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Why don't trans people help other trans people?

Started by Rabbit, April 08, 2013, 05:14:30 PM

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Rabbit

So, this is something I've been pretty curious about and learning a lot more about over the last couple months.

With my latest project, I've been researching transgender investors and other trans specific organizations that are set up to help combat the gross discrimination our segment faces.

What I found out is... well... there aren't any.

I also found some articles covering the subject. That the more successful trans people are stealth, and they disassociate themselves from "the community". I also see the divided attitude a lot in other places... and have even been confronted with people who are trans and say they have no responsibility towards other trans people and helping someone succeed just because they are trans is wrong.

I don't know, just seems pretty odd to me. It isn't like discrimination or the lack of opportunity for trans people is something that is unknown or questioned (( http://transequality.org/PDFs/Executive_Summary.pdf )).

So, I just don't get why there aren't more proactive trans things lead by successful trans people? No funds. No grants. No anything.

I'm not even talking for surgery or anything transition related (which we know is expensive in itself). I'm just talking about helping each other rise professionally.

The best there seem to be is women specific funds. Or wider LGBT funds. Which, I guess is better than nothing. But, really, you would think trans specific would be there too (since trans face WAY higher discrimination issues).
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suzifrommd

Well, in my state we have the Maryland Coalition for Trans equality (http://mdtransequality.org/).

But to answer your question, I think a lot of trans women and trans men don't want continual reminders that they are trans women and trans men. They just want to think of themselves as women and men.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Jayr

Don't assume because someone is living stealth that it means they don't contribute to the community.
There are millions of ways to contribute anonymously.

Someone could donate thousands to an lgb t group without disclosing there identity, therefor you'd never know they were trans.
Or many many trans guys and girls anonymously run blogs and support sites helping trans people.
I even know a guy on tumblr, who got his whole top surgery funded by an anonymous trans brother.

Most of us don't like the media attention.
We want to live as ordinary folks, nothing special or unique about us.

If you're comfortable with everyone knowing you're trans than awesome.
Let people know and educate them without being anonymous.
But that's not the case for most of us.

Quote from: suzifrommd on April 08, 2013, 05:26:04 PM
But to answer your question, I think a lot of trans women and trans men don't want continual reminders that they are trans women and trans men. They just want to think of themselves as women and men.

+11111





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Natkat

Well, there is groups who deal with trans folks only but most groups are connected with the GLBT as a whole and not the trans issue only.
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I think it depends on your personal view on how you see it, if your personal invold or not.
to make it very black and white I could say there is 2 groups

theres a group who go thought transition and they feel somehow the need to pay back to the comunety or to help others as they been helped, a get and give moral. I cant speak for averyone but I think its not abnormal that many of those things of the transpeople as part of there people, some of them even as famely.

theres also a group who go thought transition but they dont feel they need to pay anything back to anyone, they dont feel they need to help and for a guess I think they dont have as strongly a connection with other trans people as the group above so they rather use there energy on other things than on "random people who tend to be in the same situation"
-----
beside those 2 theres sure many exeptions of people who somehow cant suport or where its very risky or difficult and bla bla..

I have a teori that trans comunetys who face less fights often got alot more transpeople, but also more transpeople who take there transition for granted and just leave, while in comunetys who face more difficult problems its often less people who is open due to fear, but those who is there often get more connected and into activism.



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Tristan

Idk ? I don't tend to get along with other trans girl that I know in my Area. The two I know told me how unfair it was that I got to transition and have surgeries so fast and my h younger than them and it should have been them getting srs. After that conversation that was it. Now Susan's is the only trans interaction I have for the must part. But everyone in the site is cool and chill so I really can't tell you why?
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Devlyn

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Beth Andrea

If I ever become independently wealthy, I'd create a "front organization" to help trans-people, with education assist, some basic living support, perhaps even a low-cost group insurance (wouldn't cover the surgeries, though; "low-cost" and "surgeries" don't go together LOL)

Of course I'd be anonymous, and the org would be headed by qualified people, either TG themselves, or 100% TG-friendly.

(This is offered as an idea to anyone who is already independently wealthy, and just can't figure out what to do)

Oh, you can honor me later, I'm not into accolades. ;-)
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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KayCeeDee

Individually I think we do stick together and help one another out.
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luna

Quote from: Orihime on April 08, 2013, 06:22:06 PM
Individually I think we do stick together and help one another out.

That has not been my experience with my local group. In fact, when I asked one of my group for the number to where she gets electrolysis, I was told she was afraid she'd lose hours with her if she took on yet another client -- and she wouldn't give me any information. Same with therapists.

