Scientifically I don't think anyone can safely claim something trans is congenital or not. But well, that's what we get for letting the awful being that is private insurance exist. Discrimination, and extremely silly discrimination at that, sometimes.

Quote from: A on April 23, 2013, 05:42:50 AM
Scientifically I don't think anyone can safely claim something trans is congenital or not. But well, that's what we get for letting the awful being that is private insurance exist. Discrimination, and extremely silly discrimination at that, sometimes.

Silly and painful.  This one cuts deep.

And today is the day I hope to find out if there is a chance they'll do the right thing.  I hope so.  Just if not... Even I could afford to take this financial hit my thing is what if something like a cisgendered woman complains about me using the women's room?  I currently do not beleive the company would  be my advocate and I'd be SOL.   Not that I want to bring that one up, don't want to give them ideas.

Quote from: Misato33 on April 23, 2013, 06:00:17 AM
Silly and painful.  This one cuts deep.

And today is the day I hope to find out if there is a chance they'll do the right thing.  I hope so.  Just if not... Even I could afford to take this financial hit my thing is what if something like a cisgendered woman complains about me using the women's room?  I currently do not beleive the company would  be my advocate and I'd be SOL.   Not that I want to bring that one up, don't want to give them ideas.

"The Company" must abide by the local laws regarding bathroom rights. Here in MD some counties have a TG protection law in place but not state-wide as yet. Most companies have a PC "Non-Discrimation" policy which often includes gender expression. A card that can come in handy to play. I have often mused about pointing out how the companies health insurance policy is in violation of their anti-discrimination policy 

BTW - I am curious. Are you considering not taking this job if they will not cover TG care? The sad fact is about all private companies do not.

How did it go?

Quote from: JoanneB on April 23, 2013, 05:15:40 PM
BTW - I am curious. Are you considering not taking this job if they will not cover TG care? The sad fact is about all private companies do not.

I took the job already.  I had coverage, at a private company, that I gave up to take this position.  I thought trans concerns were covered at the new job cause I thought I was looking at the plans that the Insurance offered on a website they gave me to review.  I went through each drop down menu item and my clinic showed up each time.  It wasn't until orientation a week ago that my whole world got up ended.

During my meeting I flat out asked, if a woman protested me using the women's restroom would HR have my back?  I got an unequivocal yes over that and I finally started to feel better.  They are going to push my medical needs up the ladder to see if they can get some movement.  I have faith and believe in these people, and I told them such.

So, it went well.  I did get a bit of a talking to about being effusive about my situation.  I didn't think I was.  New company is a bit more buttoned down than I'm used to.

I want to say this has all been too much, but by golly it's been A LOT to deal with.  I only went full time back in January, then my old company began to come undone, then the new position, then this insurance crap.  Ugh!  I'm sure one reason I was talking a lot is I was over stressed and I didn't know what to do.  Still, I wanted to make a good first impression and I think I marred it a bit.

But I learned, and I'm going to stay.  All my other options on the table are not desirable enough to make a break for it and I have to settle on a new place to live.  It's a bit of a leap of faith, but if things go south I have a backup plan and people I can call on to lend a hand.

Tonight, I'm just exhausted.

Sounds like it's going to be OK for you, get some rest and relax your brain hon. Sometimes we over think things, I'm guilty.

Quote from: Shantel on April 23, 2013, 06:51:33 PM
Sounds like it's going to be OK for you, get some rest and relax your brain hon. Sometimes we over think things, I'm guilty.

I was, and remain, worried about my finances.  But I am starting to relax.

One of the supervisors I talked to today, after finding out I was being too effusive, mentioned that some people have indicated that they'd like to go out to a happy hour and ask me questions.  I think I'm going to encourage that to happen.  I think if my co-workers learn how much I needed to transition, they'll understand why I got so bothered.

Quote from: Misato33 on April 23, 2013, 06:53:53 PM
I was, and remain, worried about my finances.  But I am starting to relax.

