Hellow everybody
First of all, wauw what a great site, with such a diversity on subjects. I've read most of the Transgendered forum
already and keep coming back to this site for more information and reading about issues that plague us all.
Finding that everybody is so loving towards each other, I can't help but feeling drawn to this happy loving family.
Hoping in that in time you'll see me as one of your own. Which i don't doubt, given what I've read here already.
I'm Evy (MTF), 25 yrs old, living in Belgium, the land of beer, chocolate and waffles. ( Just what a girl needs
)
Knowing from a very early age(5), that there was something wrong with who i was and was suppose to be.
My mother told me that i was and had to be a boy, for societies sake, for my own well being in this world.
What had forced me to develop as boy out of fear what others would say or do if they ever found out.
Developing suicidal thoughts at an early age (10), i was forced to save myself the only way i could think of
by establishing my true self in my mind as Sabrina at the time, leaving Davy to act as a filter, correcting every
female action, thought, emotion and response to a male one. All because of fear of others.
With the onset of this new year, I had a mental/emotional breakdown, where i couldn't stand what I've become.
Which was a lie, an entity that was fiction, never real but my time spend as Davy made it real, though it doesn't
have any meaning to me. Realizing this i had the toughest breakdown ever in my life, at the point of suicide.
I thought to myself, why end it now, while you can still come out, and find out what this life can bring further.
At least then i could give my life some meaning. So after crying for 7 hours the whole night, my parents woke up,
my mother came to me, and out of fear that she would trow me out of the house, i couldn't tell her. After an hour
of crying my eyes out, I'd open my locked boxes, (which are filled with clothes, jewelery, makeup, shoes).
Revealing finally what I've kept secret for more then 20 years. It was like the whole world lifted of my shoulders.
To my greatest surprise, my family accepted me for who I really was. Though they never expected it, then again I
did my very best to hide it. The day after I immediately contacted a GP and 3 weeks later went in therapy.
And I'm from Belgium, unlike the states, here you have to have had a minimum of 10 sessions over the coarse of
one year before being able to get to a psychiatrist to ask for hormones, then they'll put you on a year of RLE
before you can get hormones. IT'S LIKE THE MIDDLE AGES HERE. To which i said, F the system, I'll start
on my own. While doing therapy, to be able to gain the trans status.
So on 21 of Feb 2013, I took the first pills. An other weight was lifted, not growing older as a male, but as a
female took 50% of my problems away.
My parents don't allow to go out for now dressed like i want, but I guess I respect that. Being acceptant of me
I cant complain. Still it brings it's own set of problems with.
Seeing how much I've already typed here, I won't dull you even more with my story.
Skipping along.
My findings: - First month: Emotional hell, omg and I didn't even realize the full extent till it was over after
6 weeks. Decreased sex drive (after 2 weeks). Less hair fallout (after 3 weeks).
Breast and nipple sensations (after 3 weeks), erratic sleep behavior.
Started laser hair removal (beard, armpits, chest, nipples)
- Second Month: Emotionally stable. Softer and drier skin. Fat in my breasts, enlargement of the nipples
slight weakening of muscle strength, slow body hair growth, stable sleeping.
Libido changed from visual stimulation to emotional stimulation
finally feel in control
Doing monthly blood works and seeing an endocrinologist.
This was a mere 'short' introduction to who i am. Doesn't even cover 5% of it. Never the less, if there's anybody
that can relate to this story, and needs help, I'm always reachable on
evy.stiers@live.be. I've learned allot through
all these problems, and I'm very willing to help others, it's feels to me like it's the only effort i can do to give my
life meaning again.
My love to all
Evy
