Hi. I'm Elliot. I'm, uh... really new here.
I don't really know what to say to introduce myself... so this will probably end up being one of those tl;dr posts.
I'm going to be 25 at the end of this month. I'm a newly...uh...awakened? ftm transgender... person. Ever since I can remember, I always knew there was something off about me. Growing up in a very Christian household, I knew that I was a freak because I looked at boys and girls with the same attraction. It wasn't until high school that I realized, 'Oh, being bisexual is a thing that is okay.' And from there I embraced it. It was about that time that I started to struggle with a new issue... whether or not I was in the right physical body.
I've always been a bit of an enigma, a tomboy at heart that likes to dress up now and again... I was confused for several years, not realizing that you could be a boy in a girl's body and while being that way sucked for you, it wasn't, like, an unheard of or weird thing. It wasn't until recently, however, that I finally sat down with myself and came to my eureka moment and really accepted the fact that yes, I am a boy. Or I'm supposed to be, anyway.
I've outed myself to some of my closest friends--one of which responded with something to the effect of 'duh, dude, I totally already knew that.' I can't do the same with my family because right now I sort of depend on my mother for a place to live, and when I came out a few years ago and told her that I was dating another girl, it didn't go so well. She called me every name you can think of, tried to disown me, threatened to kill herself, you know, things like that. I had to actually crawl back into the closet to keep my mother in my life. So if I tried to explain to her that I was a boy on the inside, ....eh. I don't want to think about the repercussions of that. I plan to tell my family, but only when I'm self-sufficient and don't need to rely on them for financial support anymore.
So, uh... that's me? Oh! I'm working at JCPenney right now, closeted to my coworkers, and as soon as possible I plan to go back to school to finish learning what I love-cinematography. My plans are to some day move to LA and work in the film industry, preferably at a place called Maker Studios, which was founded by several of my favorite Youtube stars. Also I want a pig. A real pig. For a pet. SOMEDAY, haha...
So yes. That's me. I really need some LGBT friends, as I haven't anyone that I can really talk to, that really understands what I'm dealing with. My friends are great, I just... augh. You know what I'm trying to say. I'm intending to get into Portland drag king scene eventually, too, so that should be fun...
Anyway I hope I'm well-received. I'm just starting on my transitional journey and I'll need all the support I can get!
Thank you if you took the time to read this, and thank you even more if you take the time to reply!
-Elliot