One of the supervisors I talked to today, after finding out I was being too effusive, mentioned that some people have indicated that they'd like to go out to a happy hour and ask me questions.  I think I'm going to encourage that to happen.  I think if my co-workers learn how much I needed to transition, they'll understand why I got so bothered.

That sounds positive, don't over indulge so as to let your guard down, you need to appear human but needn't set yourself up for bullying or any negative badgering because invariably someone like that will be present and you want to let them look like the bad guy in front of everyone else instead of you.

Quote from: Shantel on April 23, 2013, 07:01:36 PM
That sounds positive, don't over indulge so as to let your guard down, you need to appear human but needn't set yourself up for bullying or any negative badgering because invariably someone like that will be present and you want to let them look like the bad guy in front of everyone else instead of you.

I feel ya, and I doubt I'd have much of anything to drink.  I'd be more about getting my colleagues into an environment where they're more comfortable.  Part of the point would be if there's a poop in the group, get everyone else on my side, as you suggest.

Sounds like things are all right and looking better!

"a poop in the group"

That's Devlyn approved! Shan, when are you going to learn to talk nice like that? Hugs, Devlyn

When I worked for Valeo Sylvania, they had a similar wording in the health care policy regarding transgender care. The funny thing is, even though it said.my visits and medication wouldn't be covered, they were still covered. Of course SRS and such were not even up for debate. And Valeo Sylvania does not offer benefits to same sex partners. In one of quite a few HR meetings I had, I tried to get them to change their policy but no one wanted to listen. I still have quite a few gay and lesbian friends out there. And I wish I could have got them those benefits.

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 23, 2013, 07:32:57 PM
Sounds like things are all right and looking better!

"a poop in the group"

That's Devlyn approved! Shan, when are you going to learn to talk nice like that? Hugs, Devlyn

At my age we try not to consider poop in the group, no we don't want to think of poop period! 

Quote from: Devlyn Marie on April 23, 2013, 07:32:57 PM
Sounds like things are all right and looking better!

Better, yes.  As for all right, I think I still have a bit of a mess to deal with.  But I'm taking the gamble.  At least that makes me feel like I have some control back.

AND, if I end up with a story I can get to my dad about I got hired and got the company to provide at least some coverage after providing none (baby steps here)... that would be a must useful narrative to getting him to talk to me again, I think.

One thing I did at work when I came out was to tell people if they wanted to discuss something or were worried about something to come to me and ask me. I told them not to listen to rumours or here-say and that I was always willing to talk and explain stuff.

I didn't have any problems although the laws her are very much on our side, I cannot be discriminated against in any way means or form without suing the poop out of them. (See Devlyn a polite Aussie, first time you've met one? Heee Heee)

Well I was as open about my transition as you were Cindy. We all know how well that went. Fired from the company and gave them 2 EEOC violation charges: Sex Discrimination and Retaliation for the first charge.

Oh, you might actually be able to get hormones covered under sexual dysfunction. That's what my doctor has checkmarked and it has (Transsexualism) in that same box.

Mother puss bucket.

NOW my old employer is closing its doors outright at the end of the month so bye bye COBRA option.  Because of a 90 day waiting period before I can start what my new job "offers", I'm now looking at an insurance coverage hole I have to cover.

I did think to check my university's alumni association and there might be an viable option there.  Anyone have any experience with something like that?

What's bothering me the most now from all this is how nobody cares.  All I get is "be quiet".  "You're too effusive."  I admit, I am having a problem with my anger wih this.  I can't stand how it's making it so easy for me to touch the anger I wanted to leave behind with transition.

So they leave me alone to think my thoughts.  Now I think this policy implies I'm crazy or transitioning due to choice.  So my anger grows.

And I'm stuck.  How do I explain why I want to leave to a next job?  Will I even be happy there or will I be bothers by something else?  Why can't I just do my job?  As long as I have a job that pays the bills and doesn't cause me to violate my morals and that doesn't hurt me... I think I'd be happy.  This is an improvement, I no longer need nor want to derive meaning from my job.

I also can't stand that I'm being so troubled by all of this in light of the greater community.  Am I encouraging them to discriminate outright the next trans candidate cause i'm being such a handful?