Quote from: Beth Andrea on April 04, 2013, 07:09:48 PM
OMG

*double face palm*

It is funny (odd) that so many straight people assume that SRS is ONLY so we can experience sex as a girl...and that the only "sex" is vaginal intercourse...no wonder foreplay is unheard of (among males).

Aye - most people seem to think of SRS the way they think of penetrative sex anyway: that anything else is "just foreplay" . And I've had That Conversation with a Feminist (just the once, thank goodness) which led me to have to say "Sorry, you've lost me - what does me having SRS have to do with having sex? Do you know anyone who got an artificial arm so they could masturbate better?"

Quote from: Padma on April 05, 2013, 02:02:04 AM
Aye - most people seem to think of SRS the way they think of penetrative sex anyway: that anything else is "just foreplay" . And I've had That Conversation with a Feminist (just the once, thank goodness) which led me to have to say "Sorry, you've lost me - what does me having SRS have to do with having sex? Do you know anyone who got an artificial arm so they could masturbate better?"

Heh. The king of this mindset was Bill Clinton, who swore blind that he did not have sexual relations with Monica Lewinsky. Because it had been oral sex you see. He successfully argued in court that receiving oral sex did not constitute 'sexual relations' because he wasn't actively involved. 

Some of us (I think I would be one) are actually more about getting rid of, as opposed to replacing something with another.

I don't want a vagina necessarily just so I can have sex as a woman, as much as I want to be rid of the male sex organs that I just don't identify with.

I'd be ok sitting to pee from a non organ to be honest.

I'd be ok having NOTHING to have sex with. I've been annoyed by a craving for sex long enough. I've likely had sex more often than all of my friends combined.

I don't have any fantasies of wearing something sexy and being ravaged by a man and used as a woman.

I have aaaaaaaabsolutely no desire to be told any of the cliches men speak when having sex.

I'd love to be able to wake, and not need sex, able to look out the window and the only thing on my mind was the weather. Able to go through the morning, and no thought of sex, the afternoon and no thought of sex, all evening long and no need of sex. All week, and all month long and no need of sex.

I think it the wife were asked, she'd likely be fine with it too. I'd be more than willing to aid her in her needs when she wanted it.

Why do I need SRS? for the same reason I take out the trash actually.

Yeah...it's really annoying. And Mother Dearest was responsible for that one. This caught me off-guard, though- I was walking with my boyfriend, and he was daring me to pick up a girl and have some sort of one night stand (but I don't do that ;-;) and I said that even if I wanted to I couldn't because a) I don't have the right equipment and b) I don't have a way of ordering something that can act as a quick fix (i.e. hard packer) until they either improve the bottom surgery technique or I break down and get it as it is.

He said to me, "Then have sex as a lesbian."
My initial reaction was just "...What?", but then he said that I'd be a lesbian if I were pursuing a girl and after a bit of "No!" "Yes." "No!" bickering, he said I'm biologically female so I'd be a lesbian. Of course, that was horribly triggering and I froze and then shut down.

We discussed that afterwards and he said he's accepting but it's confusing trying to know what is and isn't okay. I'd say calling a guy stuck in a female body and trying to lay claim to the masculinity being kept from him a lesbian in some weird hypothetical is a big no. I've already made it clear to him that I have no identification that way. Jeez.

...At least he was sorry and promised not to now that he knows better.

Quote from: Liminal Stranger on April 05, 2013, 08:16:36 PM
Yeah...it's really annoying. And Mother Dearest was responsible for that one. This caught me off-guard, though- I was walking with my boyfriend, and he was daring me to pick up a girl and have some sort of one night stand (but I don't do that ;-;) and I said that even if I wanted to I couldn't because a) I don't have the right equipment and b) I don't have a way of ordering something that can act as a quick fix (i.e. hard packer) until they either improve the bottom surgery technique or I break down and get it as it is.

He said to me, "Then have sex as a lesbian."
My initial reaction was just "...What?", but then he said that I'd be a lesbian if I were pursuing a girl and after a bit of "No!" "Yes." "No!" bickering, he said I'm biologically female so I'd be a lesbian. Of course, that was horribly triggering and I froze and then shut down.

We discussed that afterwards and he said he's accepting but it's confusing trying to know what is and isn't okay. I'd say calling a guy stuck in a female body and trying to lay claim to the masculinity being kept from him a lesbian in some weird hypothetical is a big no. I've already made it clear to him that I have no identification that way. Jeez.

...At least he was sorry and promised not to now that he knows better.

(Same thing but in reverse)

Sounds similar to how I don't/would absolutely HATE being perceived as gay if I chose a relationship with a guy.

I've met gay guys...I don't want my "parts" being played with like they do...it would just feel so wrong to have a guy do that to me.

Well I haven't really told too many people yet and for those that I've told about myself I've kind of now stopped completely to talk about anything trans related, as I've gotten sick and tired to the "accepting" comments that I've gotten, when I've told about myself:

"It's ok dear, you will always remain a son to us"

"It's ok. You will always remain xxxxx (insert the name I was given at birth) to us"

"It's ok. You know there is nothing to be ashamed of being a gay man"

Yeah thanks. Let's not ever again talk anything trans related.

"So, when's the surgery?"

...asked nearly everytime certain people see me. Not in a hurtful way, they just seem...I don't know, ignorant?

Yeah, people are obsessively fascinated about "the surgery". Even complete strangers seem to feel it's okay to make enquiries about what's between my legs and what I plan to do about that.

Last night, someone I was meeting for the first time asked me "so... which way are you going?" I assumed she just hasn't met many trans people, and was trying to make sure she didn't get it wrong.

Oh yeah.  "Why haven't you had surgery yet?"