I'm only in therapy now (and getting set up with HRT) due to an old ad I left on a therapy website that my therapist found shortly after I was on here complaining about how things suck around here in Upstate SC. She e-mailed me, set up an appointment, and hooked me up with an endocrinologist. Waiting on the call from them for HRT... but this is all separate from the so-called support group here. What I've noticed here is that their fear and their needs, in their minds, were more important than the possibility of me losing it and going cliff diving with no safety precautions.

But I don't think that's okay, so I've already given my therapist's name and number to people I know who are in the same situation here. I don't like being the hopeless bitchy type, and I don't like seeing other people that way either... so I help where I can. That's all I can do.


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Tristan

Quote from: luna on April 08, 2013, 06:43:01 PM
That has not been my experience with my local group. In fact, when I asked one of my group for the number to where she gets electrolysis, I was told she was afraid she'd lose hours with her if she took on yet another client -- and she wouldn't give me any information. Same with therapists.

I'm only in therapy now (and getting set up with HRT) due to an old ad I left on a therapy website that my therapist found shortly after I was on here complaining about how things su
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StellaB

Let's see...

There's about a dozen Equality Parades attended whilst I was in Poland, I was also one of the people behind TransParty in Warsaw which helped to raise awareness in Poland on trans issues..

I've had several tours of my plays in Iran for which I haven't received a single cent.

So many evenings spent sending countless e-mails to various figures, the times I've picketed outside Westminster.. places like the Russian Embassy..

The two or so years of working alongside campaigners such as Peter Tatchell in the UK

I think we're talking about something approaching fifteen years of quite a lot of LGBT and human rights activism

This isn't that much either, nor am I the only one. There's loads of transgendered activists and campaigners out there.

You don't really have to look that far to find us.

I'm sure we could even find a place for you if you ever found the bottle to come and join us on the front line at a march or rally or picket.
"The truth within me is more than the reality which surrounds me."
Constantin Stanislavski

Mistakes not only provide opportunities for learning but also make good stories.
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Devlyn

Quote from: Rabbit on April 08, 2013, 05:14:30 PM
So, this is something I've been pretty curious about and learning a lot more about over the last couple months.

With my latest project, I've been researching transgender investors and other trans specific organizations that are set up to help combat the gross discrimination our segment faces.

What I found out is... well... there aren't any.

I also found some articles covering the subject. That the more successful trans people are stealth, and they disassociate themselves from "the community". I also see the divided attitude a lot in other places... and have even been confronted with people who are trans and say they have no responsibility towards other trans people and helping someone succeed just because they are trans is wrong.

I don't know, just seems pretty odd to me. It isn't like discrimination or the lack of opportunity for trans people is something that is unknown or questioned (( http://transequality.org/PDFs/Executive_Summary.pdf )).

So, I just don't get why there aren't more proactive trans things lead by successful trans people? No funds. No grants. No anything.

I'm not even talking for surgery or anything transition related (which we know is expensive in itself). I'm just talking about helping each other rise professionally.

The best there seem to be is women specific funds. Or wider LGBT funds. Which, I guess is better than nothing. But, really, you would think trans specific would be there too (since trans face WAY higher discrimination issues).

I may be connecting dots that aren't there, but are you trying to find transgender specific groups or individuals to finance your gaming efforts?
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Rabbit

QuoteIf I ever become independently wealthy, I'd create a "front organization" to help trans-people, with education assist, some basic living support, perhaps even a low-cost group insurance (wouldn't cover the surgeries, though; "low-cost" and "surgeries" don't go together LOL)

If I had the resources, my biggest focus would probably be education and business. Basically, if you have a large segment of people who are discriminated from rising as easily within organizations... give them the tools to rise outside of them (and look at it as investments, since that type of investing you would have ever larger numbers of successful trans people popping up and feeling as if they owed the same type of thing back to others).

QuoteI think we're talking about something approaching fifteen years of quite a lot of LGBT and human rights activism

Ohhh, I wasn't talking about activism (which is great of course). I meant more support in raising trans people up professionally. Funds and other programs designed specifically with an eye towards business. (Of which there are a lot for other groups, just non I've found as trans specific).

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 08, 2013, 07:51:26 PM
I may be connecting dots that aren't there, but are you trying to find transgender specific groups or individuals to finance your gaming efforts?

That's what I've been researching for lately :) Looking into the entire climate for investing and start ups and other types of things like that. Especially if I shift the game more heavily into activism (which, I think games can be an extremely powerful source for).

