So. Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with a friend and his wife who are seeing my authentic self for this first time. They're very enthusiastic about seeing me, and I am about seeing them, especially seeing him. That's the problem. After almost eight months on hrt, I'm experiencing my first ever attraction to a man. It feels really wonderful, especially after having gone for so many months with zero libido. I have no designs on him, and I'm not deluded that he would find me attractive. But I'm totally new to this. Anyone have advice about keeping my sh*t together?

Jane

Sure, just remember his Wife is there.  He's married, find someone else.

Quote from: Sarah Louise on April 11, 2013, 06:19:33 PM
Sure, just remember his Wife is there.  He's married, find someone else.

Of course I'm looking elsewhere. That's what not having designs on someone means. I'm sorry if I gave another impression.

Quote from: Jennifer Sui Generis on April 11, 2013, 06:17:34 PM
So. Tomorrow night I'm having dinner with a friend and his wife who are seeing my authentic self for this first time. They're very enthusiastic about seeing me, and I am about seeing them, especially seeing him. That's the problem. After almost eight months on hrt, I'm experiencing my first ever attraction to a man. It feels really wonderful, especially after having gone for so many months with zero libido. I have no designs on him, and I'm not deluded that he would find me attractive. But I'm totally new to this. Anyone have advice about keeping my sh*t together?

Jane

Avoid the wine? lol

Inhibitions and all that...

Find a flaw and focus on it. Everyone has a flaw 

That's also what I do to get over some guys, no ones perfect and it's good to exaggerate it when you really know you shouldn't pursue it!

Dammit, Sky-Blue. I'm bringing the wine. I'll nurse it slowly.  Aleah, your advice is excellent. The best their is. It's also Ovid's idea from his classic work, Remedia Amoris (The Love Cure). Like all great ideas, of course, it never works. 

Seriously, I love this couple very much. I value their friendship above almost everything, and don't want to risk it. My question had a lot more to do with the issue of handling the new feelings. Being turned on as a woman is an entirely different experience, a long succession of luna moth flips in the deepest part of my being. Before hrt, I was exclusively attracted to women. After hrt, my libido flatlined. But, now, it's back and completely new.

Plus, this is only my fifth time appearing in public as a woman and the first time being in an extensive conversation with a man while appearing in my natural state. So I'll be adjusting to a lot of new things tonight.

Thanks for the advice. I'll be good.

Quote from: Jennifer Sui Generis on April 11, 2013, 06:17:34 PM
Anyone have advice about keeping my sh*t together?

Attraction =/= Action

Focus on images of people you find attractive on TV, movies, magazines, internet, etc. Realize you can look without necessarily doing anything about it.

That way when you do meet someone that attracts you, you can take it slow. Flirt a little. See if they flirt back. Etc.

You could also do what they did in ancient times, just water your own wine down a little bit. Maybe just add a third or less of water to your glass...idk

The reason I said avoid the wine is just because I get way more feminine (also gets rid of my inhibitions about being attracted to guys) when I drink...which has led to awkward things such as me molesting a bottle with my tongue (in order to flirt)...rofl

Quote from: Sky-Blue on April 12, 2013, 11:42:40 AM
You could also do what they did in ancient times, just water your own wine down a little bit. Maybe just add a third or less of water to your glass...idk

The reason I said avoid the wine is just because I get way more feminine (also gets rid of my inhibitions about being attracted to guys) when I drink...which has led to awkward things such as me molesting a bottle with my tongue (in order to flirt)...rofl

exact same thing happens to me lol..

avoid alcohol with men period unless you dont mind being put on your back...

Quote from: Sky-Blue on April 12, 2013, 11:42:40 AM
...which has led to awkward things such as me molesting a bottle with my tongue (in order to flirt)...rofl

Didn't need that mental image. Lols 

Quote from: Sky-Blue on April 12, 2013, 11:42:40 AM
You could also do what they did in ancient times, just water your own wine down a little bit. Maybe just add a third or less of water to your glass...idk

The reason I said avoid the wine is just because I get way more feminine (also gets rid of my inhibitions about being attracted to guys) when I drink...which has led to awkward things such as me molesting a bottle with my tongue (in order to flirt)...rofl

I have never molested a bottle to flirt with anyone but I do feel more feminine(the layer of fear goes away) and well I do get funny sexual thoughts :3 but thats a ~s e c r e t~ -giggles-

Okay...fine I admit the bottle thing was an extreme example, and it only happened once...but just prepare for the worst so that you can have the best time possible(?)

Just wanted to report to you folks that the evening was uneventfully wonderful!  The couple kept escalating the get-together until it turned into a full-scale debutante ball among people who know and support me, but have not yet seen me. I was so touched that when I got home I sobbed from all accumulated emotion. I'm really lucky to have such friends.

Speaking of wine-bottle flirtations, by the end of the night the five of us remaining were drinking straight from last bottle of wine.

Thanks for the advice about not drinking. I'm definitely going to follow it next time. 

On a completely irrelevant note, my young son, who's next to me, wants me to hit the emoticon.

Quote from: Jennifer Sui Generis on April 13, 2013, 09:20:11 AM
On a completely irrelevant note, my young son, who's next to me, wants me to hit the emoticon.

Aww

Quote from: Jennifer Sui Generis on April 13, 2013, 09:20:11 AM
Just wanted to report to you folks that the evening was uneventfully wonderful!  The couple kept escalating the get-together until it turned into a full-scale debutante ball among people who know and support me, but have not yet seen me. I was so touched that when I got home I sobbed from all accumulated emotion. I'm really lucky to have such friends.

Speaking of wine-bottle flirtations, by the end of the night the five of us remaining were drinking straight from last bottle of wine.

Thanks for the advice about not drinking. I'm definitely going to follow it next time. 

On a completely irrelevant note, my young son, who's next to me, wants me to hit the emoticon.

Good to hear it all went well.

Glad it went well.  I was going to say, before realising I came late to the party, as I went through more or less the same thing during transition a long time ago, was to focus on what you had been through in your friendship.  That seemed to quell any newfound romantic thoughts I had.

You girls (I think all respondents are women) have been so helpful. I'm enjoying my awakening female sexuality, even if it is a complete pain in the ass (not literally, of course.)