Has anyone here tried the dating site onegoodlove.com?

It's touted as being the first "relationship" site for the LGBT community.  You can fully identify yourself as Gay, Lesbian, Transgender Male, Transgender Female so that is pretty cool.

Here is the thing I am wondering. Since it's a pay site much like match.com, but LGBT focused, I wonder if transgender people will kind of be an afterthought? Since it is a paysite there will probably be less ->-bleeped-<- types but the downside is that trans men and trans women looking for straight relationships might not have any prospects there as I doubt straight people will sign up on the site.

Maybe lesbian trans-women and gay trans-men will fair better but it has been my observation  that most lesbian and gay people (I should just say most people in general) are not interested in dating transgender people. Trans people looking for trans people may do well there.

My problem is I am a binary trans-woman attracted to men, so I doubt I would have any luck on it but was wondering if any one had evidence to the contrary?

I'll check it out cause while I have feelings of being trans, I know I most likely won't ever be able to act on them. I've looked at various dating sites hoping to find Ms Right (M2F) but have never had any luck. I've not heard of the one you mentioned, so it's worth a shot I guess.

I think the problem with most dating sites is m2f's and f2m's are just as much their correct gender as their genetically born counterparts, the sites don't see them as that though and don't usually offer those options when picking gender.

I live in a small rural area of colorado.   I have resorted to dating sites.  Honestly the best luck I have had is craigslist. (Ive tried lots of dating sites).  I know, I know, I know...  but you just have to know how to use it.

They key is to stick to misc romance, also dont bother posting an ad, stick to replying to men's ad's.  I have found in misc romance, that the men posting there who say they are looking for LTR, or dating actually mean it most of the time.  People looking for sex, tend to stick to Casual encounters.

I dont know if you are pre or post, but if you are pre-op (I am), all I can do is wish you good luck in finding 100% straight guys.  Ive had my fair share who didnt know I was trans at first,  continued to date after I told them, but in the end, a pre-op is gonna need someone who's a little more sexually open, regardless of how open a straight guy is.  Mostly I have stuck to men who are openly bisexual, and interested in fem types.    These are not ->-bleeped-<-s, they tend to be openly bi men.  They tend to respect my sexual wishes. The guy I am seeing now is bisexual, it doesnt bother me.  He's sweet, treats me like he would any other cis woman he was interested in.  Totally met him from craigslist.  I used to be irritated by how certain men were behaving on dates  from some of these sites.  However after getting to know the current one, and hearing his terrible dates with trans women makes me realize, its a two way street.  I started dating again back in January.  I went out with 8 different guys(from various date sites) until I found one that was what I was looking for, and what he was looking for. (for the time being).  Ive had a few guys tell me about their ->-bleeped-<-ty expereinces.  Like transwoman who are only looking for some guy to foot the bill of their transition. 

Honestly Id rather date a guy who is openly bisexual, than a ->-bleeped-<- type who is only interested in pre-op transwoman.  Not all ->-bleeped-<-s are bad, but the attitude approch and respect between an openly bisexual male, and a ->-bleeped-<- is usually pretty apparent to me.

Oh damn I'm just looking for someone to foot the bill! Is that bad?   

Seriously though, I would totally be open to a relationship with a bisexual man, and possibly a ->-bleeped-<- as long as he did't treat me as an obvious fetish sex-object. Sure a 100% straight guy would be great but I am pre-op so I am realistic.

I haven't dated in years so I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. It's easier when your young but at middle-age not so much.  My dilema: Where do you meet people? Bars are kind of ->-bleeped-<-ty.  So I am considering dating sites.

Craigslist has always scared me though so I'd have to think about that.

I will be curiously following this thread   I have the same desire to meet a man, but don't know how to do so being a total beginner transitioner.

I would be very cautious about craigslist.  There are sure to be some good people there, but also lots of creeps.  If you decide to pursue someone from that source, take a lot of safety precautions.  Better safe than sorry.  Still, it is nice to know that it has worked for some in our community.  Maybe I will consider it in the future.

Good luck Sadie and be sure to let us how the hunting goes

->-bleeped-<-, hmm. I don't think I'd call myself that but if I found a pre-op girl, that would be perfectly fine with me. If she wanted to stay that way, that's fine too. I wouldn't, however, call myself openly bi. I don't have any interest in guys, no attraction there. But if a girl is pre-op, well she's a girl, plain and simple.

I've tried Craig's looking for a pre-op girl, they're somewhat easier to find than the post-op females. But in my area, finding a serious trans female is a joke. You can find a lot for a fee but I'm not interested in that. So it's nice to have hope of a better dating site.

Trust me, I have tired alot of dating sites.  Craigslist, as long as you know how to use it, works best, and its free.

If you dont know how to use it, well you are gonna have ->-bleeped-<-ty experiences.

1. Stick to Misc Romanace
2. Reply to ad's not post one (you can post one, but be prepared for the unending assortment of bull->-bleeped-<-)
3.  First "date", meet somewhere public, for drinks and maybe dinner.   Keep it simple.  I prefer to meet for a drink, maybe food. I see how they are, and well if 4 hours later you are still talking, laughing, smiling, consider a second date.

