Wondering how many of you have had facial hair. I do believe I subconsciously was hiding my real self behind my beard. Once when I shaved it off a sale person came to the door and ask for my mom or dad. I was 28 at the time. Another time I went to the bank to cash my check and the clerk told me I would have to have my husband with me. It was a check made out to my male name and signed by that name. I scared me and humiliated me so I grew my beard right back.

I grew a full beard as soon as I got married and only shaved it off a couple of times. Once to get a job and started growing it right back. But when I began realizing that I had gender problems I began cutting my beard real short because I hated how I looked. Within a month I cut it off completely. I had worn a beard for over 30 years.

So how about you: Am I the only one or not?
Did you have one? Were you hiding behind it?

Thanks for you answers.
Jillieann

My ex-girlfriend used to refer to herself as "my beard." She said I was only using her to cover up my own insecurities in myself. It was easy to project as happy and hetero as long as she was around. She wasn't ever my beard but I can see how she felt that way though. That is the only "beard" experience I have had since the Marine Corps doesn't allow them.

I never had a full beard, just a goatee (spelling?), but I would definately say I was hiding behind it. I even made that remark to myself once when I tried to purge (one of the many times) again and grew it back just so I can try and fit into the male persona. I consously knew that's what I was doing, yet it didn't dawn on me to just stop hiding behind it and start transition.

Sarah

It helped me look scarry so people would leave me alone...

Quote from: Jillieann on June 13, 2007, 10:38:03 PMI do believe I subconsciously was hiding my real self behind my beard.

Oh, preach it, sister!

Hiding is right - It took many years just to begin to admit to myself the depth of my lifelong habit of hiding, let alone do something about it. I had the beard for 26 years. Now I can hardly believe I did that to myself. What lengths might not we be driven to out of fear? And I sure had the fear pounded into me as a kid. Literally.

The Indigo Girls sang,

What would you give for your kid fears?


At the time, the name of the game was survival. Too bad I got stuck in that rut for so long. Well, screw the past - in the present I'm out and proud, and that is what matters. I won't apologize for doing what was necessary for my safety.

I had a full beard several times over the years and a mustache for 25 years continuously.

Rhonda

I had a full beard for almost a decade. In hindsight, likely for three different and even conflicting reasons.

1) It was, in part, an attempt to see myself as male.
2) I didn't like shaving, as that's such a male thing to do. Who says I'm logical? 
3) It looked good on me. Not necessarily sexy or anything like that, but aesthetically pleasing.

At the time I didn't really think about it like that, of course, except for the last one.

  Nfr

I'm very lucky about facial hair i have never had to shave my whole life.But i have shaved the peach fuze off less then a dozen times in my whole life just cause i had to take pics for different events in my life.I'm 26 and still cant grow a mustash let alone any thing else"like i really would want to....hell no!".Even my body hair is blond and really fine,just a little thin patch on my chest and it goes away with a trimer in seconds.I just hope when i go on hrt that the little patch on my chest goes away.

the mentioning of blonde reminded me of something. There is a woman that i work with who has very light skin and blonde hairs so they are almost invisible. She went almost 10 years without ever shaving her legs. Until she was employed by a company tat required she wear pantyhose with her attire. Then she finally had to shave. Just thought i would share that little story.

Yep, I had a sparse beard for a few years. I couldn't grow much, and people made fun of it, and I kept it down to scruff anyway. I just did the lines down the jawline and mustache kinda thing.

Ironic though, considering how psychotic I became a few years later about removing my facial hair. It was something of a "if you can't beat 'em, make the best of it instead" attitude. I'd always been embarassed of my non-masculine body, like how dress shirts look stupid on me somehow, and my face always looked unmanly. I hoped the scruff would add a touch of masculinity so people wouldn't figure out my deep, dark secret that I was SURE was "showing" somehow.

~Kate~

I never had enough facial hair to grow a full beard, not that I didn't try but I couldn't even grow a goatee.

Like so many others, I tried a beard to hide who I was, it did not work.

My brother has had a beard for 50 years (to hide his very bad acne scars).

Sarah L.

I never had enough facial hair to do the beard thing even though I had some pretty hairy males on both sides of the family. I used to hate it when I was in college (and still trying to hide who I was) but it has worked out well in the long run. However, what little facial hair I have has so far refused to go away for long. A trip to Texas will be in my future.

I'm ginger. To be ginger and have a beard is too much.

Quote from: LostInTime on June 14, 2007, 10:16:33 AM
A trip to Texas will be in my future.

Speaking of Texas, a week after returning from Electrology3000, my face is in really good shape. 9.5 hours and the first clearing is done, including ears and armpits. Love the feeling of no hair and no need to worry about coverup.

Hugs,

Rhonda

Yup, I have (had) a mustache for about 30 years, to hide the real me? I do not know for sure, it sometimes feels like an old friend, and I know that once it comes off I have begun the complete transistion.

Bobbi