Ok I did not start feeling dysphoria about my gender identity until i was 25 going on 26. Before that I only occasionaly cross dressed and saw myself as a boy/young man, well mostly, just occasionaly i would think I didnt feel right.

It was not until the stress of a relationship and a 50 hour a week job and a taking care of someones house and heaping a bucketload of stress on me that changed me inside for good. I had loved this girl and she loved me but she was trying to control me and change me, I let her for a while. She wanted me to start growing a beard and riding motorcyles and wearing flannel shirts and act more like a man. I have always been very feminine and gentle so I think she didnt like that part deep down.

Anyways we broke up and I was heart torn and within a few days something snapped, I just all of the sudden saw myself as female, for the first time it felt normal and natural and pleasant, I even dressed in full femme clothing, didnt go anywhere but i stayed in the house I was watching. But eventually I did leave and made my 1st attempt at dealing with myself in 1997. Now its 2013 and well its been the same since then, with just periods of feeling ok as male, but not 100% happy about it.

So can stress or depression cause a trigger like that? Is it possible it just ignited something that was there all along?

Yes, it is possible that something could trigger you to discover what has been there all along. I have had a similar experience, almost everything you said I can relate to. I've never felt 100% happy with my gender role, I've always felt feminine, and I had an experience that revealed my dysphoria to me.

I suppose I could tell you my story and ramble on...but I think you're thinking something different than what you are actually asking.

So...

Are you feeling doubtful of your experience(s) or your transgender identity?

well you know i discovered I was also intersex last year, but i wanted to find out since 2000, but they would not pay for blood tests for that. My features are not atypical male as it were, and I have breasts and a micro penis, but even before all that, before 1997, before any of that I was content for the most part about myself.

I just feel so different now, when i look back I cannot even see myself as male anymore.

It can trigger GID,it did with me working a 55 hour week in a job I hated and coming home to a violent partner and getting trashed on alcohol weed and speed and still not blotting out GID.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on February 14, 2013, 03:03:24 PM
...before 1997, before any of that I was content for the most part about myself.

I just feel so different now, when i look back I cannot even see myself as male anymore.

Just content or actually happy?

To paraphrase Zinnia Jones, The pants (gender identity) don't need to chafe, they just need to be uncomfortable enough that you'll get a new pair.

It seems to me that gender is a fairly unconscious thing, the way that we try to fit into our assigned role IS a conscious decision. All in all, gender isn't always an easy thing to figure out.

If you don't mind one of the guys commenting. I  most certainly believe stress can trigger dysphoria. I also didn't experience it at some points of my life or as much during childhood until the stress of puberty hit. For awhile I put it out of my mind but as more stress piled on with knowing I wouldn't be able to transition at the pace I'd like, it got worse. I think it is also rather common to not know one is actually trans at a young age

QuoteJust content or actually happy?

Just content, never really 100% happy when i think back

QuoteJW did you get insurance to cover the gene sequencing in the end or was it out of pocket?

Well Insurance finally covered it in 2012, i had a karyotype and hormone tests and other blood work and pituitary gland tests. My endo even got me an mri to check me because my pituitary gland numbers were low.

I have high estrone and estrogen and low testosterone , and its been that way since i was 30 at least, never bothered to check it before. I was able to at least get a T test back in 2001

QuoteAre you feeling doubtful of your experience(s) or your transgender identity?

I'm only somewhat doubtful about transitioning all the way, but not doubtful about feeling more female than male.

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on February 14, 2013, 01:57:29 PM


just periods of feeling ok as male, but not 100% happy about it.

I always knew I wanted be a girl but until end of my teen years. I had periods about feeling ok as male. It was like one wild roller coaster ride. One minute I was ok as being male next minute I was depressed. for an example when I was playing sport I was thinking being a guy not so bad after all, but as soon as a girl joined us I was thinking "Gosh I want to be like her" then depression will start to kick in.  For me seeing a nicely dressed girl has being enough for trigger my emotions.

But I don't believe stress or anything other is triggering GID. I think it has been always their but stress and other things just made us realize what we really feel inside and what makes us feel comfortable and what is not. This is what I think, but I may be wrong. 

