So I think my last post here was about how i'd been put to the back of the waiting list and I couldn't be seen until February next year. Well everything got cleared up at the gender clinic and i got put to the front as promised and I've just come back from my appointment. I'll be having another appointment in June and if all goes well i'll be put on the care pathway and then hormone treatment.

Theres one problem though. I don't have any evidence of any meaningful activity or employment in my new gender. I'm currently not working and this is due to medical reasons. My doctors don't feel I am in a good place to be working. I was told that it doesn't have to be work related but needs to at least prove that I am living full time. I currently sell my artwork but this is usually via the internet which again isn't really proof of me engaging with others as myself.

Has anyone got any suggestions of what I could do? I'm trying to sell artwork in shops but I don't think that will be enough proof for them. I've tried looking at social groups to join but haven't had much luck with that.

Find someplace to volunteer your free time. The good thing about that is you can choose a place where you'll feel comfortable and also who really need your help (beggars don't choose). Volunteering sounds to some people like "WHY would I work for free!?!," but it's really gratifying, so you do get paid in a way. Really what's better than feeling good about someting you've done?

I was thinking the exact same thing.

If I may, offer yourself to some worthy cause but don't tell them you are transgender or anything else. It's none of their business anyway and you are to be judged on your performance, not your gender expression.

Honestly can't suggest what you look at.

Don't know which benefirt you receive. If jobseekers you may need to check with the jobcentre. You could suggest it will lead to better things ect. I just don't know.

But one thing is really important.

I have totally forgotton to say how utterly thrilled and overjoyed I am at your news.

Great 

Hey. I'm currently on employment and support allowance. The thing with voluntary work is I don't feel I am in the right place to do that. I know it wouldn't be a lot of work but even so several doctors have confirmed I am not well enough to work yet and I don't want to do something that might cause me more stress right now. I'd be more than happy to work for free, it's just I don't want to relapse after so much work I've done towards getting better (this is all in relation to mental health stuff).

I was thinking maybe about social groups. The guy at the gender clinic said being a part of a group or club does count. I've managed to find a group that relates to my mental health issues that meet up every week so I might give that a go.

I am not too sure what to suggest, but I will give it a try.  Since you enjoy art work, is there some kind of art society or organization that you could occasionally volunteer with.  I know that you want to avoid working, but this is within your area of interest so maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea.  It seems to me that want proof of you working in some capacity as your identified gender.  Therefore, I don't think any clubs would count or selling items in a shop would be enough for these gatekeepers.

I never heard that you needed proof of daily living for hormones. Based on this post, I am assuming you aren't in the states, is that correct? However, if you are, there are better options available to you.

The point is, the Gender Clinic wants to see that you are able and ready to present yourself in your preferred gender, to the general outside world.

A club might be a good start. But being you to random people and dealing with negativity is what counts.

In another thread, https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,140287.0.html Katie talks about dealing with a rather pathetic looser and she does it well.

That's the sort of thing they are looking for. That you won't run crying to a corner at the first obsticale.

There is a notion going aroind in UK psychiatry at the moment of a form of Symplex where people, rather than dealing with their problems, seek to run away with alternative explainations. Moving to a new town because you don't get along with yoiur boss. Result, you meet an even worse boss because the problem is in you.

That is what these people are checking for.

We know you. They don't. You now need to prove yourself to them. And to do that, you need to have some verifiable outside experiences, such as a job or voluntry work.

Sorry, but there are no short cuts. You must do this. You must figure out how.


And if I may add, if you look aything like your avitar photo, you look male to me,

No the guy said anything that proves I'm living full time. He did say getting involved in any clubs, such as transgender groups or just doing anything where I am living in my preferred gender is fine. They said the requirements are very flexible based on the persons individual needs.
I've managed to find a group that deal with similar mental health issues to what I have. I believe this will be okay for them. It needs to be "meaningful activity" which can be anything as long as you are involved with something.

learningtolive- I'm from the UK. At the gender clinic I'm with (and I assume this is the same throughout the country) in order to start hormones you must prove you have changed your name, provide bank statements with your name or other documents with your name on and prove you are living full time by getting an employer or whoever is applicable to write them a letter providing evidence of that.

If that's what you need MRH, then go for it

Quote from: spacial on May 09, 2013, 11:13:39 AM
And if I may add, if you look aything like your avitar photo, you look male to me,

Thanks Spacial. I pass about 90% as male now. I very rarely get called "miss" or "love" anymore. It tends to be very very masculine men that notice I'm female but other than that I pretty much pass all the time.

Quote from: MRH on May 09, 2013, 02:24:52 PM
It tends to be very very masculine men that notice I'm female but other than that I pretty much pass all the time.

