Mum walked in on me binding my chest.

Later while at a darts match she dragged me into the toilets to have a chat. The good news is she's ok with it and I can buy a proper binder when she gets paid next. The bad news is that she then went on to say that she's known that I'm asexual for ages and how she wishes I told her and all that. I think she missed the whole transgender part, but I don't want to explain it all without knowing for sure. I know she didn't get the wrong word as she showed a good understanding of asexuality and she is right about me being one. I would have told her about the binding not being about that, but she never gave me a chance to speak. I have no idea where to go from here.

Forward. You can only go forward from here. I think you're at a good starting point, with an opening for further discussion.  Hugs, Devlyn

I agree with Devlyn, this seems like a good start, she'll probably catch on sooner than later or be more open to you actually coming out. So far, she seems a lot more understanding than some other people's parents I've heard about on the board, especially since she agreed to buy you a binder.

It's a pretty good start. She seems open to the idea of you being yourself and her buying you a proper binder could be a conversation starter for you to get the rest of it going. It may be a little awkward to explain it all to her, but she seems understanding (and she may have already done quite a bit of research).

I'd just take it slow from here. no need to push a good thing to breaking point too fast. chug along steadily.

Coming out is an emotional rollercoaster for anyone because you're trying to anticipate a reaction to something which normally lies outside the mutually accepted culture of a relationship. Gender is something many people can be sensitive about.

The only principle I would offer when coming out is the closer the person is to you in your life the more cautious and patient you have to be.

Another thing is you can't predict accurately what is going to happen tomorrow. Tomorrow might bring a better opportunity.

I can't speak for your mother as I obviously don't know her but it seems like she's pretty accepting all ready. Going all the way might be easier then you think if she's accepting you as asexual- to the point of even help you buy a binder. That seems HUGE to me. Having the support of a parent is wonderful and I wish you luck!

Thanks. I think it is something that I needed to take a step back and think about. I'll have to make sure I speak to her when the opportunity arises (having two little sisters doesn't give me chances often).

Quote from: kkut on March 26, 2013, 04:28:49 PM

Something however I'm really struggling with...... I'm trying to picture my mom dragging me into a toilet at a darts match, just not happening for me. 

We weren't playing at the time, she's not one for being subtle and I don't think she realises my sisters know. I've never understood why women use public loos as a place for a private conversation.