I don't think that stress triggers my dysphoria.  It's pretty much a constant.
What I've found is that stress affects my coping mechanisms.  All of the things I do to distract myself or feel better about the situation either fall to the wayside or simply become ineffective.  It isn't that stress makes me any more or less transgendered, but it tends to force me to think more about what my life has been and where I predict my life will go.  Neither are very happy thoughts.

Quote from: FullThrottleMalehem on February 14, 2013, 05:25:38 PM
If you don't mind one of the guys commenting. I  most certainly believe stress can trigger dysphoria. I also didn't experience it at some points of my life or as much during childhood until the stress of puberty hit.

In that case though, was it the stress or was it the fact that the puberty itself was going in a direction that was unwanted? Before puberty I could hear someone say things about how girls would be jealous of my haircolor and curl and think it was them who were mistaken, and that soon things would fix themselves. It was much easier to just feel that, with so little actual difference, others were just being dense, and things would work out.

There was an awful lot of stress associated with being in locker rooms. Around the time that puberty was beginning for me was also a time when I first wound up in locker rooms, scared out of my wits, feeling cheated and out of place and wishing I was on the other side of the gym (where the girls locker room was). That year's PE class was my only "D" in school ever, mainly because someone stole my gym clothes and I resisted replacing them.

(Don't mind your commenting at all, btw. I'm hoping I'm not making a nuisance myself when I jump into some of the FtM threads.)

Quote from: Shawn Sunshine on February 14, 2013, 05:57:08 PM
I'm only somewhat doubtful about transitioning all the way, but not doubtful about feeling more female than male.

Hey, as long as you know that you don't 'have' to transition Sunshine. They are many individuals that are just happy knowing that the don't fit the gender binary, and then they are others that are very happy living in the middle. There is no right or wrong path. Chose your own path and stick with it. These forums are always great for support when you need it.

Quote from: SunKat on February 14, 2013, 11:04:32 PM
I don't think that stress triggers my dysphoria.  It's pretty much a constant.
What I've found is that stress affects my coping mechanisms.

I can totally agree with this! 

My decision to transition happen in a time of my life when I pretty much lost it all. My ex-partner have moved out and interstate, my TV show was not moving in the way I'd envisioned. I'd taken a part time job that I hated, and I was all alone, unhappy and bloody miserable.
That's when the dysphoria really started to hit me. My coping mechanisms had being stressed too much, and now it was at the point of transition or suicide. Hell of a choice huh? Thank ( insert your god here ) I made the right decision... I've got a record of making bad choices!!!

Love

Jenny

My dysphoria didn't come around till 24.. I wanted to be female occasionally for a few years but I never thought I wasn't OK with being male, maybe because I always dismissed my desire to be female as a fantasy or a perversion and found ways to cope with it? Who knows..

My trigger I guess was my ex-girlfriend leaving me after 5 years and then I started to think about my life and started to find that being male was not appealing, started to think about transition and thats when I my gender dysphoria started.

So I guess certain things can trigger it..

I can say for sure in my case stress can be a trigger. The bigger the stressor the deeper self examination of your life, the deeper you get into a possible root cause, oft times GD. Stress comes in many forms and many levels. How you cope can come in many ways

Quote from: anya on February 14, 2013, 10:12:37 PM
I always knew I wanted be a girl but until end of my teen years. I had periods about feeling ok as male. It was like one wild roller coaster ride. One minute I was ok as being male next minute I was depressed. for an example when I was playing sport I was thinking being a guy not so bad after all, but as soon as a girl joined us I was thinking "Gosh I want to be like her" then depression will start to kick in.  For me seeing a nicely dressed girl has being enough for trigger my emotions.

But I don't believe stress or anything other is triggering GID. I think it has been always their but stress and other things just made us realize what we really feel inside and what makes us feel comfortable and what is not. This is what I think, but I may be wrong. 

