Oh dear oh dear.. I'm just so sorry you're going through this but can't say that I'm altogether surprised. Seems that from the very start if there was a mistake to be made your parents would go out of their way to make it.
There's not really that much you can do here I'm afraid. The world is divided generally into people who accept the world and others for who they are and those who have solid convictions over how others and the world 'should' be.
I can think of a lot of adjectives to describe your parents and their actions but I won't. It's not going to make any of this any easier for you, it's not going to lead to a change, and I feel what you need right now are things which help you stay positive and strong.
Families only matter in life when they stick together and support each other and when they don't.. well that's why we have friends. But you can of course create your own family, there's nothing to stop you doing that, and these are the people who will be there for you no matter what.
The thing is with your parents it isn't really goodbye at all and not the end of the relationship. This period you have just gone through with your parents will remain and it will keep on coming back to them, time after time, after time, after time. Every holiday, every vacation, every birthday, and each and every time something happens or something is said which triggers a memory.
This is karma, the consequences of decisions, of choices, of actions.
This is why there's no need for adjectives, but for things which keep you positive and strong. This relationship doesn't end for you either, and even if you don't have to deal with your parents in contact there's still the relationship and the karma to deal with.
This has something to do with being right. Being right isn't really about thinking or doing something which is going to meet widespread acceptance and approval, but about making choices and decisions that you are fully prepared to live with.
I would be inclined to acknowledge and accept your mother's honesty and courage of conviction. This isn't because I agree with her. I don't, I just see a lot of unnecessary hassle and drama, I just see a complete lack of responsibility, a lack of compassion and humanity, and a lack of effort.
There's no magic when it comes to human relationships. You can find all the understanding, acceptance, agreement and harmony if you're prepared to make the effort and so too is the other side. As you can see, when one side is no longer prepared to make the effort, that's when it falls apart.
But I also believe in being responsible and in holding other people responsible for their choices and decisions. Karma gives you a choice. You can choose here to lash out and hit back when things don't go your way, or to threaten, to manipulate, and to coerce, or you can just accept and move on.
These aren't the things which hurt. What hurts when relationships fall apart are the unfulfilled expectations. If you keep hold of these then I feel you will be continuing the relationship with some degree of bitterness, as your parents have now chosen to do.
My suggestion is to accept everything as is. You've done everything you could, you've actually done yourself proud, but there's nothing more you can do but to accept that your parents are being responsible in their own way, doing what they feel is right, and that they are the ones who will have to live with the consequences of these choices and decisions.
Whatever you do stay strong and hang in there, be positive, but most of all be yourself.
