a cheap(ish) unisex salon but I've been wanting to go to a barbershop for a proper men's haircut.

So on Friday lunchtime the barbershop near work looked quiet. The sign on the door said that it would be £8 for a men's dry cut (they also do ladies' hair on a couple of days of the week, but they charge women £10). I steeled myself, walked through a barbershop's door for the first time in my life and sat down on the bench to wait my turn.

About 2 mins later I was called, sat in an actual barber's chair and told the guy how I like my hair done. He got clipping away and to my delight he didn't start to chat about jobs, weather and kids like female hairdressers do. I felt fantastic, like I'm having my hair cut the way it always should've been cut and I've passed well enough to get a barber to do my hair. Even though I knew a barber would've spotted my complete lack of beard growth.

So he finishes off and I go to pay... and he says "that'll be £10 please, madam".

Ugh. Way to spoil what had, up till that point, been an wonderful, positive, life-affirming experience.

So I gritted my teeth, smiled at him and said "Dude, I'm not a lady". He got embarassed & apologised profusely. I said not to worry, I get it all the time. He changed the price to £8 and I went on my way.

Now I hope this doesn't put me off going there again. It's the nearest barbershop to work and I was planning to go there regularly. They also do shaves and I'd planned to go there for my first professional shave once that becomes necessary.

But this does prove to me that I've done absolutely everything in my power to pass as well as I can... I hope this improves once I'm on T.

That sounds awesome, I am glad you once again didn't allow someone to call you madam. 

Sorry it ended on a sour note, but I think you ought to take what you have and build on it. Next time go in and ask for a cut and a shave. I bet you get "sir" after that. If he says you don't need a shave, and I doubt he will, he wants your money, smile and tell him you trust his judgement, just a cut then, my man. Or say that the peach fuzz drives you crazy, and you want it off. Hugs, Devlyn

Good for you for having the courage to correct him.  You should go back without worrying about it - the worst that could have happened (mis-gendering) has happened and you got through it. enjoy your haircut!  new haircuts are great for confidence.

Hey, good on you for not letting him mis-gender you - it's one of the hardest things to stand up and do and I think that it's brilliant that you did it.

I still don't have the guts to go to a barbershop even though I pass 90% of the time, congrats 
Did he notice because of your hairline? That's what I'm worried about, because I still have a feminine hairline (3 mo on T only) and last time I went to a unisex salon the lady was like "that's weird, why does your hair grow like that...hmm..." but she called me he the entire time.

I think by the time you get even a bit of facial hair, no one will misgender you.

I hate getting my haircut and all the stuff that goes on.  Probably because I've always gone to a salon and they are full of chatty ladies (no offense, ladies!).  But I also hate going someplace new, too.  And I have no idea how I want my hair cut.  Just cut it! So I have been cutting it myself a home but it doesn't look that great (IMO) and I can't trim the neckline well.

I should just buck up and do it.

Do you tip barbers?  How do you ask for a standard men's cut?  While living as F I was obsessed with getting every hair just right etc and hated stylists who gave me some ridiculous 'do that I could never replicate at home.  Now, as just a regular Joe, I don't really give a sh*t about how my hair looks, LOL. which I should, as I  do work 1 day a week in a professional environment.

Jay

Thanks for the support, everyone!

I've decided I'm going to keep going back. I need to own my right to go to a barber; no more ladies' salons for me!

Quote from: BearGuy on February 17, 2013, 11:36:50 PM
Did he notice because of your hairline? That's what I'm worried about, because I still have a feminine hairline (3 mo on T only) and last time I went to a unisex salon the lady was like "that's weird, why does your hair grow like that...hmm..." but she called me he the entire time.

I think he clocked me because of my hairline, lack of facial hair (despite the fact that I'm going grey at the temples), and my ridiculous girly voice.

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 19, 2013, 09:01:06 AM
I hate getting my haircut and all the stuff that goes on.  Probably because I've always gone to a salon and they are full of chatty ladies (no offense, ladies!).  But I also hate going someplace new, too.  And I have no idea how I want my hair cut.  Just cut it! So I have been cutting it myself a home but it doesn't look that great (IMO) and I can't trim the neckline well.

I'm not a fan of the chatty ladies either. Especially since all they want to do is talk 'mumsy' stuff with me because I have children. My solution? I started out by going to a unisex salon that had a (very talented) gay male hairdresser. I booked an appointment with him, took him to one side and told him quietly that I'm trans & don't know how to get my hair cut.

He took me under his wing & gave me some brilliant advice. I now know how to ask for the hair around my ears to be trimmed; what clipper number I like at the back; and what to do with the top/front.

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 19, 2013, 09:01:06 AM
I should just buck up and do it.

Yup! 

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 19, 2013, 09:01:06 AM
Do you tip barbers? 

Depends on where you live. Tipping isn't common here in the UK; it probably is common where you live. Why not ask them whether they accept tips? Or keep an eye on the other clients while you wait for your turn. If they seem to leave a tip, you leave one too. Easy.

I didn't tip because a) I'm British, LOL and b) he called me 'madam'. No tip for you this time, sonny. Maybe next time.

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 19, 2013, 09:01:06 AM
How do you ask for a standard men's cut? 

Like so: http://www.ftmguide.org/haircuts.html

Quote from: sneakersjay on February 19, 2013, 09:01:06 AM
While living as F I was obsessed with getting every hair just right etc and hated stylists who gave me some ridiculous 'do that I could never replicate at home.  Now, as just a regular Joe, I don't really give a sh*t about how my hair looks, LOL. which I should, as I  do work 1 day a week in a professional environment.

Aah, the beauty of being a guy. You can get your hair cut neatly so all you need to do is wash it & towel-dry it without any further hassle. Of course, you can still get a ridiculous 'do if you want; some barbers will give you something funkier on request.

I go to a unisex place too. There really are a lot of guys who go there. I go to the same person and we talk about stuff like artificial intelligence. Anyway, I took her aside and told her I was trans. She is totally cool about this and has actually helped me with it. Figuring out what I might get away with when I am not coming out at work. One day we collected hair so I could play with mustaches and so on. She calls me "Jay" and changed me in the computer.

--Jay

Quote from: aleon515 on February 19, 2013, 10:34:38 AM
I go to a unisex place too. There really are a lot of guys who go there. I go to the same person and we talk about stuff like artificial intelligence. Anyway, I took her aside and told her I was trans. She is totally cool about this and has actually helped me with it. Figuring out what I might get away with when I am not coming out at work. One day we collected hair so I could play with mustaches and so on. She calls me "Jay" and changed me in the computer.

Sounds like you've found a good way to be comfortable with that particular stylist.

One of the benefits I have of living in a large city but working in a rather distant town is that I get a certain amount of anonymity. I tend to experiment with these new experiences in the small town where I work, so if anything doesn't go according to plan I have a nice, easy way to avoid going back there again.

That sounds awesome. Glad you corrected him and he apologized.

Quote from: FTMDiaries on February 19, 2013, 11:35:43 AM
Sounds like you've found a good way to be comfortable with that particular stylist.

I've seen one other person that I feel might be open there. But it is definitely just that one person. I think I'd like to go to barber in awhile. This person is leaving in a year or so.
Sounds about right, in a good outcome scenario.

--Jay