I just feels some days like idk where I fit in this world.. When I dress like a female o feel so wrong like its not me.. But then when I dress like a guy i just feel like i dont belong like everyone asks me why do i dress like that why dont i act like a girl.. I feel like no one understands me or ever will.. I told my mom i wanted a sex change and she's all your not getting one and why you cant even see your top but its like everyday after a while i feel okay but than once i take my clothes off i realize im not the person i wanna be im not who i think i am and it kills.. Like i hate this and no one understands and they think im weird especially coming from a small town.. I wanna talk to a therapist and my doctorb i can start t I i feel they will look at me akward too.. Idk I just hope one day I will feel alright...

You know what? One day you will feel okay and it'll be very soon. Until you're 18 you're kind of at the mercy of the people who are over 18 but it flies by so fast. I'm only 27 and I can't believe the last ten years are over already.

I get where you're coming from about dressing and being comfortable. I recently went to a funeral and out of respect I wore fem clothes to not draw attention to myself so that the family would be comfortable. I was absolutely miserable the entire time and angry that I had to spend money on something I'm never going to wear again.
When people ask tell them it's none of their business. Adults don't feel the need to answer to everyone and getting in some good practice will help you feel better about yourself. One thing I live by is 'fake it 'til you make it' and it's served me well.

Yeah I know what you mean I just hope at least my family van learn to understand me and take me as I am and just support me instead of bring me down

I'm a step south of you. Last night I sealed up the envelope and dropped my coming out letter in the mailbox. My parents should get it Saturday or Monday. I don't care if they accept me. I don't care if they like who I am. I don't care if they have anything negative to say. In my letter I told them that I want our relationship to be respectful and I'm fully prepared to stand my ground.

Adopting that kind of attitude might help you feel better. It can be a pleasant experience when your family says 'Oh it's okay' when you expected them to call you a sinner and a freak.

I know how you feel too. I've still not come out because I know what my parents would say. Some of us are stuck in a situation where we can't leave our folk's homes -- and that's okay.
We're all here for you. We'll get through the waiting process!