Also, posting on various lgbt sources and with the entire being more public thing I've been reading responses from people have towards me (both trans and non trans).
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Devlyn

I'll ask you the uncomfortable question a lender would ask: "By appealing to a niche market, aren't you limiting your sales potential and future growth?"
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peky

I think a more in-depth research will show you that there are literally thousand of transgender individuals who donate time and moneys to better the lives of fellow tg/ts.

Here, this forum is a testimony to Susan's devotion to help tg/ts individual. Susan, her family, and many members of Susan's forum put monies and hours of their time in keeping this forum up and running to the benefit of us all, cis and trans people.

Heres is the link to the Jim Collins foundation, http://jimcollinsfoundation.org/, which grants SRS for TS individuals who otherwise cannot afford it. The Jim Collins foundation is funded by patrons many of which are TS/TG themselves.

I can go on and on but you know what girl, you have work to do  :police:
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Rabbit

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 08, 2013, 08:11:37 PM
I'll ask you the uncomfortable question a lender would ask: "By appealing to a niche market, aren't you limiting your sales potential and future growth?"

That's the thing, it isn't a niche market. Indie games are HUGE business (especially given the recent success of games like Binding of Isaac , Braid, Super Meat Boy, or one that resembles Bloom very much, Bastion). All of those are making many many many millions. The thing is, indie games aren't about "sameness", the "artsy" style of Bloom along with the themes are huge draws for people who buy indie games (since they are specifically looking for new and different).

Also, given how I've been able to cut through the noise with just a tiny bit of alpha game play and concept art... it is a pretty safe bet that when this gets finished, it will get lots of attention (and, sony and microsoft are both interested in it). I even have a pretty famous PR firm that said they love the project and are there for me when I get to release (the ones who marketed temple run...which also made many many millions hehe).

Soooo, basically, if I make it... it makes a lot of money :P
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Rabbit

Quote from: peky on April 08, 2013, 08:25:32 PM
I think a more in-depth research will show you that there are literally thousand of transgender individuals who donate time and moneys to better the lives of fellow tg/ts.

Ohhh yea, I didn't mean to say all trans people aren't doing anything :P I'm more talking about specifically business advancement (which is what I've been researching lately).

Funds to help with surgery seem more like "giving a person a fish"...than "teaching a person to fish".
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Devlyn

Quote from: Rabbit on April 08, 2013, 08:32:16 PM
Ohhh yea, I didn't mean to say all trans people aren't doing anything :P I'm more talking about specifically business advancement (which is what I've been researching lately).

Funds to help with surgery seem more like "giving a person a fish"...than "teaching a person to fish".

I understand what you're saying, but I like to think of it as giving them the lifetime to fish. No sense teaching someone in the desert how to fish.
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Seyranna

For what it's worth I do help. I give voice feminization lessons for a reasonable fee around my area as well as coaching/trans empowerment meetups for free when I have the time.
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JoanneB

I have to totally disagree with the premise of trans folks as a whole do not help others. Also lumping LGBT organizations in is also a bit unfair. Especially when more often than not, T is for token. Trans specific support organizations are rare. Most, perhaps all, are geared towards the basics of life and transitioning. A many year long and difficult process.

As SuzifromMD  mentioned, there are TG specific organizations in MD, also my current almost home. THere is also the Whitman Walker clinic in DC that all my group members praise for all the help and guidance they provide. Both medical and with the burocracy.

I know in NJ, my home state, there is a network of lawyers helping TGs.

As far as business goes, I believe she is the head of Gender Rights MD, Sharron Brackett, is also a small business owner that hires only trans people.

In my TG group I do not think there is any active member who will not do all they can to help another member. This even extends to the work world with resume and interview skills. Even helping with coping skills like balancing jobs, time and expenses.

I am not a big fan of the term stealth as all emcompassing. I tend to divide full-time fully transitioned TSs into three camps. Deep stealth, stealth, and public. The simple fact is just about all late-transitioners cannot be deep-stealth. Meaning everyone short of immediate family members do not know your history. I put my wife in the deep stealth class having gone full-time in her 20's as well as moving out of state. Back in the 70's-80's that was the best option to preserve your life. Stealth to me means yes I am trans but I just want to go about my life keeping a relatively low profile. Yes, others know but no need to constantly broadcast it. Public are the advocates which vary in intensity. For the most part they are very up-front about being trans.

Any person who is working for a living, trying to keep a family and social life, and paying bills winds up with very little free time for much else. Grown ups lead boring lives. Yet in my TG group many are pro-active. They do outreach to various schools. We have been doing an annual TDOR vigil for about 7 years now? We tend to go to area LGBT public events such as last years rallies for the marriage bill. Though I basically have a very negative cash flow I still gave a donation to a MD PFLAG group which has a totally amazing group involved with it. I am sure I wasn't alone.
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