Tonight I faced one of the biggest challenges that I had been planning on avoiding until I had to face it. But tonight I just felt like I needed to get it done and over and know the reaction and the outcome. So I told my mother that I was trans.
She didn't yell. She apparently had no idea what the word even meant, when I referenced Chaz Bono which she watched Dancing with the Stars and I know she knows who Cher is and all of that, she thought Chaz was just a gay man, so she had no idea at all what the word meant, which it made it harder to explain but I think is good because she doesn't have an image or anything to compare me to and is able to just look at me as me.
But she asked for some books to read because she doesn't understand. So I was wondering if anyone knew of any books or anything like that. She doesn't know how to use the internet or anything so she wants to read books because it is something she can do on her own. And if there are any good websites with information I can print for her that would be good too. I am just beyond thrilled she wants to learn, when I came out as lesbian this was not her reaction at all, there was a lot of swearing, crying, threats, etc that carried on for 5 years after.
She said she feels like she is losing her daughter, which she is and I know loss is hard, I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like for her as I have never lost anyone besides grandparents. And I told her I understand how she would feel that way, but that she would have to decide if she wants to lose her daughter and gain me as a son or lose me altogether. And she paused for a second and said it would take time, and she wasn't sure if she could but she knew that she wanted me happy even if the solution was I moved away because of her and she would help me do that because she didn't want to lose me in another way. Which it isn't a perfect response, but I think it is a very honest one and still positive given our past.
So yeah if you know any books or anything that would be appreciated, thank you.
