I had a happy childhood. I couldn't have asked for a better upbringing. I'm not someone who knew from a very early age that I was trans. I knew something wasn't quite normal, but I didn't understand it or know for sure until a couple of years ago. All the old pictures of me as a kid show a happy little girl in a dress, because that's what I was. My mental health pproblems didn't start until I was 12, and up until that point I was a very happy child with an amazing childhood. I see why my parents couldn't see the signs. The signs were there for me, but to them, I was happy and to them, that meant I was happy as a girl. My parents gave me the best childhood I could ask for - I know I'm very lucky for that - and I was a happy kid. I don't really know where this post is going, I just kind of wanted to give a different side of the story.

At age 4 I made my first stand by ademantly stating that a mistake had been made and that pipi was not supposed to be between my legs...

Things went down hill from there: exorcism, psychiatrist visits, priest school=daily physical and mental torture, military school=more abuse, finally been thrown out to the streets just after my twelve birthday....nice people!

For you it was twelve, for Peky it was four, just goes to show we're all different. And times are different. Your parents are trying to understand, teach them what we all know: Little steps. Hugs, Devlyn

Joey,I had a very happy childhood also. I did boy activities, played sports, married and had family. I always felt that I was different but never knew why.

My troubles started at age 54. For two plus years this 'difference' worked me over until one day I cross dressed. The wheel was set into motion where I would begin a journey that would lead me to where I am today. I am a happy and content transgender woman.

 

Sounds pretty close to what I felt, although from the other side of course. I was fairly happy as a little boy. I played sports, and sang the "blow it away with a shotgun" songs with the other boy scouts, and all the pictures of me are pretty much of a happy young boy. There were some signs, such as how I always had girls as best friends, and socially I acted much more like a girl, but I definitely did not notice them at the time, and definitely did not identify as a girl, and didn't have pretty much any stereotypically-feminine interests like dresses or dolls or pink.

I also started feeling gender dysphoria around age 12.

And if you ask me, part of it is middle school. I think a lot of us are more androgynous, and as such we really don't stand out as much as kids, since kids by nature are more androgynous, and really they tend to not even understand gender aside from its most obvious physical concepts, such as boys having short hair and girls having long hair, and boys wearing certain clothes and girls wearing certain clothes, and boys and girls playing with certain toys, but there is a lot more overlap at that young age, because kids pretty much don't care about societal pressure and how they're "supposed" to act, they just do what comes naturally. But then, in middle school, suddenly guys have to be uber-masculine, and girls have to be uber-feminine, and if you deviate from those norms suddenly it's a big deal. You get picked on for it, possibly shunned socially, and really start to feel out of place. Not to mention that this is when puberty starts, and suddenly the physical realities of the two sexes REALLY split apart fast, getting very much gender-specific, while as kids boys and girls are almost completely physically identical except for the genital area.

Anyway, that's my take on it, as someone who also had a very happy childhood, but then at about age 12/13 everything just started falling down around me.

I realized I was supposed to have been born male when I was 5 or 6 years old, which is when I started dressing and acting like a boy. I didn't really know if I could do anything about it until I was 10 and I finally decided to do something about it last year when I was 19. I honestly don't know why some of my family members were shocked when I came out.

It's always interesting to see what others' stories are. Everyone's different enough to make each story interesting and unique, but in the end we're all the same.

 My childhood was alright. Didn't have a whole lot of things, but I didn't really need much. Didn't have a father, but I figured I didn't need him, either. I grew up mostly content with who I was - I figured I wanted to be a girl at around seven, but it wasn't until twelve that the idea set in seriously.

My puberty officially started at seven, but it was slow-going until twelve, so I imagine my feelings intensified alongside my puberty. A common case.

I'm glad you have some good memories & experiences to fall back on. It's good to hear that some of us have had relatively positive experiences.

Like Padfoot, I realised I was supposed to have been born a boy when I was 5, but that was in 1976 when nobody had heard of a little girl saying that she's really a boy and actually being right. If I hadn't had an older brother to play with (and whose old clothes I could wear) my childhood would've been completely unbearable. As it was, it was just horrible instead. Forced gender compliance; abandonment by my father; neglect by my mother; bullying and abuse at school; abusive alcoholic stepfather... and oh yeah, Gender Dysphoria and Asperger's, just to add to the fun. The years of mental, emotional and physical torture and I suffered in all areas of my life add up to a really bad childhood. The only refuge I had from the constant torment was to retreat into my bedroom and immerse myself in fantasy novels. Nowhere else was safe for me.

That having been said, there were some good moments, mainly when I was away from my family. But those were short bursts of joy in an otherwise dismal childhood. If I were to write a play of my childhood, it would be a tragicomedy.

It wasn't until I was 19 that I first heard the word 'transsexual' and figured out that that's what I am, but it took me another 21 years to pluck up the courage to transition. Mainly because the options for FtMs were pretty dismal back then, as far as I could tell at the time.

But you know what?

It doesn't matter how old we are when we realise that we're trans. It doesn't matter if you figured it out five decades ago; five years ago; or five minutes ago. The only thing that matters is that we've figured it out. That is what makes each journey legitimate.

Well my childhood was boringly ordinary normal. I had some issues, none of it connected to any of my current situation though.

I have great parents, my father passed away in 2007 long before my awakening.

My mom has loved me 100% from the day she realized I was in her. I think dad would have been the same as mom is today, confused, surprised, 100% supportive.

I am their child regardless.

When I hear of people with nasty unsupportive, or mean unaccepting family, it really saddens me.

