I was thinking about the little things one of my parents (my mother, if you want to be gender specific) used to do when I was a small child till I was a teenager to both broaden my gender definition. I cant think of too many things she did to restrict my self definition. I cant remember before I was 4 years old so I dont know about that time period.

Did your family, friends, or parents ever want to change you and mold you into less androgynic, or did they help you to define your own self?

KK,

My dad forced me (and my sister for that matter) to conform to his standards after age 6.

My mom always accepted me and did not criticize me but she never could stand up to dad.

My sister always accepted me and remains a close friend.  She left home at 16.

I talked to my wife and she has been very angry.  I can appreciate her being angry.

My mom and my sister were very accepting of my differences.

I share very little of the stuff we share on this forum with anyone that "knows" me.

KK:

No, my parents were fairly accepting of all the people I've been over the years. I could even "blame" my mom for androgynizing me: I was always dressed in hand-me-downs and there were only guys older than me. She took me to the men's department for a lot of my clothing needs while growing up. I was encouraged to be a "strong woman."

-- Sue

At a very young age my dad began teaching me how to walk, talk, set and what ever else I need do to act like a man. No other way was acceptable.
I remember once when I was very young that he teased me for crossing my legs when I was sitting in a chair. He said I was acting like a girl.
I was able to play with my sister for awhile but when I became a teen that was frowned on. I just was right even for a big brother.
Jillieann

My mother: She is a construction worker and very "masculine" for a woman.  She also was faced, when I was a toddler, with the fact that Paul Bernardo, Canada's most infamous serial killer (who was raping young girls and killing them) was in my area.  She dressed me in boys' clothes and let me cut my hair short.  Once we moved away from the "city" she continued to dress me as a boy because she couldn't afford clothes for both me and my brother.  So she bought me boys' clothes and they got handed down to my brother.

My father: Oh dad, what would you say if you saw me now... He was convinced that I should live my life just as a southern debutante would.  I should wear dresses, sit quietly, learn "skills" for taking care of a house and learn perfect manners.  As a result of that, I can do needlework and sewing, I can bake anything and I know which glass to use at a multicourse dinner, along with which fork and exactly how many bites are "ladylike" to leave on the plate.  He browbeat me into growing out my hair. 

So yeah...

I was fortunate in that my immediate family didn't pressure me to conform, although no one knew that I felt the way I did about my gender. I also think that expectations of Jewish males are different,  I didn't have to act macho. I did feel societal pressure throughout my school years, however it also seemed like everyone around me knew I was a failure at the male role, and rather than trying to change me, just called me sissy or ->-bleeped-<-got, and I did my best to avoid getting beat up

zythyra

My dad is kind of oblivious, but not in a bad way. He's a big goofball. My mom is a very non-stereotypical woman. She's strong, outspoken, and opinionated. She believes that women can be- and are- just as strong and capable as men. Heck, she was one of the first women to be hired work in a warehouse moving boxes.

But they both look down on deviance. Transsexuals, crossdressers, gays... When they hear any stories about any of those, they roll their eyes and make remarks like, "Weirdos," "Knuckleheads," and so on.

I can get away with not being a stereotypical girl, but if I tell them about Him... They'll still love me, but I don't think they'll ever take me seriously again. They'll try to "fix" me, or pin it on my ADD or depression. I've come to realise that maybe the reason why I'm depressed is because I'm not allowed to be who I am.

They might accept me, in time. But it'll be a bumpy road.

Edit:

Quote from: Tay on June 10, 2007, 04:46:15 PM
My mother: She is a construction worker and very "masculine" for a woman.

Sounds like my mommy. 

I'm sorry about your situation. You are lucky, though, to have surrounded yourself with people who accept you and care about you.

My family will do anything they need to make me happy. However, for this privilege they also insist on knowing what makes me happy. Especially when they don't. They have a mental construct of me, unfortunately they will never listen to any me that is not this construct. Which puts me at an advantage, even if I don't do what they want, they will not notice it.