This isn't necessarily trans-related, but we tend to have been through a lot of rough things in our lives, so I thought it might apply to a lot of you.  I feel older than my actual age, and I put it down to having been through a lot more emotionally in my life than most people my age.  Most teenagers don't think about the grief they would cause people if they were to commit suicide and have to make a conscious decision to fight that everyday to protect the people who might blame themselves (I'm in a better place these days though), or have to choose between living with dysphoria and potentially losing their families and loved ones, they don't have to think about gender and society quite as much as us trans people do either.  I feel that living with depression for a long time and being trans has aged me.

Its not just me who thinks that I'm older either, my girlfriend is always shocked when I have to remind her of my actual age because she always has it in her head that I'm a year or two older than I actually am, which is quite a feat considering that I look 14 at the most.  I don't relate to people my age very well either, I only go out of my way to talk to one person my own age and that's because we had a mutual friend in the first place, the other two people I talk to are my girlfriend (20) and a guy from college (21).  Everyone else I talk to is 30-50 and are colleagues/customers, and I would much rather talk to those than people my age.

Do you find that having to deal with being trans/any other issues has aged you mentally at all?  I find it particularly interesting to think of in our case as we're generally perceived as being younger than we are.

Yeah I feel older than I am, and I can't really relate to most people my age. Most of my friends are in their 30s or above.

It's probably from trans issues, since I did have bouts of depression when I was younger and felt suicidal sometimes, and also my husband really drove me crazy where sometimes I'd think of jumping off the roof of the building that I worked security at or driving my car super fast and aiming it at a jersey barrier, but I couldn't since I knew I had too much responsibilities and by killing myself other people would suffer. Arg, I am too darn nice.

I think I also feel older since I have a ton of younger siblings and my parents did foster care (had over 20 kids) and my older sister and I were always stuck babysitting, sometimes for 9+ hours everyday, even when we were really young and probably most kids the same age would've had a babysitter themselves. All the babysitting I think really aged me, and I have a friend who was in the same situation (though it was her like 5 or 6 young nieces she'd always watch) and she's kind of old too for our age. 

And now that my mom's dead, I am stuck at home basically babysitting teenagers and my neice who's just shy of being 2 years old, doing the grocery shopping, cleaning house, making dinner, doing my dad's bookkeeping... lol, only going to school keeps me from feeling like a housewife. 

I feel a lot older than I am, and since I hit my teenage years and everything went downhill, everyone else agreed. People are shocked when they learn my real age and everyone says I sound older than I am. I think I'm much older than I am, I have to remind myself of my real age sometimes. For me this is because of separate issues from being trans, but I suppose being trans has had an effect as well. I've had a lot to deal with and I had to grow up before my time, so I'm now too mature for my age. I get on 10 times better with the teachers in my school rather than my students. I've been out on day trips with some of them during the holidays, I baby sit for another teacher and another teacher said if I wasn't his student he'd see us being good friends. I don't get on well with people my age, and I prefer to speak to older people. It's hard to explain but yeah, I feel a lot older than I am, and once I hit 18 I'm going to be making a lot of changes because people can't treat me like a kid anymore.

Joey

absulutly.

I often hear transpeople saying they feel wierd about there age cause of the whole trans thing I do as well.

in one hand I feel like a teeneger, around 15-16 or something. its now im passing, im able to go to the beach, and to focus on education insteed of "a matter or life or death depression or trans related stuff being extremly difficult" so I just started living a more typical teen life and feeling abit younger and less mature cause most of my friends started those kind of things around 14.

but for most parts I do feel older than I am, I still looks younger than my age around 16, but specially people online usunally say I sound alot older than my actual age.
I belive its from experience that you grow and being trans thinking big questions of life and death, losing famely, political fights, and all kind of stuff can diffently put some gray hairs in your head.
I try to fake it pretend im young but really im an old man trapped in a young body.. -__- ohh...

I remember when I where in school in 9 grade or something, we had about religion, like philosophy kind of theam.
he said something about that it was mostly older people who was being religious and it was because that older people generally thought more about the big questions like life and death, while young people focused on there friends, education, and all those things.
I felt very disconnected cause in that period I couldnt focus on my school and most of my focus where about life and death. I spoke to my teacher about the whole trans thing and he said sure I had other experience than my classmates so I didnt fit the age category the same way as they did.

I'm about ten years older in my head than I actually am due to living situations when I was younger, which was the youngest people around me were all that much older than me and I sort of grew up into that. Funnily enough, someone did ask if I was my relative's brother. Said relative is like 38 or something. 

I was never able to relate to anyone whatsoever in high school. I felt like a paedophile actually, all these dang kids.

I actually feel about five years younger

when I was younger, I always felt much older.  It peaked at around age 25 though.  I'm 28 and some of my immediate peers are full fledged adults with mortgages, families etc. I am nothing like them, and I have no desire for it.  It is strange to witness friends descend into responsibility.

I feel younger than I am mostly because I look so much younger and everyone treats me younger.  When I'm walking around a store with my parents, I move and act like I'm about 15 because that's about the age at which I pass and sometimes feel about that age just from acting that way so much.  When I'm with my friends, all of whom are college age, I feel like I can act about 20-21.  I very rarely act like I'm 26, although, judging by my 26-year-old friends' Facebook statuses, 26-year-olds may just act like teenagers...  So maybe I'm right on track...  The fact that I live with my mom certainly doesn't help.  Even if I do help her with bills and stuff.