I played hide and seek with boys and girls, none of us seemed different in interests.
I climbed trees with boys and girls, and we all rode bikes. I played with trucks with a local buddy.

It never ceases to amuse me that of all the people I grew up with, only I and two girl friends actually joined the army.
The oh so tough guys boys I knew, well none of them has really done anything he manly really other than one friend. He's been fairly active and has travelled a lot and has an extensive military career with the militia.

You never know what life is going to give you till it's already happened.
None of my past prepared me for being a woman.
None of it has prevented me from being a woman other than the anatomy.

I had an idyllic childhood fishing,riding my bike and model making I looked like any other boy but I knew something was off,I often day dreamed of being able to live as a woman when I was grown up. Miss Bennett made a boy play Dorothy in the school play(it was an all boys junior school) and I can remember thinking why all the fuss about playing  a girl's part,other boys were terrified,if Miss Bennett told you to do something you did it,she was the only teacher who scared me.When I was 13 I was given a couple of bags of old clothes to take to the Church jumble sale,I took out some of the ones that fitted and I liked and started cross dressing I .I realised I wasn't going to be a girl and went off the rails big time it was my way of keeping my secret,my school work went downhill,I dropped from 6th to 26th.I had been bullied but learned to fight back one holiday and then never backed down even from a fight I couldn't win.An ass kicking took the edge off my dysphoria as did self harm,eating disorder and drinking.I found it difficult to be friends with anyone in case my secret was discovered,I was also bisexual which added to my confusion.It was when I was 21 I realised this wasn't going to go away but it took me 10 more years to deal with it.

During my childhood I was quiet and never said a word to anyone. I can't say that it was bad, but I can't say that it was good either. Whenever I saw a subtle difference between girls and boys, it would make me wonder why there was a difference in the first place. Subconciously, I wanted to look like them and have my name change.

Other then that I was not allow to do things that girls did because my parents kept them away from me. Whenever I dress up they would yell at me and hit me with a belt (On top of other feminine things I did). At the same time they would praise my sister for how beautiful she is and how lovely she turn to be. Now as a grown woman she moved out the house to live her life with a college degree, friends, boy-friend.

Please, don't take this the wrong way, but whenever a see her I have a mix feeling of happiness and depression. The same thing happens when I look at my younger sister. I tend not to say anything when I see them. On top of that I try not to look at any girl directly. I don't know if this is a problem or not, but this is something I am definitely talking about with my gender therapist.

My dad always told that it was for my own good. And that he was doing it so I can learn to be tough enough to protect my sister, like he protects my mom. When will someone protect me? My family and I are on good terms together, but they truly do not know how I feel inside.

Quote from: manyquestions on April 02, 2013, 10:16:28 PM


My dad always told that it was for my own good. And that he was doing it so I can learn to be tough enough to protect my sister, like he protects my mom. When will someone protect me? My family and I are on good terms together, but they truly do not know how I feel inside.

I know how you feel when you said "when will someone protect me?" I grew up with that feeling, it is awful!
And so the pride of my Papi I become supper independent, resourceful, capable of defending myself and my kin....Yet I was angry with my parents and the world...
Well, eventually all that hate and anger almost "ate me up," fortunately for me I realized that if I was to harm or destroy myself, they "win," and I loose. So, I put all my strength and energies learning everything I could so I would not have to ask anybody for anything....
But I did not have a heart..I was a "Vulcan"...eventually so I can love someone, I discovered and rescued my heart...this was very good, because when my kids come to the world I had the biggest heart to give them to them...
So one day when my youngest girl and I, who was or 4 or 5, were at a supermarket, and these people keep steering at me, and then my daughter...my little princess...look at them and stuck her tongue at them...I could not help but bust out laughing at them...they looked annoyed...
Then my big epiphany come out ...G-d had sent me my "PROTECTOR," a child, my daughter....Today, a decade later...I found myself surrounded by many "protectors:" my kids, my sisters, my friends, and many of my colleagues... I forgive my parents and the many people who abuse me as a child...
I WON!
I sense you are young...make plans and stick to them...get in a position so you secure you financial; future...forget your parents...be happy

Quote from: peky on April 03, 2013, 08:25:02 AM
Then my big epiphany come out ...G-d had sent me my "PORTECTOR," a child, my daughter....Today, a decade later...I found myself surrounded by many "protectors:" my kids, my sisters, my friends, and many of my colleagues... I forgive my parents and the many people who abuse me as a child...
I WON!

Brava!

For me the dysphoria hit me pretty much overnight when I was around 9. Puberty happened really quickly for me, I pretty much woke up one day and realized I had boobs. That was what sent me over the edge. I was always a shy and anxious kid who was prone to being emotional, but I was pretty normal, most people just thought I was kind of intense. But I suddenly turned into the angriest person on the face of the earth when my body started changing, it was like a constant aura I carried around with me. I would be going along trying to act like I was in a good mood, and people would ask me what I was so upset about. I remember getting my period on Halloween and not saying anything to anyone until I absolutely had to because I was just so ashamed. I developed an eating disorder trying to keep my body from changing anymore. And I never said a thing to one person. Everyone in my family just became kind of afraid of me. Like they didn't know what the heck was going on with me, so they just said "Meh, hormones" and tried to stay out of my way. I felt pretty alone actually, it was almost like they were a family and I was the kid that lived upstairs. I don't blame them for being scared of me though, I was really mean to most people. I started having bipolar episodes around that time, so I think the stress of it just really set off the biological dominoes.