Wow, I didn't expect this thread to take off like this! I appreciate all the replies, both serious and light-hearted.

I'm starting to feel better about everything, both thanks to all you wonderful people and due to events in my life. It still scares me to see that I'm not a little kid anymore, but I'm starting to feel comfortable at the age I'm at.

One thing I was/am really afraid of is getting 'behind,' so to speak. I haven't followed the same life trajectory as a lot of people I knew in high school (they're now graduating from four-year institutions and some of them are getting engaged), but lately I've been spending more time with my friends who didn't follow that path, and are doing well for themselves, and are happy. And soon I might have a full-time job, and an apartment with a couple of those friends. Part of my comfort is that I'm getting closer to where I think a 21-year-old 'should' be, but most of it is that this is what's good and what works for me.

I don't know if that has anything to do with anything.

But thank you all. I hope that I'm as awesome as you guys when I'm y'all's age.

Quote from: Cain on March 06, 2013, 12:57:52 PM
Wow, I didn't expect this thread to take off like this! I appreciate all the replies, both serious and light-hearted.

I'm starting to feel better about everything, both thanks to all you wonderful people and due to events in my life. It still scares me to see that I'm not a little kid anymore, but I'm starting to feel comfortable at the age I'm at.

One thing I was/am really afraid of is getting 'behind,' so to speak. I haven't followed the same life trajectory as a lot of people I knew in high school (they're now graduating from four-year institutions and some of them are getting engaged), but lately I've been spending more time with my friends who didn't follow that path, and are doing well for themselves, and are happy. And soon I might have a full-time job, and an apartment with a couple of those friends. Part of my comfort is that I'm getting closer to where I think a 21-year-old 'should' be, but most of it is that this is what's good and what works for me.

I don't know if that has anything to do with anything.

But thank you all. I hope that I'm as awesome as you guys when I'm y'all's age.

Happiness comes from within not from any external source, it's a matter of being at peace with one's self and comfortable in your own skin. Sounds like you're getting on top of that concept!

Quote from: Cain on January 19, 2013, 12:04:00 PM
A post by Jeatyn in a thread in the FtM section got me to thinking. This is going to be another of my ramble-posts, and it's going to be very disjointed.

I've always been afraid of growing old, and I've never really been able to put a finger on why. I don't have any concrete long-term goals. I feel like an overgrown kid in a body that's running away from me.

I never thought that this might have something to do with my gender, but I suppose it might. I'm an adult, but I'm not a man or a woman, and in society there's not really another option. It's easier to be queer and gender-nonconforming as a youth, I feel. There's more space for weirdness when you're young. I mean, I'm still very young, but I feel that as I'm entering the realm of careers and resumes and job interviews, there's less and less room for my buzz cuts and skinny pants and all the queer nuances of my presentation that make me happy.

When one thinks of old people, one thinks of little old ladies and men. I'm not either of those (and I'm definitely not little ). I think I'm afraid I don't know how to be old, especially not in a queer way. I don't know any queer old people. There don't seem to be any non-binary seniors.

I guess this means I have to blaze my own trail, but that gets tiring and I get frustrated. I've complained in other threads about being lonely on my path, about how it seems that I'm the only one with these experiences. The thought of going my whole life like this is frightening.

How do you feel about growing old? What kind of old person are you going to be?

I would say that growing old is one of my fears .... growing old as a "woman" is definitely one of my biggest fears. Luckily I've got genetics on my side (I'm almost twice your age but don't look it or feel it) but I look at how FAAB people age into their 30's, 40's and beyond and I just don't want any part of that. It's one of the main reasons I am seriously considering supplemental T again (I'd probably never try shots again but a custom formulated/compounded cream, maybe). So far I've been able to avoid aging like a female because my T levels have been higher than average females and I stay active (of course never being pregnant helps too, not that that was ever an option or desire).

