Hi oh where to start
For a long time in my life I have felt "different" so to say one of m earliest memories I cqn recall was my mother getting angry at my friend and I because we were wearing her close I the wedding dress which I didn't want to take off. I was always the quiet person in school very few friends, shy, the kid ho everyone thought and still thinks is weird and gay. And used to pray to "god" often as a kid to wake up in a girls body and wished that a lot as a child . Then there was this one time I asked my friend if he ever wore his sisters or moms cloths and he freaked out on me and said it was gay no way your gay blah blah blah, and jn 8th grade I was with this boy and said I wanted to be a girl and got the same response which might hav scared me.  Sorry kinda jumping around. But I'm 21 now and for the past 6 years these feelings only seem to intenseify and it is causing me great stress and to add can't even say how long I've been severely depressed and been using pills and weed tonhelp combt these emotion and feelings
and can,t seem to figuremout why. I mean I never realy felt like a boy untill I look in the mirror and get this odd feeling of disgust. Sorry again for my errors using a tablet and needed to vent and seemed like the best community. A

Hello, LonelyElf.  Welcome, and no reason to be lonely any more.  You are welcome here 

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You did not say whether you were working or in school, but seeing a therapist about your gender issues and depression (they may very well be linked) is always a good idea.

Hi Honey,

Welcome to the site, people will be around to show you the rules etc. I of course don't know where you are, I'm in Australia. But the best thing you can do is to get an appointment with a gender therapist to have a talk about how you feel and what you want done.

I would very strongly suggest trying to give weed and pills, most Docs won't be happy to give hormone treatment to people who have multiple problems unless they are being resolved. There is too much risk of adverse effects.

You are young and that is rally good and you may well have a fantastic response to therapy and be able to live a very long happy life as the woman you are.

We just have to start the first steps.

Cindy

Welcome Elf. =)