So as maybe some of you are aware, I came out to my brother this past weekend. Since talking with him and a very close friend of mine, we have both noticed a rather large shift in myself. It is a little hard to explain but I will try. It feels like I'm just ready. Ready to start letting people in on this. Ready to start actually taking steps towards full time. Before when I used to think about it, it was shrouded in these dark clouds of fear and shame. Eventhough I felt like I had accepted myself fully, the shame still lingered. After having such a great experience with my brother, those clouds have turned into bright rays of hope. Now this isn't to say that I have tricked myself into thinking that I will have such a positive reaction with everyone. I know that I will lose some people. That, I have no doubt in. Its more along the lines of knowing that I will forever have my brother and sister in law forever by my side. No matter who leaves me or trys to hurt me, they will be there. I think for me that is making a huge difference in how I look at telling people now. I will be really sad to see some people go. But maybe thats for the best, for both of our sakes.

I am just curious if this is a common thing with people that have had a similar experience coming out to someone. I have a hard time thinking this is an isolated event. If anyone out there would share with me. If this feeling persisted for you. Even after telling someone that had an adverse reaction to your news. Personally, I think a bad reaction would not deter me from telling more people. I think it might be the opposite actually. As if getting a good reaction from someone becomes addicting. Anyone else out there like me? 

<3 Liv

i would think this is common. once you cross a hurtle its more easy to keep going

Yeah, I also underestimated the effects of feeling support. I've been feeling infinitely more secure since my mother promised to help me shop for clothes, and the laser people told me I looked more like a girl than a guy. Before I was terrorized about going full time this summer/autumn, all alone, and super insecure about my lack of breasts or a female-shaped body. Now I'm still scared, but I'm facing the scary obstacles with courage. Well, if not courage, at least not terror.

The simple fact of being alone makes everything infinitely scarier.