But in a lot of ways I too feel like a much younger person trapped inside a body that's of course growing a year older every 12 months. I just had what many would consider one of those "milestone" birthdays and on the actual day itself I had a total meltdown. It was kind of inevitable because I'd built the whole thing up in my mind and became a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy of having a horrible day. But over the last week I've calmed back down and am back to my "age is just a number" thing. Some may think it's vain, but I really just want to stay as young (both in appearance and health) as possible for as long as possible. I'll take all the experience that comes with age though

Hello to all you youngsters. Stop worrying about getting old. Its the best years of your life. Do not overindulge in anything. I have half a glass of wine every night, do voluntary work, walk and keep a reasonable weight (70 kg) I am still on HRT, started late due to family commitments, but enjoying the results. My age - 79 years.

Quote from: JoanneL on March 11, 2013, 03:04:31 AM
Hello to all you youngsters. Stop worrying about getting old. Its the best years of your life. Do not overindulge in anything. I have half a glass of wine every night, do voluntary work, walk and keep a reasonable weight (70 kg) I am still on HRT, started late due to family commitments, but enjoying the results. My age - 79 years.

Wow, good going Joanne! As of Aug 3rd Ill be 9 years and some months your junior, though mentally and emotionally I'm still in my 30's and feel that way once I get the equipment warmed up and stretched out in the morning. I'm loving retirement, every day is Saturday!

I'm just going to keep subtracting 6 years every time I hit 29. So yeah, I guess I just turned 23

In all seriousness, in not worried about getting older. It happens. I'm going to make the best of it, one day at a time.

Quote from: Shantel on March 11, 2013, 08:08:11 AM
...every day is Saturday!

Wow, shantel! I live by that statement. No wonder we get along so well... Haha!!

I'm not exactly retired, just freelance, so I have frequent breaks in between gigs where I will shout to my roomies- "every day is Saturday!!" Or "happy Saturday!" On a Monday afternoon

60 yrs of well deserved age.
I quit working for someone else over five yrs ago.
I usually have no idea what day of the week it is.
I don't keep track of the time, so that's just an estimate.
I like it. It allows me to work on projects without those nasty time constraints.
My mind, my life,...stuck at 32 yrs for some reason.
I don't hurt, but I do have pain from a reckless youth.
Thinking that this summer is going to be kayaking some white water, again.
Living close to the Mississippi river here in MN makes for a lot of day long trips down streams and little rivers.
Hah! Bets on # of ER trips this year? lol 

You much younger people who are afraid of growing old?
If there was something to fear, us older folks would be screaming 'Don't do it, it's a trap!'.
When you learn to give up regrets,
When you learn that you just go for it,
The time in your life slows down. Sometimes it just stops.
You'll be amazed at how much more you can do.
Ativan

I'm in my 60s as well. Nobody thinks I'm that age. I joke about it a bit, but I don't feel-- however that is supposed to feel.
I'm sorry that I didn't know I was trans sooner, but I don't feel a lot of regret as i also consider this a huge waste of time. I am more active in some ways than I was in my 20s. I am going to "retire" this year, but I don't plan on actually retiring. It is going to be a job change to do stuff I more want to do. I am financially stable, own my own house (no mortgage), etc. When I was 20 I was eating beans and living from pay check to pay check. I am physically more capable now too. I can scramble up a side of mountain, not something I did at 20 either.

I know lots of people on cross hormones (I say this as they are going both ways) who got healthier, not less healthy. Lost lots of weight and so on.

--Jay

Just saw this:

"I believe that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise."

Quote from: Ativan Prescribed on March 11, 2013, 11:54:19 AM
Just saw this:

"I believe that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise."

Good one, I get accused of that all the time, tho more like, "You're so immature, act your age!" 

"Immature: a word boring people use to describe fun people". 

Quote from: Ativan Prescribed on March 11, 2013, 12:21:35 PM
"Immature: a word boring people use to describe fun people". 

I'm never immature when I'm at a back yard beer and BBQ blowout with a bunch of 30-40 year olds, seems like I fit right in!

Younger people is where the disguise part comes in handy...

Age doesn't make much difference with me.
I have two teen age children, so pretty much any group, I'm good.
I actually only know a couple people my age.
The rest are all ages. We have a 3yr old every other week here.
I am being taught by her to be a little kid, once again.
Ativan

So far, this is the oldest I've been.