Happened a lot to me as well. And I'm genetically male!

That group is, in my opinion, insecure.

Quote from: MRH on May 09, 2013, 01:14:00 PM
learningtolive- I'm from the UK. At the gender clinic I'm with (and I assume this is the same throughout the country) in order to start hormones you must prove you have changed your name, provide bank statements with your name or other documents with your name on and prove you are living full time by getting an employer or whoever is applicable to write them a letter providing evidence of that.

Ugh, I feel very very sorry for you and your compatriots. 

There must be 'some' kind of private non-NHS option in the UK....

I didn't know the UK was so backward when it came to deal with transgender people.  Seriously, going full time before hormones?  That's just cruelty in my book.  Nonetheless, judging from your picture MRH, you pass very well and are quite handsome

Wishing you lots of luck with starting hormones.

Quote from: Asfsd4214 on May 09, 2013, 08:18:02 PM
There must be 'some' kind of private non-NHS option in the UK....

Private healthcare is available in the UK but you have to be quite well-off to afford it as our cost of living is very high. We pay National Insurance (to cover our NHS treatment) plus very high rates of taxes, so anyone who works for a living is pretty much left with pocket money at the end of the month. Plus if you're not working and on benefits (like MRH), private healthcare is completely out of reach.

I did some sums a couple of months ago: I pay more per year in National Insurance than I would pay for private healthcare... but I can't afford private healthcare because I'm forced to pay National Insurance. 

Quote from: learningtolive on May 09, 2013, 08:46:50 PM
I didn't know the UK was so backward when it came to deal with transgender people.  Seriously, going full time before hormones?  That's just cruelty in my book. 

Yes, it is backwards and it is cruel... but it is a requirement in most parts of the UK. I believe it's down to cost: the NHS loves rationing treatment, denying it wherever possible so they can save money, so they'll only give hormones to the most dedicated patients who are willing to jump through all their hoops. So we have to torment ourselves by starting RLE without hormones, just so that we can prove we're serious enough to get hormones.

I'm living my RLE at the moment and it's heartbreaking to be 'madamed' every day because of my voice... but I'm forced to do this because it's the only way to get hormones. This is demeaning and cruel to FtMs... but it's also downright inhuman (and even life-threatening) to do this to MtFs, who in many cases struggle much more to pass 'in the streets' before treatment, but are expected to go out in full make-up etc. regardless of the dangers they face as a result.

MRH, I suggest you do everything that you can within the requirements, such as changing your name & documentation (if you haven't already done so). You won't be able to change your passport or driving licence (if you have them) until you get a letter from the GIC, but you can change everything else. At the moment, the Jobcentre is your 'employer', so changing all your details with them (and having written evidence of this) should help too.

GICs aren't allowed to discriminate against unemployed people - particularly if they're currently unemployed due to disability - so they must make reasonable accommodations for the fact that you're not currently able to work.

Quote from: learningtolive on May 09, 2013, 08:46:50 PM
I didn't know the UK was so backward when it came to deal with transgender people.  Seriously, going full time before hormones?  That's just cruelty in my book.  Nonetheless, judging from your picture MRH, you pass very well and are quite handsome

Wishing you lots of luck with starting hormones.

In my (admittedly cynical) experience, they will impose anything that will enhance their own feelings of authority or simply put off having to actually do any real work!

But private health care here is enormously expensive.

Hey. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I've completely lost track of time. The last few days have just disappeared.

FTMDiaries- I changed my name a few months ago and I changed my driving license (well provisional license) without a letter from the GIC. All I needed to send off was my deed poll. I'm still yet to do my passport. I did ask the GIC to write a letter so I just need to wait for that.

I agree that it's cruel to make us live full time for so long. I'm fortunate that I pass easily but it's still difficult. I was with the GIC last year but was sent away because they wanted me to sort out my mental health problems first even though they had diagnosed me as having gender dysphoria, so I had yet another year of having to live without hormones. It has been tough and although I live full time now and everybody has accepted me the majority of people in my life still use female pronouns and still call me by my female name. My partners family still very much treat me like a girl and he said that will never change until I'm on hormones and I'm more masculine. I just wanna start living my life...

Thank god for texas and their AMA paperwork. A simple signature and I bypass RLE and can go right into stealth as I adjust in my own time to my role.

Quote from: Erin S on May 17, 2013, 08:54:27 AM
Thank god for texas and their AMA paperwork. A simple signature and I bypass RLE and can go right into stealth as I adjust in my own time to my role.

With respect, I don't think those sort of comparisons are helpful.

We have what we have. We must work with our system, as must you.

Any sympathies would be better used for those in places such as Russia.