So, I am a pre op Straight Transgender M2F, Attracted to males, Whether born male or F2M. Actually i never dated a F2M. Anyhow, I was waiting till after The change to look for a relationship... but I decided if I could find a relationship now, I feel that I am ready for one.

Its been a year since my last 3 year relationship, I want to settle down and commit, Which I always have been but I didn't love myself so I loved my partners With enough Love for Two People and they sometimes felt overwelmed... Anymore, so many people are about sex and I was looking on google for trans dating sites, and it came up with
Tsmeet.Com and XDating.com which both looks sexual.... and
Transpassions.com and transgenderdate.com I don't know anything about them and
Okcupid.com seemed the most mature... but I didn't do too much investigating.. I thought some of you would have more knowledge of this and have pointers and advice. Thank you for your help and Comments.

~ Kathryn Snow Loomis <3 ~

I don't bother with dating sites. Most seem to be just places for ->-bleeped-<-s to lurk.

I just got out and about and met people, but not really seeking a partner. And then a friend turned in to something more.

Quote from: Kelly the Trans-Rebel on April 16, 2013, 07:17:14 PM
I don't bother with dating sites. Most seem to be just places for ->-bleeped-<-s to lurk.

I just got out and about and met people, but not really seeking a partner. And then a friend turned in to something more.

Yep yep  yep..   The harder you look the worse you find.  Just go out and have fun the rest will follow.  Usually where and when you least expect it.

Agreed

Best to go out and meet some people and see what happens. That's how they did it before the Internets.


...that's my plan anyways.

Yeah, But I Don't know where to go or how to approach people. I live in a small town by two smaller towns... Deep in TN

Quote from: Lorri Kat on April 16, 2013, 07:26:30 PM
Yep yep  yep..   The harder you look the worse you find.  Just go out and have fun the rest will follow.  Usually where and when you least expect it.

The Bold bit is the the real surprise. My current partner was the last person I ever expected to be with - she was apparently a straight woman, although it seems I was as wrong about that as she was.

Quote from: Wispurr on April 16, 2013, 08:38:34 PM
Yeah, But I Don't know where to go or how to approach people. I live in a small town by two smaller towns... Deep in TN

http://knoxville.myglbtcommunity.com/   <--- Have you tried there yet!?!   Sometimes it takes a bit..  You need to get to know or talk to someone that knows someone to make social/group connections in places that are ...umm   ....less then friendly.     You will find after a bit that there are people closer to you then you think!   

Pre-interviews are not uncommon  before people are allowed to join smaller groups in the interest for security of members. 

P.S  You could even throw a shout out on here for others in Tennesse...

I hate dating sites.

I register, write up something about myself, send out "Hi there!" messages, see that people visit my profile...

And a few months later, I have exactly ZERO actual contacts. Maybe I need to change my deodorant...I stink on teh Interwebz...

Here's the thing about dating sites in general; the only good looking people on them are actually Russian spambots and/or serial killers. The normal looking people will never reply to any of your messages, and the rest are escaped mental patients. The smaller or more niche the site, the more that rule applies - Match.com may suck, but TallGayAsians.com would suck exponentially harder.... Sounds bitter, but it's just my two cents from having been there over and over again. That being said, I live in the middle of nowhere, have no friends/family for hundreds of miles and would also like to hear any suggestions on how to meet friends.

I just went on OkCupid.com and presented as a normal girl and now I have a nice boyfriend. OkCupid is a normal dating site and by far the best available, just stay away from TS dating sites, they are FULL of sleazy ->-bleeped-<-s and nothing else..

I got so many messages, and telling each one I was pre-op, was exhausting. So I just added it to the start of my profile, considerably reduced the number but still got quite a few. Just have to filter out the ->-bleeped-<-s still.

But it does work, especially if you are in a new city, at least good to meet some people and go out 

To you girls asking about how to meet people.

Do you have Hobbies? Interests? Things you like to do for fun? Don't say no because I know you do.

There are plenty of groups and events even in small places where you can meet like minded people.

If you're looking to meet new people you need to go where people are. Then you need to strike up conversations with these people and basically follow-up on those conversations. Bookstores, Bars/diners or bars that are diners, support groups, cooking classes or other classes are all great places to meet people. You have to be very careful with bars though as some are really good places to meet people but some are simply the wost place to meet people. Atmosphere is everything in that case, in my experience.