Anya, I'm much like you in that I always wanted to be a girl, and the only times I didn't was racing motocross and playing basketball. In bed I felt like a lesbian with whomever I was with, and at 21 I started a ten year affair with a guy who wanted me as a woman and took me out as one. I've known from long ago I'm far more attracted to men and consider myself a heterosexual woman. I love women, but if one came on to me, I'm sure I'd end up comparing myself to her and asking for makeup tips and hair care! My mom thought I was intersexed because of the size of my penis and my early female behavior. In 2011, I had a chromosome test and my endo expected it to come out that I was intersexed. At sixteen though, once I told my parents I hated my body and wanted to be a girl, they sent me to a psychiatrist, who sent me back to my family doctor, who did a blood test. I was way over the norm for estrogen, and way under for testosterone and it shows in my facial features and lack of body hair. I had almost no body hair except over my lip until I broke my back in 2001. I had osteopenia, just below osteoporosis, and my doctor at the time had no idea I was trans and ordered testosterone shots. I didn't have the guts till '05, when I told him about being trans. Those four years gave me some facial hair, but fortunately, I wasn't on high enough a dose to make it really obvious. Another regret, I should have blurted it out, ''give me estrogen, I'm transsexual", but I didn't. In 1995 I went to prison and basketball kept my stress level manageable, then I broke my hand badly playing ball. I was already on the edge and within two days of breaking it I was shaving my legs and plucking my eyebrows, far from the first time in my life I did that, but it was the first time I actually lived as an out and out transsexual and I loved it. I found freedom and peace for the first time in my life, but before I got out I realized I didn't have the funds or any means to get hormones or clothes or have any other way to support myself other than becoming a transsexual call girl or streetwalker. I just couldn't do that. Anyway, we all have our horror stories. I'm sorry if I'm talking too much. Hugs, Mira

I hope you're happy now Miranda,you're story is inspiring and you look great.I had periods of being OK with being a guy where I was a girl chasing  hard drinking pool shooting bad ass biker.I had more relationships with women than men as I wasn't OK with being bisexual then.

Quote from: Miranda Elizabeth on February 20, 2013, 11:45:36 PM
I found freedom and peace for the first time in my life,

I think what ever we been through, in the end we all manage find peace with our selves and I think that is what matters the most.
BTW I don't think you talk much lol. 

For me what triggers intense dysphoria is thinking about it or thinking period. I have been well of this since I was five. I know that seems absurd, how can a 5 year old be aware of something as complicates as this but I was. I also knew society at large would shun me. I'm not sure if that is true anymore. Your story is a little atypical in that you say you didn't know until you were 24 when most people say they knew earlier, way before puberty. I'm not discounting you at all for figuring it out so late, so don't think that. But it sounds like you knew something was up because you had that gene sequence took. I didn't even know that was available commercially. Of course, I didn't realize I could transition until last year. I live in a major, liberal east coast city with plenty of TS resources so I should have known. I could have done something in 2007. I had the money. Now it's gone.

It isn't the time so much that pisses me off as i only look marginally older but the money. I also could have saved myself some pain. Hell I even had someone I could have lived with who would have been 100 percent supportive in every way. Know she won't talk to me for various reasons, mainly time and distance. I ask myself this. All other things being equal, if I could easily transition and my family would be A okay with it and I wouldn't lose work then would I do it? Without hesitation, every time my answer is yes. There is no doubt, if there were no obstacles and I could get SRS I would do it. And if you would have told me that at any other point in my life, I feel certain my answer would be yes as well. I think that is the best test for anyone on the fence. If you have doubts, maybe you should wait. Just my two cents, so before taking my advice consider that it did come from me. You'd do well to do the opposite lol

just to reaffirm the OP, I'm very confident stress can trigger dysphoria to come into full swing. That and the whole phenomenon isn't fully understood, so don't feel invalidated if somebody has an opposing opinion. just try to be open and observe as much as you can while on the fence.

Stress triggers for me most definitely. I become my most emotional/open at night so some nights I will feel great and others I feel the world is caving in on me. But when I am stressed that's mainly what triggers those bad nights.

I'll believe that stress causes it.  My lowest point last summer, right before I began really exploring myself, was right around the time I was preparing my new place to move in to.  There was so much to do, and my life falling apart around me didn't help!