My family has a history of mental illness. My mother was borderline, my father is schizoid, my two cousins are bipolar and schizophrenic respectively, and my brother is an alcoholic. And I'm a boy! Hahaha, so yes, we have some very interesting family reunions... Ahem. When I was younger my school counselors told me I was depressed, or bipolar, or whatever flavour of the month, when I was really just schizoid like my father. (For those who aren't familiar, 'schizoid' kind of boils down to 'lack of emotion/inability to feel emotion' and 'preference to a solitary lifestyle'. Think Spock meets hermit.) So I avoid therapists like the crackpots I think they are, and I have successfully done so this entire transition.

But herein lies the rub. According to those who are in my immediate vicinity, since I started T, the schizoid side has gotten "out of control". Specifically, my roommate and his friends/family. He often complains that I'm completely cold, detached, I show no indicators of emotion at all, whine whine whine. It is clearly very troublesome to him, but he doesn't want me to move. He's doing everything in his power to make sure I can't move. This issue is apparently a problem because he has expressed interest in pursuing a "relationship" with me. (Pardon me while I snicker.)

I've tried to explain logically, but he stops listening when I 'go logic on him'. It's just more 'coldness' and he wants "emotion!" Once more, with feeling! Obviously, this doesn't affect me. It's the nature of the beast, and I'm quite content to be content by myself and just let them complain. But he keeps giving me the, 'something is wrong with you, you need to fix it' speech. Not very motivating, but he's hammered it into my head so much I'm starting to believe him. So, is it worth it? Am I really missing out? My father actively rebels against the idea of therapy, for either of us, and keeps saying I'm just like him, and he was never medicated or "therapy-d" and he's fine. Not only that, but emotional attachment seems really silly to me. Why would you willingly sign up for that I remember when I was a bit more emotional than I am now, and I don't miss it. I haven't cried once since T, I haven't gotten ruffled, or upset, or anything. It's awesome. But it's apparently not awesome to anyone around me, and I can't leave. So, should I sign up?

Or, better, is there anything I can say to this dude to get him to S.T.F.U?

is there any real downside to at least trying and seeing what happens ? look at it that way

Well, yeah, I don't want to have to spend money for someone to shrug at me and say "Nope, can't help ya kiddo, have a nice day." Ya know?

naw, here's the deal -

you're not weighing spending $120 or whatever it is for a session versus not spending that money at all

what you are really weighing is that someone who knows you and cares about you and sees you all the time, is telling you to get help, so it might be something sorta serious  versus the cost on a session

or this really isn't that big of a deal, your friend likes drama,  and that's  how it is and you're you and like it,  so don't go. no big deal.

I think that's the hardest part; Being able to tell is he's just a drama queen, or if it's an actual issue. I know I'm "happier" now, but he's just so darn persistent... But you phrasing it like that... I know he cares, but so does my Dad. And my Dad is all 'no we're totally normal', but the roomie's all 'you're broken'. And I can't tell who's telling the truth, or if they think they both are. I understand being part of society is being able to perceive emotion, but I have no drive to be a part of it. If I could find a cabin in the woods and a job from home, I'd get a dog and y'all would never see me again, hahaha! I don't know what I would gain from therapy, but I can see what I would lose.

I might have to just wait until someone else notices it. I don't really have any other friends... Honestly, I only have one. And she's out of state, but if she comments on it too, then I'll look into it. I might just research my options now, see if it can even be "fixed". Anf what 'fixing' would entail...

I think I can relate to this. I love the spock meets hermit analogy  My family is similar to yours regarding mental health issues. I've always resisted therapy because I don't feel like I need it.

I've had it drummed in to me my whole life that I need to make friends, be social, go out and meet people, do things in groups, socialise like normal people, there must be something wrong with me, blah blah blah whatever

In my opinion, if you are happy, then I wouldn't bother.

I am 100% satisfied with my life, I have my best friend - we only chat online, we are technically "real life" friends but she lives really far away and we both have toddlers so meeting up sessions are very few and far between. I have my partner, I have my daughter. I'm happy with that - I don't NEED a circle of friends. I am honest to god happy to get my social interactions on forums and stuff if I fancy a bit of human contact.

I've had my sister tell me she's really happy I'm finally going to college/uni because I'll be able to make some friends. My classmates are fine in small doses but I'm just there to learn, I would still be going if I was the only person in the class, I can't see myself keeping in contact with any of them once I graduate.

In the past I really really did try my absolute best to meet people and get a long with them, but it was so exhausting to me - I could keep up the smiling face and shoulder to cry on routine for a few months but then I just ended up snapping and telling them all how much they annoyed me and how I'm sorry but...you come to me with a problem, I gave you sound advice, you didn't take it, and now you're whining to me about the same issue, it's infuriating.

Less is definitely more when it comes to socialising for me, I'm just not interested.

I would go only if i thought I had a problem. you said your friend wants a relationship with you, so he's clearly not the most impartial judge out there. You seem to be happy now, so just keep an eye out on if you notice h yourself changing or if other people say you are, and then just evaluate whether therapy is something you want. Most people don't see a therapist if they're happy and feel fine. Perhaps you're friend just wants more "loving"emotions from you to satisfy his desires.

Of course, I am not there and have no real clue what's going on, so you could be completely nuts, but at least you're a happy crazy.

Quote from: Jeatyn on February 28, 2013, 06:10:23 AM
I've had it drummed in to me my whole life that I need to make friends, be social, go out and meet people, do things in groups, socialise like normal people, there must be something wrong with me, blah blah blah whatever

In my opinion, if you are happy, then I wouldn't bother.

I agree with this. There is a lot of social pressure to be social. It's like the idea that introverts are actually happy being introverts blows people's minds.

Quote from: LearnedHand on February 28, 2013, 09:07:11 AM
Perhaps you're friend just wants more "loving"emotions from you to satisfy his desires.

I also agree with this.
Does it interfere with your happiness and quality of life? Are you hurting yourself or others? (Being yourself doesn't count no matter how much people might want you to be someone else.) No? Then I don't see the problem.