well i'm glad you haven't but to counter you pessimistic nihlism, there is an optimistic brand. without a defined purpose, you're totally free to make your own. No god/people to actually damn you is quite a powerful little thing.

Re: OP

My mood swings continued pretty much as they were pre-HRT. Several differences:

1. I no longer have strong, repetitive suicide ideations. Used to be I'd have about 100/hour, visually repeating the final few seconds of a firearms-based event.

2. Such ideations/deep depressive state usually lasted 3-4 days. Horrible! Now they last about 2-3 hours (usually without any ideations), and I can mentally "fly" out of my Pit. Before HRT, it would literally be like slogging knee-deep through mud, dragging myself every inch of the way out of The Pit...now it's like I have Tinkerbell wings, or something. Even if my "feet" get caught in the mud, it's just a short struggle to get free again.

3. I get almost euphoric occasionally as I consider my situation, HRT-wise. Before, I never experienced "joy". As you put it, it's like I get an epiphany and get happy suddenly (or relatively so).



I wish the mood swings would lessen even more, but HRT has been a miracle for me.

Quote from: tomthom on March 01, 2013, 11:22:18 PM
...No god/people to actually damn you is quite a powerful little thing.

Clearly you've never met my mother 

Are you on finasteride?

The reason I ask is because I was very suicidal when I was on that particular drug. Once I ceased taking it I was much better by comparison.

Quote from: Snickerdoodle on March 02, 2013, 12:55:50 AM
Are you on finasteride?

The reason I ask is because I was very suicidal when I was on that particular drug. Once I ceased taking it I was much better by comparison.

No. From what I've read in these forums, Australian endos seem to do things differently to American endos, which is to start subjects on oestrogen first and anti-androgens later. My endo told me that starting with anti-androgens first is more likely to result in depression and suicidal thoughts, due to a lack or reduction of either oestrogen or testosterone.

Like I said, I'm naturally depressive yet quite stoic and good humoured, so I'm sure I'll be fine.

Quote from: Servalan on March 02, 2013, 02:35:28 AM
No. From what I've read in these forums, Australian endos seem to do things differently to American endos, which is to start subjects on oestrogen first and anti-androgens later.

My (American) doctor is doing this too, so I think it's just more individualized.