And then when I explain that it's really expensive and even if I had insurance, it wouldn't be covered: "Is it really worth that much money?"

"In another year, you can be part of *some woman's group*" No, no I can't. And even if I could, I wouldn't. On the plus side, her sister pointed out, "Victor's a guy." Which is great even though she does still keep calling me "she." At least now I know it's just a slip up.

"JOIN OUR WOMEN'S ENGINEERING FORUM SO THAT YOU CAN SIT DOWN AND DISCUSS ISSUES ABOUT BEING PART OF AN UNDERREPRESENTED GROUP IN THE FIELD OF ENGINEERING"

...No. Make a trans group and we'll talk.

"You're going to be injecting yourself with needles? Why would you want to do that? It isn't like you have diabetes or something. You don't need to."

They act like I'm a drug addict and I'm not even on HRT yet.

Got these gem from my dad today:

"So I guess you'll never get married, right?"

"What does that do to your life?"

"Why can't they just give you pills or something to make you feel better like you are?"

Quote from: Lrouk on April 14, 2013, 12:46:12 PM
Got these gem from my dad today:

"So I guess you'll never get married, right?"  "Well, you did...so I guess there's hope for me yet."

"What does that do to your life?" "It puts me on-track to be happy about myself."

"Why can't they just give you pills or something to make you feel better like you are?" Taking pills isn't the same thing as having a penis...oh wait, do you take Viagra..?"

LOL, sorry just felt a little...snarky...today.

"You're not transgender, you don't want a penis."
"You want a penis?! Get out of here, you make me sick!"
"So wait, do you get it or..."

Or even better-
*posts a happy birthday message on someone's wall, name is clearly listed as Max*
"Aww, thanks *birth name*!  "
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHnonononono. I already asked you not to, you said you supported this and that I shouldn't let anyone tell me how to live and all that stuff. Now I have to grow my hair out *and* you still call me that name?

"You can use a nickname for college. How about Rena? Or I know! Rain!"
"No, it has to be derived from your legal name, I looked it up already." (Oh really?)
"Stop your nonsense already. I'll call you what I want."
"Just go back to being how you were before."
"I know you better than anyone else, even you."
"Stop throwing your life away."
"We're not discussing this anymore, this is sick and disgusting."
"No one will ever love you."
"He's just saying that because he wants to use you. He'll run in the other direction if you do anything to f**k up your body."
"You're not f**king up your body. I won't let you."
"Stop telling people, do you want everyone to know you're a freak?"
"You didn't have any signs of this at puberty."
"All those people know when they're 4 or 5."
"If you had known back then maybe it would have been different."
"Mental illness goes hand in hand with that."
"You're on 'the spectrum', that's autism not transgender s**t."
"You told me everything back then, you're lying." (Yeah okay, that's why you don't know about half the things that happened when I was little)
"If you think you're going to play your mind games on a psychiatrist and trick them into believing your little made-up stories, then you're sadly mistaken.
"You're never going to look like a real man."

frak you :c

Makes me sad to read all those comments, no matter that I've gotten to taste some of the same comments.

Still it is sad 

The more I read this thread, the more I realize, 't r a n s i t i o n' its a word that doesn't apply to transgender people, it applies to the people around a transgender person.

I am not in transition, I am merely a person in an inconvenient form. I am not going towards being something, I went there a long ways back. I took an entire day, it happened, it's done.

I realized I was a woman. I had been unable to see it for a long time. I was in denial, not transition.

Transition, it is the process by which people slowly or even glacially come to grips with the fact I am not a guy, not in possession of a man card to offer up for silly transgressions of cliche guy behaviour. I have no desire to be called he him his mister or sir. My name is as I said it was, and calling me something else, is not appreciated. I am not your uncle, and I am not going to be a brother.

I am not suffering from a disease, a disorder, or an illness. The field of psychiatry is not nearly as clever or as smart as it sometimes likes to think it is. And I know this thanks to decades of REAL sciences that know a whole lot more. Consider this, how many of the shrinks/social workers you have met, are also skilled MDs, biologists, anthropologists, botanists, chemists, neurologists as well. Because they often seem to act like they think they are.

Some of the people I know have transitioned well. I told them, they chuckled with me, they moved on. Some thought I had a problem from a different route entirely. Some likely tuned out. I suspect some just don't care either way. My sister can't fathom calling me my new name. Oh well, I actually find myself in the same room as my sister, maybe once in a year. If I live as long as dad did, that means I might need to put up with it maybe 40 times more in my remaining life. There's a limit I will go to for things not important eh.

I tend to prefer to fret over people I see many times a week.

There really is only one response to give to people clearly not interested in us, as us, they way we wish to be treated eh. It goes something like 'piss off then'

Stop wasting your life trying to change people. After all, we don't like people trying to change us.

They are either with us or against us. I'm not in the mood for coping for a large swath of 'not really sure about them at the moment' type people.

They either get it, or they get left behind.

Talking about a definition of a real woman at one message board and this brain fart came up:

QuoteI don't endorse the sex/gender distinction, a trans is a trans, NOT a woman.

I seriously feel like this is one of those people who can't take their head out of their butt to listen to reason.

QuoteI don't endorse the sex/gender distinction, a trans is a trans, NOT a woman

...And a dickweed is a dickweed...

Before I had my surgery my sister said "you dont have to have surgery, you can just be gay" 

But on a slightly happier note while discussing my  life and feelings with my mom she said she knew before i did  so I asked her what she meant, and she said the first time I opened my mouth, and even before, because I acted just like my sister. this has made me very happy and to put the cherry on the proverbial cake she has been usisng my name now to me,my sister, everyone