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MTF continue to present as a male

Started by Elsa, March 28, 2013, 04:33:58 PM

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Elsa

Hi Everyone!!! I know I havent posted for a while and am sorry for that - life has been a mess and I really do not want to be a downer for anyone arround me...

Anyways more to the point - about why am I posting in the FTM section?  Well I really wanna transition but am not living in a LGBT friendly country - so I have to present as a guy while working and to ensure the safety of those I care about.

So I thought the post might make more sense posting here.

How does an MTF continue to present as a male? So I guess I would need binders and stuff and I am very ignorant out here.

I don't have a choice and I hate it but it's better that knowing that I am resposible for the people I care about getting hurt.

Any advice? Please help  ???
Sometimes when life is a fight - we just have to fight back and say screw you - I want to live.

Sometimes we just need to believe.
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AdamMLP

Just to clarify, you're an MTF who is on hormones and wants to pass as male for safety reasons?

Obviously some things here aren't going to apply to you, such as name changes, and all that social stuff, but I suppose our information on binding might be useful.  If you've only got small breasts (I don't know if you've had surgery there or whatever) then you might get away with just not wearing a bra at all and having a layer or two on, but you'd probably be more comfortable with a sports bra on at least, and although I've never tried it I've heard a lot of people say that they work for smaller breasts, as long as you get the ones designed to compress and not enhance your breast appearance.

For larger breasts you'd probably want to look into getting a binder, it really just depends on what you're having to wear and what the climate is.  I don't bind at all at the moment as its' winter and I wear a few layers, but if I had more up there, or it was summer I would be constantly binding.

Haircuts all depend on which aspect is more important for you, but you can get some nice andro short hair styles if that interests you.
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Natkat

hi Alexia,

is it okay to ask you which country you are from?

if your homones I guess you could wear a binder and some bigger clothes who wont show of your body to much but this depend, for some people it helps to pass for other it makes it worse,

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John Smith

Be careful with binding, it may break down the breast tissue, so if you are on hormones and wanting to develop breasts, just don't. Go for sport bras and layering.

Went and got me a ticker, so everytime I post I'm reminded to put down whatever I was about to eat. >.>
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dean1229

Hi Alexia, i am in the same situation, the only difference is that i am a FTM. I live in a country with very little tolerance towards trans people and that is one of the reasons why i have to continue to present as a female. Even though i wear unisex or men clothes all the time, pretty much everyone know i am a female and i am not trying to lie to them about my body. This makes me very veeeeery sad. :(((((
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Joelene9

  I'm still presenting as male.  It also depends what you do according to age.  I'm 60 and pass off as a retired male despite the boobs.  Some of the other men my age are bigger than me here.  If you're young, sports bra and layering as suggested previously, is the better ticket than binding. 

  Joelene
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aleon515

I don't know how big you are, but I think these work nicely. If I wear with a slightly compressing muscle type shirt (which flattens out the nips).
http://gc2compression.com/GC2-Gynecomastia-FTM-Chest-Compression-Tank-gc2t.htm


I have  a 36 C (I weigh about 120 lbs). http://gc2compression.com/GC2-Gynecomastia-FTM-Chest-Compression-Tank-gc2t.htm
They are cheap enough you can try out. They are definitely not strong enough to ruin anything there.


--Jay
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Elsa

Sorry for taking ages to reply back...

Breast-wise I would be an A - I almost reached B a few months ago and then started getting really bad looks from people while I want passing so I've lower my E intake and am still on high AA though.

Natkat, I am from India. And the weather is sooo unbearably hot even light clothing seems like wearing sweaters.

I have been trying out tees that compress the boobs as binders and very difficult to get out hear. And it feels so constricting I can barely breathe. :icon_omfg:

dean1229 - am sorry about your situation - while India is not that bad there are no laws to protect people like us. So we get marginalized.

If I have any hope of having a dignified life while trying to be myself am going to have to figure out how to be a guy - well at least look like one - while working and getting a jobs and while out in public.
Sometimes when life is a fight - we just have to fight back and say screw you - I want to live.

Sometimes we just need to believe.
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Natkat

ah its understandable.

I dont know what to say, preseving male or female also depend on the culture, obviously theres points like growing out a beard and such who would make you look masculine, however, I am pretty sure you want the posibilaty to still be able to be slitghtly female and only have this look outside, so maybe the most optimal would be to try be as unisex as posible in the line where only a few details would make people think you as male and changing those few things people would be alot more unsure. I think those things are something who depend a person to study the diffrence in the gender norm your surounded to see what parts make people say male and which make them say female. ex for myself I know my voice is my maculine point who make me pass, and my face is the more femenine point. if I where to pass as female I would probably change my voice and use haircuts who show more of my face together with some girly stuff in my hair, where if I was to pass as male I would use my voice normally and get a haircut who dosent show my round face but draw attention to other points.
its a big pussle and you cant really make a clear statement cause each person is diffrent and speaking culture its also diffrent. I think fashion and cosmetic tips can help together with understanding the diffrence between male and female experience, its all about where we put our attention and show or focus.

I hope you understood some of what I wrotte here, it got abit long and messy.. sorry
--
btw theres this group for transgender indians on facebook have you try sign up there? maybe they also have advice?




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sylvannus

I think an A cup does not really matter, since if you keep a small beard, everyone will just think you are a male who is slightly fat. I know a MTF post-op friend who lives in Hong Kong. You know the Chinese culture is also famous for transphobic. She has also an A cup. The weather there is also extremely hot all the year around, and she does not even keep a beard, but people just don't mind. People just think this is a man with a fat chest --poor body shape, but still a man.
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Lrouk

I completely understand how you feel, even though I'm kind of on the other side of it :P.  While I live in a country that is largely accepting, I live in a region that is extremely intolerant.  For this reason, I continue to present as female most of the time.  However, to keep myself from going insane, I try to stay as androgynous as possible.  So as far as the breast problem, I would recommend a tight sports bra and some kind of tank top under your shirt. That usually helps me to stay as flat as possible. Pretty much the same as what everyone else has said, sports bras and layering...

Good luck with everything and I hope your situation works out!
"When push comes to shove, you gotta do what you love. Even if it's not a good idea." -Hermes Conrad
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Elsa

Thanks everyone!!! am kinda crossing fingers and praying everything works out.

It really irritates me that we need to present as someone other than our true selves just to keep people we may never know who might hurt our loved ones/ or us just out spite and hatred.

@Natkat - thanks and don't worry your English made sense while my post when I re-read it - had the horrible grammar - sorry everyone for that!

@sylvannus don't know if that would work for me though since my bust has a very obvious shape to it  despite being A. Anyone looking at it would think is that a guy or a girl - if its a girl then thats one ugly girl - or if its a guy then why does he have boobs  :eusa_wall:

@sylvannus & Lrouk I really hope both friend and you both are able to escape the hell of trying to pretend to be someone else.



Sometimes when life is a fight - we just have to fight back and say screw you - I want to live.

Sometimes we just need to believe.
  •  

aleon515

I used to "bind" with a under armour shirt (athletic compression shirt) and a wife beater/muscle type undershirt. I wore  a  C cup, even so with a button down shirt it didn't work badly. Actually with an A cup, you're just one of those "guys" (not) with gynecomastia. Something like 1/4 of guys have some degree of this.

--Jay
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