Dont give people multipul chances.. if they flake on you, you deserve better, and chances are the reason they flaked, is cuz they arnt who they say they are.    I tend not to do multipul emails, txting or phone calls.... if a guy is interested, he will meet you, and face to face is far more meaningfull.   I once spent 3 weeks talkng to a  guy via email and txt, cuz he was outa town.  When he was supposed to get back into town, somehow he wasnt interested anymore, even though up until that day he was.  Lots of fakes, and lots of flakes.

If I lived in a city, with a GLBT scene, Id probably just goto the gayborhood and be seen.... living in rural colorado mountains, ive had to modify how i meet people.  Its been working decently since i figured out the best way to do it.

Quote from: ParadigmCrime on May 12, 2013, 08:10:07 PM
Trust me, I have tired alot of dating sites.  Craigslist, as long as you know how to use it, works best, and its free.

If you dont know how to use it, well you are gonna have ->-bleeped-<-ty experiences.

1. Stick to Misc Romanace
2. Reply to ad's not post one (you can post one, but be prepared for the unending assortment of bull->-bleeped-<-)
3.  First "date", meet somewhere public, for drinks and maybe dinner.   Keep it simple.  I prefer to meet for a drink, maybe food. I see how they are, and well if 4 hours later you are still talking, laughing, smiling, consider a second date.

Dont give people multipul chances.. if they flake on you, you deserve better, and chances are the reason they flaked, is cuz they arnt who they say they are.    I tend not to do multipul emails, txting or phone calls.... if a guy is interested, he will meet you, and face to face is far more meaningfull.   I once spent 3 weeks talkng to a  guy via email and txt, cuz he was outa town.  When he was supposed to get back into town, somehow he wasnt interested anymore, even though up until that day he was.  Lots of fakes, and lots of flakes.

If I lived in a city, with a GLBT scene, Id probably just goto the gayborhood and be seen.... living in rural colorado mountains, ive had to modify how i meet people.  Its been working decently since i figured out the best way to do it.

Out of curiosity, have you found any long term connections from craigslist?  Maybe I have judged it unfairly in the past, but it seemed to me to be a site for guys looking for one night stands.  There is nothing wrong with that, but that's not my thing.  So, have you found many guys that were open to a commitment someday down the road?  And did they actually ever follow through? Personally, I have always wanted to just meet my prince charming,lol.  But, I know I am a bit of an unrealistic romantic.  I know that as a transwoman I'll likely need to do some casual dating before I meet my prince.  Still, it would be nice to know if it would be easy to meet men who were willing to be serious with girls like us. 

What is a ->-bleeped-<-??

This is fairly new to me for a variety of reasons:

I havnt always lived in a rural area
When I did, I had a long term lover already


Recently (August 2012) I broke it off with my long term lover..  In Janurary I decided to 'get back out there'

Have I met prince charming?  No.  Have I met far more respectable men on CL than any other dating site?  Yes.

Like I said, you have to stick to the "Misc Romance" catagory.  On CL, there are only two catagorys to post in if you are trans.  "Casual Encounters" and the lesser known "Misc Romance" ..  Obviously if you look in CAS your going to find that... and while it might follow you think thats what you will find in the other catagorys, its not true.  I have been on a number of pleasent dates with men from the Misc Romance catagory.  Prince Charming?  maybe not.. but who knows..  Ive been seeing the same one for a month now, and Im going to see him next week as well.  Love is a strong word.. I also dont fall in love easily, or quickly.  Having a great time dating?  YES!

My only serious romantic interests have all happened when I gave up trying hard for LTR, when I just said to myself "Im going to date and have fun".. Cliche I know... stop looking, it will find you.  In the meantime, have fun.  Im not saying be a slut (although I wont fault that.....)  .. but go on some dates.

The guy I am currently seeing... after our little first date.. I was thinking to myself "eh, he's nice, he's cute, but I dunnooo" ... then he kissed me at the end of the date.. and damn was there sparks.

Love? Prince Charming?  No idea, and I dont care... am I gonna keep seeing him? yes!  I also keep finding out cool ->-bleeped-<- about him over our dates, stuff that makes me think.. i would have never thought he was into _____.

My experiences with other dating sites have been less than steller, even if they say they are for romance.   I originally had a pretty terrible idea of craigslist, because of past experiences, but like i said.. its all about knowing how to use it.  Then again I imagine YMMV depending on where you live.

I live in colorado, and have used the boulder & denver craigslist

Quote from: XchristineX on May 12, 2013, 10:59:17 PM
What is a ->-bleeped-<-??

->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-.. someone with specific, and fetishstic interests in transsexuals. 99% of the time pre-ops

I could say some rather mean things about them, but whatever.  They generally are cheaters (usually married).  Most of their ideas about transsexuals come from porno. 

now Im not saying all people who might appear to be a ->-bleeped-<- are bad.  Generally though I am leary of a guy who tells me he's straight, and only likes females and transsexuals. 

