Before I came to Australia and before my transition, I didn't have much understanding of unisex toilets. When you talked about unisex toilets in Adelaide proudly, I thought "it must be amazing for transgender people!" However, when I actually started my transition myself, I soon found it is not so much a blessing. Is it convenience? Probably. But the price might be discrimination.

When I decided to go into full time, I asked Cindy in case I have any misunderstandings about the Australian laws and customs. She assured it would be alright, but she did not know there was a unisex toilet. On the first day of my full time, I used the female room as Cindy suggested. However, when I was discovered by a women of the neighboring lab, she gave me a stare of so much hatred that I was scared out of the restroom. Then my supervisor called me to his office saying that he received a complain. He requested that since "you are still legally a man", but also because my appearance could harass the gentlemen in men's room, I was advised to use the unisex room upstairs. I didn't want to have a quarrel at the wrong time to a wrong person. Therefore, from then on, I had to walk pass the very doors of the men's and women's restrooms, climb stairs, to the unisex one, which makes me feel like I am not a man nor woman; I am something in between, something non-human, only a monstrous new-half, being alienated out of the human society.

Note it was not because I could not pass with my appearance upsetting the ladies. I pass pretty well thanks to my flat Asian face. It was only because, as they stated, they knew my male past and they have seen me half a o as a man and this freaked them. "You have your unisex restroom for you; why do you need more?" this must be what they were thinking.

I can't wipe out my past. I can't even change my legal gender marker at the current stage. Because I am not an Australian citizen, I will always "legally a man" before SRS, according to the Chinese law. I have never expected SRS more than now. It would be a necessity for my life; even a legal gender marker change alone is worth it.

I don't mean to blame any person by this post. I just feel if there were no such unisex stuff, I would have already ended up being accepted to female restrooms anyway -- although maybe unwillingly. They would have no other choice. Now being bound to the unisex room, I am walking pass the doors of both men's and women's restrooms everyday, to my special place upstairs, like a special new-half.

The sounds horrible. I would feel humiliated. I have worked for my company for nineteen years before i transitioned. I have yet to have surgery. I always use the women's washroom. My company supports me 100%.

As there are a lot of port-a-potties during festivals here in Portland, I see nothing wrong with Uni Sex bathrooms.  I do use the ladies room and have since I went full time.

Myself, I would rather stand next to a cis male with my dress hiked up taking a pee standing, and ask him 'what the ***%^# is YOUR problem?' if he looked confused, and remind him according to stupid rules of the urinal, he's supposed to keep his eyes on the wall ahead of him at any rate.

Rather than deal with some cis female with her panties all out of shape.

I'm only in the rest room to pee, I have no interest in dealing with they or little minds when the only thing that matters is not pissing myself eh.

I know what a penis looks like, and I have had no shortage of time around a vagina. I couldn't care less what organ is on the person in the room with me to be honest.

I'd like someone to try glowering at me, just once eh. I'd bite their head off.

You know somethign sylvannus, I think you have taken this the wrong way.

Imagine that woman going into the female toilet. Any female toilet, anywhere. She would walk in, bold as brass and not think about it. No-one else would say anything since they will naturally accept her, on face value, that she is female.

Do you know for sure? Can anyone be certain? I mean, seriously. The question hasn't come up so it doesn't affect her.

Now, in your case, the question has come up.

I've learn a few things about humans in my time on this planet. One is, you give them a choice and a few will always find a way to create.

Think about it, what possible problem could there be with you or anyone else, using either the male or female toilets?

There isn't. But they have a choice. So, this woman, has opted to create.

So, what does this mean to you. You're a girl in transition. Everyone knows. There's no hiding it. you could pass better than a film star, but everyone still knows.

So, that's your reality. If you happen to move somewhere where everyone doesn't know, then there would be no problem, Why would there be?

So, I suggest you relax. This woman is being a pain. Let her have her little drum roll, her moment to shine and be more than just another jo like everyone else.

You have what you want/need. She can smoke it for all you care.

OK?

Quote from: sylvannus on April 01, 2013, 06:03:33 PM
On the first day of my full time, I used the female room as Cindy suggested. However, when I was discovered by a women of the neighboring lab, she gave me a stare of so much hatred that I was scared out of the restroom. Then my supervisor called me to his office saying that he received a complain. He requested that since "you are still legally a man", but also because my appearance could harass the gentlemen in men's room, I was advised to use the unisex room upstairs.

