I figured it a long shot at best but I went off to the barbers with my longer hair that I left unstraightened.  Unstraightened it was kinda big as I have thick and wavy hair so I really never expected to pass, straightened it came to around shoulder length at the back, bottom of chin level at the sides to give you an idea of just how much hair was there.  But I sat down in the chair and the guy asked if it had been a while since my last hair cut, and I said yes.  It wasn't a lie but the last hair cut I got was still fairly long.

Now I have it pretty darn short, it's tapered at the back and sides and layered at the top.  I have some cowlicks so anything with any decent length staying flat never works, and I doubt I'd suit anything super short, so messy style it is.

You've no idea how psyched I am at passing.  I was on the fence about going for the far shorter cut but just passing when I got through the door made me properly commit to it and I'm so happy right now.  I feel like I'm starting to look on the outside how I feel on the inside.  I'm even at the point where I want to post a picture here in the "Do I pass" thread to get some feedback despite being pre-everything.  I have the picture but I'm still really self conscious and nervous so we'll see if I gain the strength to do that, but for now; baby steps!

If I can pass with feminine hair while pre-everything I'm real excited about taking the next step .

 
Way to go man! Don't be afraid of posting even if you're pre-everything. Show off that new haircut!

Woohoo! Thanks for sharing the good news with us. Little steps is the way to go. Hugs, Devlyn

Thanks guys

I really want to post the picture but at the same time I worry.  I've just never felt comfortable with photographs and even when it's closer to the real me I can't shake the self-conscious feeling.  For now I want to keep this achievement of the day spotless.  Even though constructive criticism will definitely help, I just want to have a clean sheet for today . 

But it's the little steps.  I have to go to work like this on Monday and I don't know if I'll sleep a wink on Sunday night just with the thought of that but once I'm able to go to work like this and be confident with that, I see the picture showing up.  I've always known this is how I should be but today was the first time really stepping into it.  I've used binding a fair bit already so I'm comfortable with that, and I've gone shopping and shopped for clothes like this, but this was my first time really doing something where I interacted with someone to the point where I would find out if I passed.  Before, I was just buying random things and even when buying clothes, cashiers don't judge people on what clothes they buy.  Maybe they're buying them for a man anyway!  But I had to interact with a barber and whether or not I passed as a guy would be addressed.

There was a lot of anxiety before I went and it took a lot of courage just stepping into the place for me (and I know how stupid that sounds),  I'd prepared myself for failure, especially given my hair, but as soon as I passed it was like a different person came out of the barbers.  I went in there anxious, concerned and nervous and came out happy and confident.  Confidence is something I lack so I'm on a bit of a high today and I'm just not used to that at all!

P.S. I use the term "guys" for a group of more than one person, even for all female groups!  It's a bad habit I guess I should shake, so I'll try to avoid it in the future.  I would edit it out but just in case anyone read it before I could edit I thought I'd just explain instead.  I help teach martial arts and self defense classes, and I've always been used to just saying "guys" even in classes just for women, but I know for N Americans, some find that wrong or odd (I'm from the UK).

Nice  Is always a good feeling to pass, especially if you havent made any changes yet. Im pre everything too but extremely rarely pass cause of my body.. Depressing to constantly hear the wrong words/terms used but to hear the right ones can have such a good effect. Its a nice feeling and brings more confidence

You should still post pics though, you dont need to worry about that around here. I posted some and I havent started the process yet. Anything to help your confidence is a good thing. I have no confidence at all so I relate to what you're saying. Good that you can be happy though, hope it happens more often 

Quote from: Matty on March 30, 2013, 08:00:51 PM
P.S. I use the term "guys" for a group of more than one person, even for all female groups!  It's a bad habit I guess I should shake, so I'll try to avoid it in the future.  I would edit it out but just in case anyone read it before I could edit I thought I'd just explain instead.  I help teach martial arts and self defense classes, and I've always been used to just saying "guys" even in classes just for women, but I know for N Americans, some find that wrong or odd (I'm from the UK).

In the US, at least, "guys"(plural) is gender free (to my knowledge), but "guy" (singular) is male. There may be groups which might take offense though.

--Jay

Quote from: aleon515 on March 30, 2013, 08:19:36 PM
In the US, at least, "guys"(plural) is gender free (to my knowledge), but "guy" (singular) is male. There may be groups which might take offense though.

--Jay

Yeah I've noticed some are fine and some aren't.  But on a forum like this I'm kinda berating myself because I do realise that could be taken the wrong way by some so I'm definitely going to work on it to avoid it in the future!

Quote from: Leo. on March 30, 2013, 08:18:25 PM
Nice  Is always a good feeling to pass, especially if you havent made any changes yet. Im pre everything too but extremely rarely pass cause of my body.. Depressing to constantly hear the wrong words/terms used but to hear the right ones can have such a good effect. Its a nice feeling and brings more confidence

You should still post pics though, you dont need to worry about that around here. I posted some and I havent started the process yet. Anything to help your confidence is a good thing. I have no confidence at all so I relate to what you're saying. Good that you can be happy though, hope it happens more often 

Oh I know people here are very supportive, that's why I've jumped in.  I've no doubt that I'd get positive and supportive responses, and hopefully some good advice to improve the look.  It's just a self conscious thing but given how I feel today I'm sure I'll push past it .

I don't have the best body for passing either, although I'm tallish (5'8"), I'm unfortunately anything but flat chested.  The only thing that helps a little is that I train hard and have decent muscle for a girl and I have a big build, but unfortunately that also means I'm curvy (so I wear baggy over compression shirt and shorts).  The pec look is still just a little bit too much because even though I have shoulder and bicep muscle, women never have a lot there of course, so it's just looks a tad out of proportion.  I tend to wear over shirts to kinda hide that and that seemed to work today but no amount of binding (especially while keeping safe) would really make me comfortable in anything but a baggy tee, and even then I'd probably put something over it because it makes me a little worried about giving it all away.  It makes it hard for summer when I'm wearing a binder, tee and over shirt!  Lot of sweating but worth it as I approach T (which may well help minimise enough for the pec look to pass) and then eventually top surgery.