my now ex mentioned that when she sees cis guys she imagines them as trans guys and finds them attractive. she asked me what i thought and i dont know how i feel about it.

what do you guys think about it?

Sounds like she has issues.

is your ex a lesbian?

*shrug* everyone's into different stuff, and some people will be turned on by the trans thing. Everything under the sun can be a turn on. And I had exes who liked and got off on the butch/masculine thing, it's pretty common for lesbians, especially femme-y ones. Not to stereotype anyone  So it doesn't seem that unusual to me

Quote from: krakenshay on March 04, 2013, 09:19:09 PM
my now ex mentioned that when she sees cis guys she imagines them as trans guys and finds them attractive. she asked me what i thought and i dont know how i feel about it.

what do you guys think about it?

your ex wants to sleep with you again

that is what it means

When I first met me gf nine years ago she was femme and dating a cis guy.

Fast forward and now she is butch and only finds trans people attractive.

Point is people change as do who they're attracted to. Sounds like you did something right if she only finds cis males attractive by imagining they're trans, lol.

LOL I have done that somethimes as well.

going to GLBT meetins or queer place with alot of transpeople I somethimes find people and are like..
"daim his pretty hot.. how long have he been on T?"
"dude thats a cisguy".
XD

cant blame her transfolks are manly too hot to be true

Quote from: anibioman on March 04, 2013, 09:37:21 PM
is your ex a lesbian?

yes

to clarify we broke up like a week ago, so yes she still wants to sleep with me but thats not the point. lol.

I guess i just wanted to see if this was fetishizing or if its just attraction.

Quote from: Simon on March 05, 2013, 01:09:26 AM
When I first met me gf nine years ago she was femme and dating a cis guy.

Fast forward and now she is butch and only finds trans people attractive.

Point is people change as do who they're attracted to. Sounds like you did something right if she only finds cis males attractive by imagining they're trans, lol.

my ex's ex transitioned after they broke up and she told me that she wouldnt have been with him if he transitioned during their relationship and came around to it for me, then thats when she started imagining cis gusy as trans guys so that she could find them attractive... shes cis lesbian femme

Quote from: krakenshay on March 05, 2013, 11:22:23 AM
yes

to clarify we broke up like a week ago, so yes she still wants to sleep with me but thats not the point. lol.

I guess i just wanted to see if this was fetishizing or if its just attraction.

Well then we come to the main question whatever liking transpeople over cisgenders is a fetish or a preference?
---
got to think of something funny,
somethimes when I watch porn I actually try to imaginete one of the actors to be trans.
I feel theres really too little trans/queer porn and those who are are either hard to find, or something you need to pay for. so somethimes it just more easy trying to find a person who looks abit androgynes and try to imagine the rest of the details.

Everyones attracted to something different I guess, but it's weird to me that she's only attracted to guys if she imagines them as 'trans'....In my opinion that's a bit 'fetishized' to me.if she attracted to men wouldn't she be bi and not a lesbian?. But sexuality is so broad spectrum anyway, so toeach their own.

Quote from: Simon on March 05, 2013, 01:09:26 AM
Sounds like you did something right if she only finds cis males attractive by imagining they're trans.

In what way is it doing something right to be the reason someone fetishizes trans people?

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on March 05, 2013, 03:26:24 PM
In what way is it doing something right to be the reason someone fetishizes trans people?

that's my question too. I dont think this is something to be proud of. I am genuinely trying to understand and see how prevalent a thing this is.

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on March 05, 2013, 03:26:24 PM
In what way is it doing something right to be the reason someone fetishizes trans people?

In what way is it wrong? Maybe that's not what you meant.

I took that as kind of joking in tone. You know, like "You're doing something right" if you're a guy and you can 'turn' a straight man gay, or vise versa. Not that orientation is necessarily the key here. If dating a transperson made someone decide that's all they ever wanted again, I'd think a little credit should go to said transperson. It's a matter of personal choice, sure; but kudos, definitely.

I don't think people wanting to date people just because they are trans is right or good.  Frankly I think it's gross, dehumanizing, and invalidating. 

If you want to date a person solely because they're transgender, then I agree, that's a little wacky. But if you're slightly more attracted to them than other people just for the fact they happen to be transgender, I don't see a problem with that. Everyone has their kinks.

Quote from: democration on March 05, 2013, 08:04:07 PM
If you want to date a person solely because they're transgender, then I agree, that's a little wacky. But if you're slightly more attracted to them than other people just for the fact they happen to be transgender, I don't see a problem with that. Everyone has their kinks.

Wanting to date only trans people is the same as seeking someone out solely because they are trans.

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on March 05, 2013, 08:13:31 PM
Wanting to date only trans people is the same as seeking someone out solely because they are trans.

I'm not disagreeing with you on that, and I see where you're coming from. Personally, though, I don't see it as being any different than a person wanting to only date a man, or only date a woman; or even just wanting to date skinny folks, or husky ones, or people with blue eyes. Is it shallow? Yeah, probably-- but I wouldn't say it was wrong.

Edit: To be clear, I didn't mean to make it sound like having an orientation is shallow!

Quote from: democration on March 05, 2013, 08:23:52 PM
Personally, though, I don't see it as being any different than a person wanting to only date a man, or only date a woman

Edit: To be clear, I didn't mean to make it sound like having an orientation is shallow!

Trans people are men and women.
I think you mean preference and not orientation.

Quote from: wheat thins are delicious on March 05, 2013, 09:17:58 PM
Trans people are men and women.
I think you mean preference and not orientation.

No, I meant orientation. I don't think it's shallow to be exclusively attracted to men or to women.

If you're exclusively attracted to men and happen to have a particular fondness for transmen, what's the big deal? I see it as similar to liking a man for, say, having a beard. He's still a man, but he's got certain attributes that are more appealing to you than a man without a beard. Does that make sense?