Interesting that some people are unable to deal with their fellow human beings without having laws and rules in place.

Compassion doesn't take that much effort and costs nothing. Too bad that some people feel they can't afford it.

Before I transitioned to FT, I asked my work about bathrooms...I told them there would be a time where I would start using the lady's room.

They were ok with this, but after a month or so I was told that one of the "upstairs" bathrooms (we work downstairs; only admin types go up) would be made into a unisex room, if that was ok with me. I told them it wasn't, because over time that br might become known as "the ->-bleeped-<- bathroom" and I wouldn't be welcome in either M or F rooms...

Fortunately, in Washington (state) it's the law that one can use whichever bathroom one's gender presentation is...so now I'm using the lady's room, without incident. (The girls know me here.)

I'm not quite so bold yet out in public...

Been thinking on this even more.

It's irksome in some ways and just an opening to make the matter a moment to just enjoy some inventive humour if you think about it.

Hey sometimes you need to learn a sense of humour to deal with the dumb crap of the world eh.

So the woman glowers at you, take charge of the situation.

"My husband often looks like that when he's off his fibre, are you one of his co workers?"

In reply to "you know this is the ladies washroom?" You respond with, "well I sure hope so, I once walked into the men's room and my god was it ever embarrassing, why do you ask?

When I was spending most of my time at a hospital a while back, they had tons of unisex washrooms. I remember how relieved I was. Since pretty much puberty I've just adapted to not using bathrooms in public at all. And now, I would never willingly give myself away by walking into a women's washroom, but I don't have nearly enough confidence to start using the men's room. Just having the choice is nice. Having the option to not have to deal with idiots when I'm trying to take a leak, sounds good  If I do really have to use the bathroom I'll use the women's room (because I'm pre T and Idk that makes sense in my head) and if I do get people asking me why I'm there or kindly telling me I must be confused I just brush it off, usually they get more embarrassed than I do, at least outwardly. I've yet to run into somebody who's really nasty about it

Having a unisex bathroom isn't a problem IMHO.  Having a trans bathroom is a huge problem.

Giving people the option is fine.  But not respecting who someone is...well, that's definitely not fine.  If someone is uncomfortable using the bathroom with a trans person, and complains to HR, the right way for HR to handle that complaint is to point out to the complainer where there is a single-stall bathroom available if they are uncomfortable sharing a bathroom with their coworkers.

But you don't discriminate against a trans person (or anyone else) just because some third person doesn't like something.

Quote from: kkut on April 05, 2013, 01:16:10 PM
No matter how I present, I always use the bathroom designated for my current biological sex.

Doesn't that out you?

Sylvannus I think you have a really good point here. If one can choose to use a unisex toilet, that is indeed convenience. But if one is instructed or forced to use it, then I think you're right and that it is discrimination.

I didn't start using the women's until I started getting chased out of the men's - apart from a few, select venues where I used the women's all along. I had one issue in a workplace, where the rumour mill had gotten around, where a woman complained about me using the women's - she was told that she was free to use any other women's bathroom in the building.

And whilst it may be discriminatory to suggest you use a unisex bathroom, look at it this way, at least they have one and you are not being forced to use the men's.

I use the women's unless there is a unisex available. I'm pre-op.

I've been a janitor.

To be honest, I prefer using the cleaner one.

Sometimes the men's are actually cleaner. Not all women have common sense.

Men tend to go in, pee and then leave. Women tend to have more reasons to do more things, and the longer you have a person using a place, the more capacity there is to make a mess.

Men don't tend to fuss with make up. No pads of course. Then can enter and be done and out of a washroom so much faster than women. I've been in a washroom following a movie, and I can assure you, after a film I'd rather stand in a dress peeing standing while two males stand peeing beside me, as opposed to using the ladies room and waiting for stalls to arrive.

Sure they will stare at the woman peeing beside them. You just tell, them 'lost a bet' they laugh, you laugh then you adjust your dress and walk out the door.

I think some times some of us go out of our way to make our lives a hell.

I can see myself doing this. Standing peeing, dress held up out of the way panties pulled down out of the way, peeing, and this guy staring, and me saying matter of factly 'would you mind not looking up my dress?'.

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on April 05, 2013, 07:58:19 PM
I can see myself doing this. Standing peeing, dress held up out of the way panties pulled down out of the way, peeing, and this guy staring, and me saying matter of factly 'would you mind not looking up my dress?'.

ROFL