Just for Ellen
Subject: Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder (AAADD)
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I
look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the
porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go through
the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the
trashcan under the table, and noticed that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash
first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take
out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one
check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the
house to my desk, where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so
that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting
warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head
toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my
eye--they need to be watered. I set the Coke down on the counter, and I
discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water
and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the
remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide
to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the
flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe
up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was
planning to do.
At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have
enough water, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find
the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with
the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I
realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first
I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC
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