Good question I ask myself but having known about this place for a while I at last felt compelled to join because of something going on with me that I have allowed at last after a lifetime of self oppression for not quite fitting in and not quite being with the standard societal model we are subjected to. And I really did try to fit in, I even got married and divorced but the denying of that something in myself I believe caused the mental health issues I have experienced, issues which lead first to a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome and then the icing on the cake and why I was infertile and young looking for my age was the fact that despite being male I had an extra female sex chromosome, I was not a standard male after all, what was going on inside, the feminine stuff that sometimes leaked outside was the true nature of me.
But what is in my mind, what have I allowed at last, well, I have allowed the truth of myself and where my mind wanders and it does wander as it always has before I clubbed the thought back in the past when I became aware of it, a notion where I don't consider myself male or female but something in between which chance would have it the thought actually fits my genotype now I know it, where my feeling is I am male and female at the same time, both and neither where another trans I knew actually called what I am natural transgender, how much truth there is in that I don't know and perhaps those here might be able to shed some light on that ?
But what is in my mind is partial physical transition not full trans, is that weird ?
But otherwise I shave my body, I grow my hair long, I dance a predominantly female dance and my choice of clothing when I dress up to go somewhere special has been described as subtly border crossing.
My sexuality I like to think is pansexual but I am asexual type c mostly with the norm but somewhat different when it comes to gender variations, where I actually feel physical attraction that is not apparent elsewhere but in common with my extra X, I am a soft skinned, gentle and passive creature still not one hundred percent sure of myself and so why I guess I am here - to find out more.
But the depression I have suffered most of my life is lifting, each day is getting better as I settle into the truth of myself at last, but with that truth is coming a desire for physical changes I am not entirely comfortable with the thought of yet despite my not caring what society thinks as I have had enough of that judgement as it nearly killed me.
And so Hello to you all.