What you can't do and what will get you nowhere is expecting people to come up to you. I used to be really shy but learned to be an extrovert and I just put myself out there. I talk to people, friend them on FB, get their number, text them, etc, etc. It really works and if you get out of your comfort zone and put yourself out there I promise you that in no time you'll have new friends or a new relationship and maybe even both. It really works!

Edit: Or take a community college class! It's cheap and there's tons of people. Night classes are great if you're a bit older and want to avoid the straight outta high school  crowd. I'm 30 so that would be a bit awkward. Night classes rock!

Quote from: RevennaFox on April 16, 2013, 11:23:14 PM
Here's the thing about dating sites in general; the only good looking people on them are actually Russian spambots and/or serial killers. The normal looking people will never reply to any of your messages, and the rest are escaped mental patients. The smaller or more niche the site, the more that rule applies - Match.com may suck, but TallGayAsians.com would suck exponentially harder.... Sounds bitter, but it's just my two cents from having been there over and over again. That being said, I live in the middle of nowhere, have no friends/family for hundreds of miles and would also like to hear any suggestions on how to meet friends.

Post more here.  We are not a dating site, but the members are friendly and understand your situation.

Quote from: The Old Gray Mare on April 17, 2013, 02:23:42 AM
Post more here.  We are not a dating site, but the members are friendly and understand your situation.

Some of the best advice, PM people too, you'll be surprised. I've made a few friends on here 

I am curious, are all dating sites related to the trans community all that bad?  And are the guys all on these sites really as bad as some claim or even worse?  I haven't tried the dating site route because I haven't started transitioning yet because of finances, but I plan on doing so ASAP.  However, I would like to try dating someone that would be accepting of my situation even if it's more of a casual thing.  Of course, I will wait a bit to pass more before doing so, but I think the dating sites sound like a decent place to start.  I can't imagine meeting somebody in person anytime soon and don't think I would pass enough attract men initially.  So, I was considering going on a dating site once I start hrt.  Is it that a bad idea?  Are all the men that bad and perverted?

By the way, do any of the straight women here have experience dating gay men prior to transitioning?  I was thinking of meeting people through a gay dating site for a casual relationship while starting my transition.  If I met anyone special, I would tell them of course, but I doubt it would work for obvious reasons.  However, did it ever work for anyone here?  I am very doubtful, but I never really got to date and would like to do so.

TVChix.com was the only decent, legit and moderated trans dating site I had success with. I met my best friend on there, another trans girl, and I had some good experiences but too many ->-bleeped-<-s. Not many people and mainly only good for UK/Aus, dunno how many people from US use it.

Dating sites can be a great way to meet people if you use common sense to meet the right people. In dating sure land, many men are interested in me, as in after meeting there are a significant portion that show genuine interest, being more at ease to show it being a clear 'date' context, but from everyday meetings almost no man had ever shown interest, through shyness or just me not being their type. The dating game is.what you make it, expect to find weirdos and they'll swarm to you.

I'm on OKCupid, and while I've had a decent amount of contacts (usually initiated by me), they've all gone nowhere. And yes, I do disclose in my profile, so I think that's probably why.

But the thing is, being trans is part of my life and part of the lives of some of my loved ones. I couldn't be in a relationship with somebody who had a problem with trans persons.

The oddest is when a person's OKCupid profile says they're interested in "Everybody" but then reply to a message saying they aren't interested in dating a trans person. Must be using an alternative definition of "everybody" that I'm not aware of.

Hey I didn't read through the replies, but none of the gg girls I know can get a legit date with a normal guy on dating sites...I don't think that it is their standards being high just way to many guys are on there for sex. So yeah being trans makes it harder, but it's already pretty hard for online(don't give up though!)

Quote from: Emm on April 19, 2013, 12:19:40 AM
Hey I didn't read through the replies, but none of the gg girls I know can get a legit date with a normal guy on dating sites...I don't think that it is their standards being high just way to many guys are on there for sex. So yeah being trans makes it harder, but it's already pretty hard for online(don't give up though!)

Thank you Emm! :3