My name is Justin, I am 33 years old with a wife & 3 children.  For the last 4years I have finally been hit with an overwhelming feeling that I should be a woman,  the thought makes me happy.  How do I explain this to wife when we have children involved?  I seriously don't want to mentally mess them up for life

Pleased to meet you Justin.  Welcome.

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I completely understand your desire not to traumatize or alienate your family.  Having family makes these things much more complicated.

I have been married over 29 years and have 4 kids.  My feminine side is not something I hide, but it is also not something I paraded around when the kids were young (they are 26 to 19 now).  BTW - I identify as bigendered.

I suggest that you look into counseling, specifically gender counseling, to explore these feelings.

Hi Justin,

Welcome to our little family. Over 11113. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.


Janet  )O(

Welcome Wishfulstar,

Feel free to look around the threads and make yourself at home. We've all had times in our lives that were confusing and difficult. I agree with Jamie, you should find a therapist that is familiar with gender therapy. Wish you the best on your journey. 

The kids should be OK, they take it much better than adults. The wife... it depends on her. Your therapist can help guide you through it, but you need to be honest and up-front with your wife.

I'm 41, married for 12 years and can relate a bit to you. Before you do anything, get a good therapist. I met with mine for 4 months before coming out to my wife. A good gender therapist will equip you with ways to talk to your wife, help you understand yourself better, and then help you pick up the pieces when it all falls apart (and it will all fall apart in some form or another.)  Go slow, and educate yourself as much as possible before you do anything.

And welcome

ਜੀ ਆਇਆ ਨੂੰ।  (Welcome!)    I am sure you'll find lots of support here and receive good advice on how to come out to your family.

Welcome to Susan's, Justin. Seek all the help you can in answering your questions and concerns.