So Wednesday (or to be entirely accurate 17:30 GMT on Tuesday-when I leave work) I won't have to pretend male anymore. The gender specialist insisted on it, the company I work for are very supportive of it and I am looking forwards to it.
The last bit of the above is what would have surprised me up until about 3 months ago. I thought it would be absolutely impossible until I had some HRT at least to stop me from being so glaringly, obviously male but, as has been noted on here lots of times, that turned out to be a problem with my thinking rather than a problem. I think the first prod in the right direction was when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought "pretty lady" rather than "ugh, look at that nose, those shoulders and the tiny lips".
So, if you're struggling towards being ready, then I advise you to relax and just keep pointing in the right direction. Do buy the top that makes you look lovely, do try out that colour that you swear you will get away with and do not believe that you must do 'x' first.
Love,
R