When someone says they relate to you, when they clearly cannot -_- Being transgender isn't like everything else. Oh, you're bi, well so am I, so you can relate to the fact that I'm bi, it doesn't relate to having gender dysphoria in the slightest at ALL. Oh, you're a feminist and believe I've had it easier than you still because I was born in the WRONG gendered body....yeah being a cis-gendered female is sooooo much harder, I would trade you in a heart beat.

Ok end rant, sorry, I'm just mad and annoyed if you couldn't notice       

im sorry you had such a rough day emma

*big hugs*

I've had friends say similar things, I know they were just trying to be compassionate. But they really can't relate or understand what it's like.

Omg x.x I know exactly how you feel! It's frustrating, it's not something most can really understand unless going through it themselves. I personally try to tell myself they are just trying to be empathetic and considerate, sometimes it's hard though >.<;

Emma, I feel similar to you on that type of statement. However, I think someone saying they relate to me is a lot better than someone saying "I know how you feel", or "I feel the same way". The fact is, no one knows exactly how you feel. Therefore they cannot feel the same way. They may have an idea of how you feel, and thus can feel similar to you, but not the same.

With that said, I also know that the above statements are used by others to try and comfort and validate you. It is tough at times, but I try and keep that in mind when I hear statements like that.

Yeah, I have experienced this too.

"Oh I know someone like you. They are a gay guy"

"You are so lucky that you can't get periods"

These are just two of the bits of "advice" (as they put it) given to me.

I just tell people to shut the hell up when they say this crap because it doesn't do anything to comfort me so they can just keep their stupid traps shut. I take more comfort these days when people say nothing rather than give me their moronic "wisdom".

Quote from: Snickerdoodle on March 04, 2013, 10:29:18 AM
Yeah, I have experienced this too.

"Oh I know someone like you. They are a gay guy"

"You are so lucky that you can't get periods"

These are just two of the bits of "advice" (as they put it) given to me.

I just tell people to shut the hell up when they say this crap because it doesn't do anything to comfort me so they can just keep their stupid traps shut. I take more comfort these days when people say nothing rather than give me their moronic "wisdom".

Seriously, I'm lucky because I don't have periods? ARE YOU serious right now? I also can't have children, and I have to deal with all of this transgender crap and I'm the one who is lucky even though you are most likely a cis-gendered female who is extremely privileged and telling me I have it lucky. As for the gay guy comment, it makes me wonder why I'm even friends with that person. Overall it's frustrating because others can not relate unless they are transitioning too. I had no idea how hard this was before I started and so I know they can't relate.

You guys need to step back and look at threw situation from their point of view. Are Trans people the same as gay people? No, but they also suffer from social ridicule.

Some people just want to try to say something nice, but it doesn't always get construed as nice. Being hyper sensitive and getting offended at every opportunity is not a good way to keep or make friends.

Use it as an educational opportunity and keep a level head and explain how you feel about what they said rather than throwing a fit because someone said something you don't like.

After all, not everybody deals with oodles of Trans people every day.

0.02

Agreed with hideyoshi. I don't get offended or feel ostracized because get don't understand, I simply make jokes of it and have fun while explaining it.

Seriously though this hypersensitivity seems to be running rampant through society an general and I really just has to stop. Calm down and develop a new perspective. Try and empathize with those who you somehow believe cannot empathize with you.

Quote from: Hideyoshi on March 06, 2013, 12:08:00 PM
Use it as an educational opportunity and keep a level head and explain how you feel about what they said rather than throwing a fit because someone said something you don't like.
0.02

Quote from: tomthom on March 06, 2013, 12:41:01 PM
Agreed with hideyoshi. I don't get offended or feel ostracized because get don't understand, I simply make jokes of it and have fun while explaining it.

Seriously though this hypersensitivity seems to be running rampant through society an general and I really just has to stop. Calm down and develop a new perspective. Try and empathize with those who you somehow believe cannot empathize with you.

Let me say first that in concept I agree with each of you to a certain degree. When I talk to people about being transgender I am very careful with every single thing I do say and I do look at their perspective and I assume that they know nothing about it, that way I go into with that educational mindset. After telling them tons of information after they have asked me a million questions, they may make a statement such as you can't have periods and you are lucky and I wish I could trade you. Comments like that are rude and insensitive of others because they are not accepting that transitioning is difficult when it clearly is but I don't openly express my annoyance with them, I just suggest other factors like the fact that I can't get pregnant. Next, you both have similar messages and are asking others to be open minded of others experiences and to be more considerate of that, but you're comments are a little back handed and I do not appreciate that at all. You jumped to conclusions and basically insinuated that I'm rude to people when they make an insensitive comment and that couldn't be farther from the truth. I'm always looking to teach others about what being transgender means and both of these comments are negative and are back handed. So although I agree with some of the concepts, I don't need to be told to develop a new perspective because you don't know how I interact with others about this in person, so take your own advice as well. Also, you shouldn't call someone hypersensitive if you're being dramatic like "Seems to be running rampant through society an general and I really just has to stop". I do get what you are saying to a point though. Overall, I wish I didn't have to waste 10 minutes of my time writing this, but I felt the need to because it was received as a personal attack on my character and I find that unacceptable because I am always trying to do things for others.

Being hypersensitive and stating the plain fact society is as such is not dramatic. The evidence is abundant. And I am not being backhanded, simply stating what i see in terms of your handling of people making somewhat careless comments. Yes our situation is difficult, but I'm sure that when we say "they should be grateful for this x and that x" they can just as easily be offended that we dot have all the same limitations as a cisperson.

A basis for comparison is necessary before stating that suchandsuch-A is better off, or worse off, than suchandsuch-B... and since there is no standardized method for choosing what a person compares themselves to, the degree to which  A & B are disparate can vary wildly.

It's difficult to avoid... and we all do it, I s'pose; but just being ourselves - irrelevant of how much others can relate, or not - comes with greater peace of mind.

"It" is: suggesting otherwise is to say "it" isn't.

Quote from: tomthom on March 06, 2013, 02:06:03 PM
Being hypersensitive and stating the plain fact society is as such is not dramatic. The evidence is abundant. And I am not being backhanded, simply stating what i see in terms of your handling of people making somewhat careless comments. Yes our situation is difficult, but I'm sure that when we say "they should be grateful for this x and that x" they can just as easily be offended that we dot have all the same limitations as a cisperson.

A plain fact?, something that can be debated whether true or not is not a fact, you seem smart enough to understand that. No you are being dramatic, and "handling of people"? You insult the way I treat others and you use terms like people are disposable or something. It's also none of your business how I "handle" people in my life but every person I have "handled" so far strongly supports me which shows how I treat the people in my life. Do not question who I am as a person, that is none of your concern at all.