I'm so FRUSTRATED. My mom is so freaking religious you can't get anything into her head. She's literally crazy. She says meditation is bad for you because it allows the devil to enter your mind. THAT'S the kind of crazy stuff she wholeheartedly believes in. She says the devil's taken over my head and making me want to take T. She "banned" me from taking T but I'm the age of majority so she can't legally stop me, but I do live in her house b/c I'm a student and I'm still financially dependent on her. I wish I could move out but I live in Vancouver, where rent is in the thousands per month which isn't very feasible unless you work full-time.

EVERY SINGLE DAY she would come into my room and tell me that I'm going to die if I take T, and that I'm a horribly confused girl who needs to grow up. She calls me selfish and guilt trips me to not take T. She calls me a dead person already. I'm already at my breaking point with other things in my life and with her being stubborn and adlkjaewlkjgweglkjgslj I just want to smash my head through my window. I saw my therapist yesterday and I don't get to talk to her until Wednesday. I'm so sick of this! I'm very, very sick of people not understanding and people telling me how to live my life.

Hi bballshorty you should come into chat sometime, there is someone there regularly who can definitely relate to what is going on in your life.

BBS, it sounds like you understand your boundaries and how your mother is violating them. It's a tough situation but I can tell you have the intelligence and character strength to hang in. (That's really hard, especially when the meddling person is your mother).

Look inside yourself for courage to keep doing what you need to do and enough peace to accept that your current awfulness is temporary. You'll find what you're looking for. You have a strong heart.

Hang in there dude!

Bballshorty,

Gosh, yeah that is so frustrating! You need to look at things realistically though, as much as the situation really does suck; your mom is most likely not going to change her views on the situation at least not anytime soon. You are of legal age, so that means you CAN move out but as you said you're a student and it's important for your future to finish school. Your mom can't dictate your life, however if you live in her house; well this is tough, but it is HER house; so she can set any rules she'd like she can't physically stop you from taking T, but I suppose if she is really deadset against it, she could give you an ultimatum of 'if you take it you have to move out'. I hope she doesn't do that, your physical transition is very important....but it may end up being one of those things where you have to make a tough decision. Like either moving somewhere you can afford on your own (another province maybe?) Or not starting T until you are able to financially support yourself. Putting a delay on this would be really tough, but going to school to set your future is also important. I'm wishing you luck and hoping maybe your mom will have a change of heart and a breakthrough in accepting the person you are.

Please do as Orihime suggests.

Parents can be difficult, and I have no idea how to get through that kind of crazy either.  Hopefully showing how determined you are and that you're happier as a guy will help her understand (or at least tolerate) you.

I am really sorry to hear your situation.   I know that having ultra religious family can be tough.  I am not in the same situation per say, but I am living at home and will likely need to leave in order to start everything.  Sometimes you need to move forward and live for yourself.  You can tell them that you are moving on with your life with or without them.  That way you can move forward, but you aren't leaving them behind either.  This puts the ball in their court so to speak. 

However, from what you are saying, it seems like you may need to leave in order to start.  Believe me, I know how rent is.  I live in New York where the rent is terribly high and our jobs are currently few.  But things can and do work out eventually. 

Hope things get better.

Hey man, I hope you're alright. Try to calm yourself first, not being able to transition is really rough and I feel you on that. But you know what you are and who you are inside, it's not some wacky devil messing around in there. Hell, I've been told by my mom that I must be possessed or something. Moms can be hard to handle like that. But things will be okay.

If she comes into her room, let her talk and listen if you want to attempt to address what she's saying, but it really doesn't sound like you are going to be able to get through to her with reasoning. So it might be best to just smile and nod, and if you have long hair, that could be useful for disguising a pair of earbuds hooked up to a music-playing device. Just sayin'  Trust me, listening to some good tunes is much better for de-stressing yourself in an already stressful situation than taking in all this negativity.

Do you see a therapist? If not you might want to, they're awesome at listening if you need someone to vent to in person, and might have even better advice to offer. Though if you ask your mother about this, be careful- don't let her talk you into seeing someone who can "fix" you.

Try to squirrel away whatever money you can into a bank account, small things add up. Hopefully that college education will help with job searching, and when you land a job you can rent a place, maybe even save up by sharing a place with a roommate or two. Once you get your own place, there is nothing that she can hold over your head to keep you from transitioning. I can only hope that when you're on your own and she has to decide between acceptance and her own beliefs, that she chooses in favor of her son. If not, she's really missing out.

Just keep your eyes on the path in front of you, and try not to let her get you down. It sucks that parents reject and hurt their own children over faith, but unfortunately there are people like that out there. Hopefully one day that will all change. Good luck, man.

Quote from: bballshorty on April 20, 2013, 11:12:20 PM
I'm so FRUSTRATED. My mom is so freaking religious you can't get anything into her head. She's literally crazy. She says meditation is bad for you because it allows the devil to enter your mind. THAT'S the kind of crazy stuff she wholeheartedly believes in. She says the devil's taken over my head and making me want to take T. She "banned" me from taking T but I'm the age of majority so she can't legally stop me, but I do live in her house b/c I'm a student and I'm still financially dependent on her. I wish I could move out but I live in Vancouver, where rent is in the thousands per month which isn't very feasible unless you work full-time.

EVERY SINGLE DAY she would come into my room and tell me that I'm going to die if I take T, and that I'm a horribly confused girl who needs to grow up. She calls me selfish and guilt trips me to not take T. She calls me a dead person already. I'm already at my breaking point with other things in my life and with her being stubborn and adlkjaewlkjgweglkjgslj I just want to smash my head through my window. I saw my therapist yesterday and I don't get to talk to her until Wednesday. I'm so sick of this! I'm very, very sick of people not understanding and people telling me how to live my life.

I really feel for you. I live in Burnaby, so I'm very close to you! I hope that your mother will eventually understand, but religiosity is one thing; zealotry, fanaticism, superstition and fundamentalism is another.

I hope things get better somehow. Do you have any family members nearby, or queer-friendly friends that you can crash for a bit, even if once a week? I know this is just temporary relief, but your mother's temper is coming out of her discomfort and you don't deserve the reactionary backlashes of her insecurity.