Okay, so this might be somewhat of a rant or just a realization that I am making, but it is definitely frustrating and somewhat depressing. Going into transition and starting hormones I was hopeful because I'm young and blah blah blah, but the more I've thought about it, I'm finally starting to really accept that it's not magic, it's not going to change my features enough and turn me into this beautiful woman that I wish I could see in the mirror. It's time to realize that for myself and that really hurts to feel that, but why give myself more false hope at this point. I wasn't being realistic and I'm starting to accept that even though it's really hard for me for some reason. So I guess it's a rant, sorry to bother you all ='(

Well, I dunno what you are talking about

...because...

looking at your avatar, you are already a beautiful woman! And you're still early on with HRT

lol! You're at 5 months. Come back at the 1 year mark. At 5 months, this was me:



At 11 months, this was me without makeup:



And at 18 months, I'm still looking more feminine every month. BTW my avatar was at 15 months and I had very little makeup.

Sometimes even beautiful people are made ugly by who they are; and people who are considered ugly shine just by being themselves. Just by being yourself (female) you shine.

That being said, beauty isn't always an external thing, and sexual attraction isn't always based on strict preferences. Love transcends all things.

I understand that you are grieving the loss of your expectations, I have been through a similar event; and it doesn't feel any less real than grieving a physical loss.

I went in to my transition with very few expectations beyond being able to live my life as a woman. So all the positive changes have been a bonus and a blessing.

But I must confess that it seems my approach to being trans and transition are quite different to most, hence calling myself the 'Trans-Rebel'..

there are always appearance altering options. I myself am looking at FFS because I have a fairly masculine face. that and I have access to modeling equipment so it's very easy to see how malleable I can be.

Judging by your photo I don't think you have anything to worry about. Beauty shines through from within & you're shining like the sun.
Give it time & you'll see the true you

It's important not to have unrealistic expectation of hormones. That said, every woman has to deal with her own self image and accept herself. It's part of growing as a woman.

.

Emma, IMO transition is not about looks, it's about accepting yourself as a woman.

That can happen no matter what you look like.

Quote from: muuu on March 12, 2013, 03:20:36 AM
I have quite low expectations, but high requirements.

We know...

.

Quote from: Sky-Blue on March 12, 2013, 02:04:23 AM
Sometimes even beautiful people are made ugly by who they are; and people who are considered ugly shine just by being themselves. Just by being yourself (female) you shine.

That being said, beauty isn't always an external thing, and sexual attraction isn't always based on strict preferences. Love transcends all things.

I understand that you are grieving the loss of your expectations, I have been through a similar event; and it doesn't feel any less real than grieving a physical loss.

I'll second this line of thought! I'd be the first to admit that I had some pretty delusional ideas of the kind of outcome I might have, but oh well! Best plan is to aim at the moon and if you fall short it will be far better than not setting up any target whatsoever. Personally I think you look rather great already!

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 12, 2013, 05:42:20 AM
Emma, IMO transition is not about looks, it's about accepting yourself as a woman.

That can happen no matter what you look like.

^^This

Ditto, I agree with Serena Lynn's agreeing with Suzifrommd.

Quote from: suzifrommd on March 12, 2013, 05:42:20 AM
Emma, IMO transition is not about looks, it's about accepting yourself as a woman.

That can happen no matter what you look like.

We know that already, what she's plainly referring to in terms of one of the aspects of transition is her own expectations regarding her preconceived notions of changes in her outward appearance, and that is what my response was in reference to.

I agree with the whole youth doesnt mean beauty thing i sure had that dream XD but hey you look pretty why wory?

Just let the changes come... Don't base expectations on your 5 month mark :p

Too many of us place waaaaay too much emphasis on looks. I've been there myself when I was younger, twice. Both times opting instead for normal. For the majority of my life till then I was the object of ridicule and derision. I wasn't looking to volunteer for an entire lifetime of it.

Funny part is, I really didn't look half bad. With my self-esteem and self-worth both sitting about as low as a pregnant snails tummy, I was esentially doomed. Without finding a TG group or a therapist, I was esentially doomed. Today, thanks to a far higher self esteem thanks to a fantastic TG group and a little therapy I achieved my life dream of being seen as, or at least, accepted as a woman.

As they say, 90% of passing is attitude.

My big reality check that I discovered and pass on to all that can use it is the next time ou go grocery shopping and you are waiting on the checkout line, put down that magazine and take a critical look at all the "typical" women there. They come in all shapes and sizes and especially gradients of the "feminine ideal". Mostly at the low end of the scale. I think since most just hate being women!

Please don't be so hard on yourself. From personal experience I can tell you that deciding to fake being a guy is a decision to forefit your life and your soul. Especially once you've seen the promised land

Quote from: JoanneB on March 12, 2013, 06:06:33 PM

My big reality check that I discovered and pass on to all that can use it is the next time ou go grocery shopping and you are waiting on the checkout line, put down that magazine and take a critical look at all the "typical" women there. They come in all shapes and sizes and especially gradients of the "feminine ideal". Mostly at the low end of the scale. I think since most just hate being women!

Isn't that the truth though!