When I wake up in the morning and my bones ache like hell, I feel 75.
When I go to school, I feel 12 or so.
When I give up, I start out feeling like I'm in my mid-twenties, and age both forwards and backwards at the same time.
When I am in all-knowing advice-giving mode, I feel old and wizened, maybe reaching 100.
When I am in a screaming fight, I feel like a 10 year old acting older than he is.
When I cry, I feel 6 or 7.
When I'm excited about something, I feel 3.

But when I'm truly content and everything is going right, I feel ageless and maybe even a bit immortal.

Due to the nature of this thread, I feel compelled to post a reminder.

Quote from: Not-so Fat Admin on July 10, 2009, 06:12:01 PM
Minors are discouraged from posting their ages on the public forums and any posts referencing the age of a minor user (under 18) will be edited out. This goes for personal profiles as well.
Please take this into consideration when asking someone's age.
Thank you.

I feel conflicted about my age too. On one hand, I am an old soul. I've had to take care of myself and I've been through a lot that most my age wouldn't have gone through. It's given me a maturity that allowed to me to act and think more like an adult, which my friends and family both admired and felt concerned about. On the other hand, a part of me feels like I haven't aged a day past 9. That was around the age where I consciously started acting differently than myself, and put on my mask so to speak. I think that can't be good for anyone's psychosocial develepment. If you don't get a chance to openly and without shame explore your personality, how can you grow up? I think a lot of us are like cookies that got put into an oven that's too hot. We burned to a crisp on the outside, but we're still young unbaked dough on the inside

Objectively, we do grow up, because we have to. Usually much sooner than anyone our age. But it seems to have left me with this feeling of childishness deep down that's hard to shake.

I'm 31 but feel closer to 40 or so. I think it's a mixture of being a cancer patient since I was 25 and growing up around adults. The majority of the people I get along with are older. I don't care to go out to clubs, hang out, drink, or whatever. I'm much happier hanging around the house.

If I ever met any of you I'd probably suggest going fishing. In person I also don't talk very much (believe it or not), lol.

I've always been a geezer. I was having logic battles and reading LOTR and the odyssey when I was in my single digits. that and during highschool freshman yar I refused to be with anyone but seniors. everybody else wasn't ambitious or educated enough.

Quote from: AlexanderC on March 09, 2013, 06:25:53 PM

Do you find that having to deal with being trans/any other issues has aged you mentally at all? 

I feel like I'm 67.  My father usually tells me that "I haven't lived yet", but I feel the opposite.  I'm surprised that I don't have grey hair yet.

I'm totally one of those "age is just a number" people and much like Liminal Stranger I feel different ages at different times and situations.

I don't look near my actual age (I've had people think anywhere from 10-20 years younger than I am ... and I'm not on hormones) and I don't really feel my actual age. I'd say I feel maybe in my 20s most of the time. I honestly can't believe I'm as old as I am. And I've had a lot of hardcore life experiences, I guess I just decided somewhere along the line that I never really wanted to "grow up" the way everyone else did. So much like other things in my life, I did that my way too. I think I'm actually quite adept at playing the role of adult, but in many ways it is just a role.

age is but a number its also approximate life experience. im stunted when it comes to being a teen and having those types of experiences but i have more experience with emotional stressors then those my age.

much older. always related better to people older than me. had adult conversations/friends since age of 6. my peers seem like a different species a good portion of the time. my therapist said I was about 40 haha

Mentally I feel older than I am, but I also feel younger. I guess it just feels like time is going by really quickly.

Quote from: Natkat on March 09, 2013, 06:46:05 PM
in one hand I feel like a teeneger, around 15-16 or something. its now im passing, im able to go to the beach, and to focus on education insteed of "a matter or life or death depression or trans related stuff being extremly difficult" so I just started living a more typical teen life and feeling abit younger and less mature cause most of my friends started those kind of things around 14.

but for most parts I do feel older than I am, I still looks younger than my age around 16, but specially people online usunally say I sound alot older than my actual age.
I belive its from experience that you grow and being trans thinking big questions of life and death, losing famely, political fights, and all kind of stuff can diffently put some gray hairs in your head.
I try to fake it pretend im young but really im an old man trapped in a young body.. -__- ohh...

I can relate to this. Since I started to pass I feel like I'm growing up again. Before that time I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, I always slept and lived like a grandpa    Now I can focus on my education, go out with friends and doing all the stuff people my age do. Mentally, people usually think I'm older, probably because of what Natkat said.

i feel like transitioning has made me older, but not in a standard way. it's opened my eyes to other people's suffrage and has helped me evaluate things more deeply than people my age. with that being said, i know a lot of older people who can't do that as well, so i can't really pin it on any age group. maybe it has more to do with experience than age.

at the same time, i can barely fold towels or unload the dishwasher without messing up. so i can't be that old 

I'm 22 but i look like im 12 literally and it doesn't help that im only 5'3". My younger brother is only 19 , has a full beard and is 6'. I get treated differently by my parents because he looked older and guys can get away with more ->-bleeped-<-. When i was 19 i wasn't allowed to have beer in the house or drink. He gets to stock up on beer down stairs and even drinks mine. I know i'm 22 but when im with my brothers(19,23,27 year old brothers, all 6') i dont feel my age....ya know

- Landen Scott