Hello, I'm from NY. I need help. I really wanna start transition now. I know this is what I want like I cant stand being a girl. However when I told my mom she said she wont allow me to take hormones. She doesnt believe me. She thinks this is a phase but I know its not. Lately ive been crying  often feeling more depressed because I just cant take it. Last summer I forced myself to atleast try enjoy being a girl. I forced myself into female clothes and everything. It was the worst. Like as long as i can remember I NEVER felt right as a girl. So any help on how to convince her its not a phase and If she believes me what do I do then? Do I have to see a gender therapist? How do I find one? Do they give me a referal? Am I even allowed to be givin hormones at this age? If I start transistion how do I change my name and legal gender? Do I even have to change it legally now but if i dont will teachers and schools call me by my birth name? .... Those are a few things im wondering. Thanks for any help. 

Stefan, if you are in or around the NYC area, there are a number of gender therapists, and/or therapists who are versed in GLBTQ issues.

I'll be back in a minute with a listing.

Try this:

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?sid=1368671431.8648_26945&city=New+York&state=NY&spec=187&spec=326&lmore=4

You can get hormones at age 16, I believe, with parental permission. I imagine it would be quite difficult to get them before then. Hormone blockers would be another option, but it could be too late depending on your age; they try to administer them at Tanner's stage two of puberty.

My advice would be to go to a gender therapist. Tell your mom that you are feeling depressed and that you need a licensed professional to talk to. Because, frankly, how is she going to argue? If the therapist decides to diagnose you with gender dysphoria, then she'd be nuts to argue with someone who's trained to treat trans people. Check out this list of gender therapists.

As far as name changing and changing your gender marker, that varies from state to state. I believe you will need to contact the state of your birth to change your gender marker. Assuming you were born in New York, you will need SRS to change your marker. As for a name change, it's the same as any in the state who wants to change their name. Check out this site for information on that.

Thank you. Ill most definitely will try seeing a gender therapist then I guess ill just take it from there.

Not sure how old you are (under 18 can not post their age on here) but I'm assuming you're young. You can talk to your guidance counselor but until you're a legal adult there isn't anything you can do really without your parent's consent.

I know it's tough, been there and done that. The best thing you can do is make sure you get great grades and into a College once you graduate. Once you're in College, a legal adult, and out of the house then you'll have control over what you want to do. Right now try your best to be patient with your mom. Even if she thinks in the back of her mind that it might not be a phase she's probably scared.

Transitioning takes a lot of money but it also takes a lot of time. Try to assure your mom that you'll always be the same person inside. You just need a chance to match your outside with how you feel. Whatever you do, don't go at her in anger. It'll just make things worse. 

Hey, Stephan. Welcome to Susan's. Do you live around NYC? If so, Devlyn's list may be of much use to you. I don't know of any place that would do informed consent around here, nor does it sound like your mother would appreciate you going behind her back to get HRT.

Legally changing your name also requires a parent or guardian for minors. You don't need any surgery for that, but you do need to have had surgery in order for your sex to be changed- at least that's how it works in the city. They'll seal off the record of your old birth certificate and give you a new one.

Luckily, you don't need to legally change your name in order to request that others at school call you by your preferred name and pronouns. Or at least that's how NYC is, again. And you need to be 16 for HRT, by the way.

I know how you feel on the issue of parents, but don't give up. My mom completely rejected me when I first came out, and both my parents later decided that it was a phase and that I put it all in my head. They were completely terrible about the whole thing and hurt me a lot, until all of a sudden they changed their minds. I don't know what did it, but they started making small efforts to avoid setting off any further dysphoria. Last night I vented to my mother about trans-related things, and for once she actually listened. It can take days, weeks, months, years...but parents care, and they'll come around in time. Hang in there, kid- your situation is a lot like mine, but things will look up eventually.

If you are in the syracuse area, there is the goldberg clinic at SU. They offer free gender therapy. If you're in the rochester area, I know a gender therapist there but i can't remember her name. I could look for it later if you want.
The Dignity act that just went into place requires teachers to use your preffered name and pronouns, even without parental support or any legal changes.
You need parental consent to go on hormones and change your name. But if you can get your mom's support you can do those things. (and contrary to what liminal stranger said, you don't have to be 16 to start T)
You should try to educate your mom or introduce her to people who can. If you want, you can PM me and I can give you my moms email and she'll happily talk to your mom and try to help out your situation.

Even with parental consent, I don't know of many places that would give HRT to someone under 16. Without it would be an even slimmer chance, and I doubt his mom would be happy about that  But okay.

Thank you for the help. I honestly wont have a problem with convincing my mom. Plus its not like she despises it she just doesnt think Im so sure about myself. I just wanna be sure whether or not if I actually do go to a gender therapist do I have to be 16 to start on T ?

I believe there's one guy I know of who started at 14, but that's an extremely rare thing. It's possible to start before 16, but unlikely.

Maybe I can see a gender therapist see what they think... if I cant start T now I could possibly wait till im 16 and try to pass as good as I can.

I started at 15 and I have a friend who started at 14. 15 isn't too uncommon. Anything younger, yes. Idk maybe it's just where i live.