Okokok, I don't know where to start. I've been thinking about this for months. I've been trying to think so hard about my past because I know a lot of transgendered ppl have recollections since childhood of always being and/or wanting to be a girl... A funny story my mom always used to tell people that I was 2 female twins in the womb when they scanned for it, but I came out as 1 male boy... As for always wanting to be a girl from birth, I'm not sure! I just... there are scattered instances here and there in my past where I have done quirky things that have made me stand out and seem like a girl but, I just don't know if it's enough to warrant going on hormones... for instance, my girlfriend has pointed out that I have said "you're lucky you get to carry a purse," etc. Things that I just don't see as out of place, but she notices everything. I ask her to put makeup on me occasionally and play it off as a joke but... I really like it, I want to be pretty, bleh I dunno where I'm going with this, I'm SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. HELP ME!!

...and I don't even think I could even pull it off if I even went that route; I'm Russian and I'm way too masculine, especially my face/jawline. AND I'm 25! UGH!!!! I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT!! IT'S TOO LATE!! ? ;-;



Recently I've had an obsession with talking like a girl and sounding like a girl when I play video games over the microphone. People actually think I'm a girl when I talk. Which makes me REALLY happy for some odd reason. I just... have to vent somewhere. Thanks for listening. Also sorry is the word ->-bleeped-<- offensive? Just thought of this after I made my account ;-; I thought it'd be cute, but I think it's got a bad connotation as of late?

It's good that you're asking these kinds of questions about yourself... don't be scared, you're doing yourself a favor.  You've come to a good place to ask questions, so read everybody's posts and join in on the discussion and see how well you relate!

And yes, I do think many people here will find "t****y" to be offensive... but once you get to 15 posts you'll be able to change your display name.

Image Removed

This should be fun to watch.

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Photos posted solely to communicate sarcasm or derision; are intended to belittle or ridicule a person or group; or to disgust the viewer; are off topic, and will be removed by staff.

I know some members are offended by it I'm not bothered personally.

I can understand your anxiety and nervousness... Your confused and lost and somehow you found yourself here that's cool.

Let me tell you this about myself... I'm not in the business of telling people who they are or what gender they are. Anyone who dose isn't worth your time, Doctors, Peers nobody.

The only person who matters in such a decision is you. Your unsure whether your really a girl/woman so your clearly trying to dis-prove to yourself that you are or aren't. I know this might not make sense, but I will tell you anyway.

The evidence your presenting It's all irrelivent it doesn't matter if you were a paragon for men, or you've only dressed in pink dresses since age 4.

The question you need to ask "Do I want to be a woman?" I mean if your trans you already are in a sense but understand the implications, Do you want to have a female body?

You ask "Is it enough to go on hormones?"
I dunno is it? Do you want to take hormones? That's the real question.

I take female hormones. If you take them your body will change and become more womanlike. Your breasts will start to grow, Body hair will become finer, Ass and hips will swell abit, Your sex drive will drop and a hundred other things.

Now Do you want that to happen to you? I used to look like a guy, after 9 months I was begin referred to as a woman, it became extremely difficult to pretend I was male anymore.

Quote from: ->-bleeped-<- link=topic=137485.msg1#msg1 date=1363454244
Okokok, I don't know where to start. I've been thinking about this for months. I've been trying to think so hard about my past because I know a lot of transgendered ppl have recollections since childhood of always being and/or wanting to be a girl... A funny story my mom always used to tell people that I was 2 female twins in the womb when they scanned for it, but I came out as 1 male boy... As for always wanting to be a girl from birth, I'm not sure! I just... there are scattered instances here and there in my past where I have done quirky things that have made me stand out and seem like a girl but, I just don't know if it's enough to warrant going on hormones... for instance, my girlfriend has pointed out that I have said "you're lucky you get to carry a purse," etc. Things that I just don't see as out of place, but she notices everything. I ask her to put makeup on me occasionally and play it off as a joke but... I really like it, I want to be pretty, bleh I dunno where I'm going with this, I'm SO CONFUSED RIGHT NOW. HELP ME!!

...and I don't even think I could even pull it off if I even went that route; I'm Russian and I'm way too masculine, especially my face/jawline. AND I'm 25! UGH!!!! I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT!! IT'S TOO LATE!! ? ;-;



Recently I've had an obsession with talking like a girl and sounding like a girl when I play video games over the microphone. People actually think I'm a girl when I talk. Which makes me REALLY happy for some odd reason. I just... have to vent somewhere. Thanks for listening. Also sorry is the word ->-bleeped-<- offensive? Just thought of this after I made my account ;-; I thought it'd be cute, but I think it's got a bad connotation as of late?

If it makes you feel any better I think you could pass as androgynous, or butch-female. With a little bit of work you probably could look very female. I have a naturally androgynous face; but sometimes I wish I looked more feminine. It's just because we are all overly self critical...it's just a fact of life.

I know this is all so confusing, but take time to lurk a bit or if you feel confident enough you can post about specific things you would like to know more about. I've been questioning my gender identity for about a year...and only recently have I found that I tend to be more non-binary...but I would still identify as transsexual (but non-op for a few reasons).

Or, you could try to modify how you look to be more feminine and see how it feels; perhaps the direct approach would be more appropriate for you.

If you want to talk to someone you can pm me after you get 15 posts.

I started a thread over in the androgyne part of this site, it's about non-binary identities. Perhaps you might get something out of it (or you can read various other threads in that sub forum)

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,137411.0.html?PHPSESSID=peiac5ada6gjedj10ku8o74p55

Ultimately no one can tell you if you are transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, androgyne or any other variant; you have to explore that for yourself. At this point all I can say is that you have stated some things that indicate that you may be trans*.