Again not bashing men who truely feel that way, and its making grand assumptions.  I have been with straight men, who had no interest in transsexuals, Ive been with ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s, and Ive been with bisexual men.  Bisexual men have been the least problomatic.  Ive been with some bi men that border ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-, but as long as they were open about it, and not worried what other people think, its been good.


Its always so tempting and psycological fufilling to go for guys who are straight, but unless you get really freakin lucky about actually finding a straight guy who is ok(and I mean ok with it for real, not just saying that, then dumps your ass cuz you dont have a vagina) with you being pre-op, I dont think you will have much luck

Being a pre-op trans and dating is rather tricky.  If srs was actually in my near future, I probably wouldnt bother until after.  Seeing how its not in my near future.. baby needs some lovin

ParadigmCrime pretty much summed up the pre-op dating scene perfectly... also can seriously relate, so many guys get scared and flake out!

There is no 100% straight guy that will genuinely be accepting of pre-op in my experience, even if they say they are straight usually still have an assortment of sub kinks and usually borderline bi-curious at the very least!

Not saying there is anything wrong with that, but either wait for SRS or be prepared

If your just looking for something casual, some ->-bleeped-<-s can be really sweet and genuinely into you as a person.. but obviously not worth it for anyone who is getting SRS eventually.

Also try OkCupid.com, I had some success on there by just putting that I was pre-op at the top of my profile (that's how I met my current "straight" bf)

I was recently watching transition videos on YT and stumbled upon an interesting exchange between TS and several guys. What really caught my attention was that someone previously had used the term "t-->-bleeped-<-" and they felt really insulted by it. It was sort of like reading the same bigotry about "TS =  weird = fetish = (insert your choice) philia = OMG OMG lets burn them all" but with regard to those guys which are interested in relationship with pre-op and do not consider themselves t-->-bleeped-<-s. In fact, they hate that term as much as we hate the "sh..ale" or "->-bleeped-<-". And I was wondering - how many of those whom we sometimes dismiss as t-->-bleeped-<-s, in fact, are not such? I joined our local LGBT site to search for other TS/TG persons and was instantly overhelmed by lots of PMs from apparently straight guys and bi-curious, even despite me openly stating that I am not going to be somebody's sex object or toy - still apparently seeing a pre-op MTF TS for certain category of males is like waving a red flag for a bull... Many of those PMs could be instantly dismissed because of their explicit content, yet I wonder how many of others messages, which I dismissed because I instantly wanted to label those guys as ->-bleeped-<-s, were probably written with another purpose? I dont know how it with the rest of You, but I feel that when I get deeper into my transition I would have to be very careful about whom I am will be seeing and with what purposes because of the sake of safety. Perhaps, those are just my inner fears or stereotypes, inner transphobia, or me just trying to be realistic or even cynical about men (and well, we all pretty much know their way of thinking - we may not relate to it, but we are certainly more skilled in their ways than cis-women) and things are not that bleak at all?

I share your sentiment Sammy, but since I was initially just looking for sexual experiences, ->-bleeped-<-s were fine so I didn't ignore them.. heaps of sleazy ones that were ignored quickly, but I found there was some really sweet and nice ones. Nonetheless, they were interested in our pre-op bits, this seems to really put off some girls.. but as long as they don't expect anything in return from me then who cares if they like it?

No reason to put down ->-bleeped-<-s just because they are polysexuals, there are nice ones and there are sleazy ones, just like with straight guys. But obviously, it probably wouldn't work long term if someone was planning to get SRS.

I think dysphoria plays a big part in the ->-bleeped-<- hate factor, I'm still not completely put off by it, but more so than before as my SRS date is only a few months away.

Do I state that I am a pre op right in the add??

I'm quote unknowleddgable about. Dating sites
And what to print

I would say I am not needing to immediately find the love of my life. I fully expect I will need to kiss a few frogs as they say.  I mainly just need experience, I haven't been with anyone in 3 1/2 years and since my attraction has changed from women to men. Either a flip switched or I stopped repressing natural attraction during my transition. So now as I have never been with a man this is causing me some anxiety, to put it mildly.   

At first I was thinking I should just wait until the surgery but I honestly don't see that happening anytime soon.  I am just so tired of being alone that I just need to bite the bullet and get back out there even if I am pre-op.

I have not tried that one. But I have done match.com

I'm not actively looking and certainly not seeing anyone but in my opinion you're not dating someone's genitals, you're dating the person they're attached to. And for me, since I'm not into the male form, if she happens to have the male "bits" (as it was referred to) then that doesn't bother me in the least. Am I bisexual? I guess I'd have to say yes to that one, even though I wouldn't touch a genetic guy with a ten foot pole.

Am I a ->-bleeped-<-? I'd say no but I can see where I'd be classified as that if I didn't have my own little gender issues. How do I feel about being called that, I personally don't like it cause it's not strictly a sexual thing for me and not cause of something I saw in a porno. So maybe that means I'm that poly thing mentioned before?  This GID thing has a lot of reading and research, doesn't it?