"And I Do Mean All My Life": A Trans* Coming Out Letter
Posted by Sarah Szabo
on March 8, 2013

http://www.autostraddle.com/and-i-do-mean-all-my-life-a-trans-coming-out-letter-160349/

"My name is Sarah Szabo, and I'm a twenty-two year old transsexual," goes a sentence that, not five years ago, I never thought I'd ever say.

For transgender people, the closet isn't so much a place you hide in as a jail you're stuck inside. It's not just that you can't have the life experiences you want—your hormones feel wrong, your body looks wrong, your clothes hang wrong, and you hate your haircut. It's like there's another You in you, and if you're closeted, your biggest wish for the longest time is that they'll simply go away. If you're ostensibly a straight man, like I was, you feel a little like a Dr. Jekyll-type doing your very best to snuff out a persistent and annoyingly ->-bleeped-<-gy Mr. Hyde.

This isn't to belittle the experience of gays and lesbians, who historically have been subjected to just as much persecution and misunderstanding as a people could possibly be. But a distinction between the gay experience and the trans experience needs to be made clear, especially in the modern West, where many transsexuals, myself particularly, often feel marginalized, even in social contexts that are ostensibly their safe places. The LGB(t) community, if you will.

The biggest difference today between the coming-outs of homosexuals and transsexuals is that only the latter group still feels an overwhelming pressure to explain themselves. While being gay isn't easy, the definition is—"two men or two women in love." No such luxury for the young transgender kid, terrified out of their mind and facing questions from all sides, with barely the bravery to answer.
....
This letter is now for those whose journeys are still beginning. I was stuck in the closet once—here's what I used to break out...

QuoteThis is the part where I want to make clear that this is not a choice. I am not deciding to become a girl. This is me allowing myself to be who I am, and it is the only route that I can take...

This is my story, and I'm going to write myself the way I want to be.

That's a very touching letter, i had pretty much the same worries and fears and i also thought that i would never come out ( just to avoid the whole social pressure). the situation she describes ,when telling her parents, might as well be based of my own experience. that made this letter create an even more emotional moment when reading it. I definitely think this letter can help other people get courage to win from their fears and make a change towards the life they want to have in stead of staying in the life where they fear the change.

A very definite two hanky tear job.  It is the story of almost all of our lives, and it is so very true. 

Four million copies of this sent to the people who despise us and feel we are fakes, would be only a good start. 

Indeed, indeed, who would choose our lives?  Who would choose them???