You could be a girl...or you could be In between.

Take it easy

-Sky

Quote from: ->-bleeped-<- link=topic=137485.msg1107005#msg1107005 date=1363454244


...and I don't even think I could even pull it off if I even went that route; I'm Russian and I'm way too masculine, especially my face/jawline. AND I'm 25! UGH!!!! I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT!! IT'S TOO LATE!! ? ;-;

I don't think your face is so masculine that you'll never be able to pass. You would be surprised what hormones can do.

Quote from: Heather on March 16, 2013, 12:57:04 PM
I don't think your face is so masculine that you'll never be able to pass. You would be surprised what hormones can do.

She's right, hormones will do will do wonders to your body. My first suggestion is to find a trans friendly therapist and talk to them about it. If indeed you are trans then three months after your apt you can finally start!

Well, not having a whole lot of childhood issues with gender doesn't necessarily mean anything. I didn't really start feeling gender-dysphoric myself until I was about 13 years old, and there's many (although a minority admittedly) here who have transitioned who didn't really start feeling it until their 20's.

The main question is, do you feel a sensation of gender dysphoria? The two primary criteria for that are as follows:
-Feel persistently and strongly that they are the wrong sex and feel a strong identification with the opposite sex
-Feel discomfort in their sex and its gender role and strongly dislike and wish to be rid of the physical characteristics of their sex

Those are generally the two things that identify someone as having gender dysphoria, the primary diagnosis that makes someone a candidate for an actual gender transition according to the official medical community.

Look into it further. Ask yourself questions. Think about it. Talk to a therapist. Try to figure out whether it's something that you genuinely do want or not. Odds are that if you feel transsexual enough to want to come here and make a post like this, it's a big enough personal thing to definitely be worth exploring. So keep looking, and don't stop questioning.

And for the love of God, do not let that age-old excuse of "I wouldn't look good as a girl" stop you. I thought the same thing for the entire first 13 years of my post-puberty adult life. I just assumed that it was impossible, and that I could never do it, and as a result I pretty much wasted most of the best years of my life never feeling truly happy. So don't let that fear dominate you. If it really is serious enough, you might be denying yourself a chance at true happiness by thinking such self-defeating thoughts.

Good luck!

Indeed. Your first step is to see a therapist. You can do nothing but worry, go in circles and risk making mistakes if you're still confused.

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on March 16, 2013, 12:34:29 PM
Image Removed

This should be fun to watch.

what does that mean =(

LOL, I dunno... maybe it's the slightly derogatory choice of forum name? I literally laughed out loud.

http://www.gaycenter.org/gip/transbasics/glossary

As others have said, I would also think hormones would make you very pretty And if you have a voice that passes, that is one of the hardest things to accomplish.

Definitely agree that talking to a therapist would be a good idea!

yes im REALLY proud of my voice, people actually think im a girl

that is extremely reassuring to know that that is one of the biggest things to passing!!!

Quote from: Sky-Blue on March 16, 2013, 12:46:36 PM
If it makes you feel any better I think you could pass as androgynous, or butch-female. With a little bit of work you probably could look very female. I have a naturally androgynous face; but sometimes I wish I looked more feminine. It's just because we are all overly self critical...it's just a fact of life.

I know this is all so confusing, but take time to lurk a bit or if you feel confident enough you can post about specific things you would like to know more about. I've been questioning my gender identity for about a year...and only recently have I found that I tend to be more non-binary...but I would still identify as transsexual (but non-op for a few reasons).

Or, you could try to modify how you look to be more feminine and see how it feels; perhaps the direct approach would be more appropriate for you.

If you want to talk to someone you can pm me after you get 15 posts.

I started a thread over in the androgyne part of this site, it's about non-binary identities. Perhaps you might get something out of it (or you can read various other threads in that sub forum)

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,137411.0.html?PHPSESSID=peiac5ada6gjedj10ku8o74p55

Ultimately no one can tell you if you are transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, androgyne or any other variant; you have to explore that for yourself. At this point all I can say is that you have stated some things that indicate that you may be trans*.

You could be a girl...or you could be In between.

Take it easy

-Sky

sky ur the best! thanks. that pic is me when i was muscular, i don't lift weights anymore, i run 5-10 miles a day for exercise

Quote from: ->-bleeped-<- link=topic=137485.msg1#msg1 date=1363478660
sky ur the best! thanks. that pic is me when i was muscular, i don't lift weights anymore, i run 5-10 miles a day for exercise

No problem...sometimes the people that are the nicest are the ones who have had the most problems.

-Sky

Welcome to Susan's Place, sailormoon6! I'm from Boston. Grab some snacks and I'll see you around the site. Hugs, Devlyn

I still am a little worried about what she meant by "This should be fun to watch."

i'm a little put off ;-; this is a reallllly delicate issue for me

I wouldn't worry about it, just explore the site, have fun, and let your opinions be known! Hugs, Devlyn

I really only think it was because your initial forum name was "->-bleeped-<-". For some it can be a really off-putting term.

Alaina is great! Trust me, everyone here will be super supportive of you and the information contained within these forums is as good as gold.

See you around

I have a pretty crazy bunch of mental health professionals around me, therapists, various counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, even a spiritual guru. Which one do I talk to for this kind of stuff?

Quote from: sailormoon6 on March 16, 2013, 08:52:33 PM
I have a pretty crazy bunch of mental health professionals around me, therapists, various counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, even a spiritual guru. Which one do I talk to for this kind of stuff?

Well see if any of them deal with or have a history of dealing with gender issues.