I cant believe it but last night I finally found the courage, bit the bullet and came out to my Mum about my gender dysphoria and that I want to transition!!
She took it well! There was a little pause when I first told her, I had talked to her previously about "a friend of mine" who had some gender issues and Mum just said to me "So it was you you were talking about!", I then went through it all with her and we spent the next 4 hours just talking about it all (not to mention a couple of glasses of champagne!).
I just feel so relaxed and free having told her! I feel really guilty that I haven't told anyone else in the family and she really wants me to take a trip and come out to the rest of my family and take the time to do it properly and not just a letter or phone call (which I agree could be really bad).
The only two things she said that upset her at all are that one, I didn't tell her earlier in my life (ie. when I was in my teens and having a horrible time at school etc.), to which I replied that I didn't really know exactly what it was back then that was making me so upset and confused and secondly she is afraid for me and the big bad world out there (ie. discrimination and all those other fun things that scare the hell out of me too). She is my Mum and I can totally understand that she only wants me to be safe and happy but I did explain to her that how I feel now and how I have felt for a long time is that I am only putting up a front to which I have been made to think is acceptable by society. He is not how I feel and I don't have the freedom to be myself presenting as him.
It is a lot for her to take in because quite frankly she had no idea, the questions of "how important is it to you that you appear feminine?" and "Would it be enough to be able to just keep it at home?" did come up and I am not offended by them.
Like I said, this is all new to her on a personal level and she only wants to protect me from the horrors of the world (basically the dangerous psycho's out there that would want to do us harm because we don't fit their idea of what people are and should be) but already within a short time she is coming to realise that I am not jumping to conclusions and that this is how I feel, not how I chose to feel, that this is me and that I have come to the decision that "acting" is not enough for me (rather I've had enough of acting not as me for so long!).
Just wanted to post it because I am so absolutely blown away by how she handled it (and myself too! I didn't chicken out! hahahaha) and wanted to share it with everyone.
Next step is to tell my Dad, brothers and best friend. Sooner rather than later.
Wish me luck!
